As I lay in bed this morning, I realize that something that once was called obedience somehow rephrased itself to obligation. There I was, soaking my pillow with tears, not understanding why I was still having problems, even though I felt like I was being obedient to God. But the things God has called me to do, I once did with a cheerful heart, but now it seems as if I just added it to my checklist of things to do. I also realized that I had replaced my intimate time with God with those acts of obedience, thinking they were the same thing. But even at this stage of life, I realize that I need God. That my intimate relationship with Him cannot be replaced. That is where I go to bare my heart. To cast all my cares and worries. To present my requests with thanksgiving. To worship and praise Him. I am not in continual communication with Him if I neglect my quiet time. That act of obedience should surpass them all.
Continue on this path with Me, enjoying My presence even in adversity. I am always before you, as well as alongside you. I am everywhere at every time, ceaselessly working on your behalf. That is why your best efforts are trusting Me and living close to Me.
Hebrews 7:25; Psalm 37:3-4
Tomorrow is my weigh day. I am worried that I have gained. But after talking to a couple of people about deloading, I have learned that it is beneficial in the long-term, even if you gain in the short-term. My friend has even said that during weeks when she gives herself an extra 100 calories per day, she loses more that week than any other week. So if I gain tomorrow, it's okay because I know that I will continue losing. What is one week out of a lifetime. Besides, I will have more of these weeks to come because I know that I need to make deloading a part of my journey. So instead of worrying, I need to enjoy these breaks. I have come a long way, and I am not about to let one week ruin all that I have worked hard for. I never want to go back to the place I was. God is transforming me, one day at a time.
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