Today marks the first day of spring sports season. We enrolled our middle child in t-ball. During the fall season, he participated in soccer. However, he spent 80% of the time on the sidelines with me. So we decided to let him try a different sport in hopes of finding something he enjoys. That was an epic fail. After 15 minutes of trying to convince him to partake in the sport, we decided to leave. That was the end of that. No more sports for him. On the way home, my husband and I were thinking about other things we can put him in. Karate perhaps, but that sport is sooooo expensive! But if he enjoys it, then we will spend the money. It is an investment. But it is not the sport that is the problem, it is him. My son is very strong-willed, very high-strung kind of kid. He does not like being told what to do, when to do it or how to do it. He plays very well outside in our backyard, but you put him out on the field and tell him to perform, he will not do it. Everything is on HIS time. So I feel at a loss for options. I have anxiety about his future. I am so worried that he will never get into an extracurricular activity, therefore not reaping the benefits of being involved.
As I mentioned yesterday, this week is my deload week. I am going easy on my workouts and allowing myself a few extra calories. I have even decided to take a break this weekend as part of my deload week. Let me tell you, I have a lot of anxiety about this. I have a lot of negativity going through my brain; I am throwing all my hard work down the drain, I am going to gain back every single pound, I am not going to get back on track, etc. I am so scared that this deload week is going to lead me to fail altogether.
As you can see, it is only 10:51 am and I already have lots of anxieties. It never lets up. I am always worried about every aspect of my life. I have learned that worrying is a sin because it keeps me from trusting in God, and trusting Him to work things out. Trust me, I want to let it all go and trust Him. That would ease my mind and my heart. But there goes that control freak in me. Not wanting to let it go completely. But here is God, telling me to let it go.
When something in my life or thoughts make me anxious, go to Him and talk about it. Bring Him my prayer and petition with thanksgiving. Though the lessons of trust that He sends me are wrapped in difficulties, the benefits far outweigh the cost. Well-developed trust will bring me many blessings. He promises to keep me in perfect peace if I just trust in Him.
Philippians 4:6; Isaiah 26:3
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