A Great Day...Yesterday

Yesterday was a great day! Not only was I not sick ALL DAY, but I was able to keep down every meal. I thought things were looking up for me until today. Now I'm back to bonding with the toilet. So it's official. Our wedding date has changed from September 10th to September 3rd, thanks to my menopausal mother. But I really don't mind...except for the fact that Melanie and Rick (Jeremy's mom and stepdad) got married on that day. I guess it's not a big deal, but it's still creepy that our wedding anniversary will be the same as theirs. But there is nothing that can be done about it now since all the tickets are bought for my family to fly down September 2nd. So there is no turning back...LOL. I am so excited! I am going home July 22nd. I miss my family and friends and I can't wait to see them all again. I'm more excited about sleeping in and not having to go to work. Lately, I can't seem to get up to go to work and I keep coming in later and later. I gotta stop or else I might get fired. But I CANNOT seem to get up and if I try to get up before 8 am, I get so dizzy. School starts next week. It's been such a great past couple of weeks without having to study or attend classes till 10 at night. Usually, we start the new term the following week, but DeVry decided to be generous and give us three weeks off for the summer. I am not looking forward to school when I start getting bigger because DeVry still uses those desks where the seat is connected to the desk and I probably won't fit into them...LOL. Maybe I'll start taking more online classes. Anyway, I'm going to try and eat my salad for lunch. Let's hope I keep it down.

Tagged

Well, I've been tagged by Kari, so here goes...

Three nicknames: Ju-Ju-Bee, Hubbas, Tubbas

Three things I like about myself: My caring nature, my ambition, my jokes (yes, I laugh at my own jokes...LOL)

Three things that scare me: Being tortured, being alone in the house (at night), the basement (I'm such a baby...LOL)

Three everyday essentials: Prenatal vitamin, a glass of milk, a shower

Three things I'm wearing right now: Engagement ring, promise ring, pajamas

Three fave bands growing up: In no particular order - NKOTB, Backstreet Boys, All For One

2 truths and a lie: I'm excited about my soon to be family, I LOVE chinese food, I am tall

Three things I can't do without: My family, Jeremy, my friends

Three things I can certainly live without: Traffic, getting sick, chores

Three places I want to go on vacation: Africa, Japan, Fiji

Three things I want to do before I die: Sky-dive, have a career, learn to swim

I'm tagging three people: Nikki, Kit, Mary

Reassurance

You know, I was just reading my past couple of blogs and it seems like all I'm doing is bitching. I'm sorry. I know it's probably not pleasant to read negative thoughts. I promise to be more positive and really, I'm not a bitchy person. I guess it's my hormones =)
I promise to be more optimistic so that my blogs are funnier to read. Hope yall come back now!

Scared

Ok I'm scared. I was reading on Week 8 and it says that this week is the most critical and I should be careful of what I eat and drink. But I am just not in the mood to eat ANYTHING. All I had today was a granola bar, a can of pears and some crackers. I went upstairs to the cafe to eat something with a co-worker and seeing her food made me sick. Even thinking about eating real food makes me run to the bathroom. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?! I know everyone says they go through this stage in the first trimester and I know the baby will get whatever it needs from me, but I just can't help but fear that I am starving my baby. I feel like I'm being a bad parent already. I know I should force something down my throat, but it just comes right back up. Even the smell of ANYTHING makes me sick. Maybe it is because I am CRAVING Korean food. Maybe I'll buy some and see if I can eat it. Maybe my appointment next Thursday will reassure me that everything is fine. I hope so. If anything is wrong, I could never live with myself thinking I starved it to death.

Wedding Blues

To catch people up to date, my mother wants us to move the wedding date to September 3, 2005 because that is Labor Day weekend and my mother wants to have a three day weekend so that she can have one day to rest before my parents open up shop. It all depended on the photographer so we gave him a call and he couldn't tell us till the end of this month because he had a meeting with a lady on 6/25/05 who wants September 3. Well, he called last night to let us know he has September 3 available. So I called my mom to let her know, but it all depended on my two cousins, who are in the wedding, because they already took the tenth off from work and they are not sure if they can switch it to the third. Well my mom had a freak attack. She said I was being selfish and if I cared more about my two cousins coming instead of her, I can keep it the tenth and she just won't come. She is being such a BITCH! I mean I love her, but she is being so selfish about the whole thing. I mean it's my damn wedding. Jeremy is so fed up with her making it her wedding and stressing me out, especially since I'm pregnant. I mean, my mother and I fight so badly that I'm sure my neighbors can hear me screaming. I just end up hanging up on her, like I did last night. She calls me back and leaves me this nasty message. And what I hate the most is when she says, don't yell because your baby will have the same attitude as you and it's like then stop making me so annoyed. So I just told her that if Linda and Jin (cousins) can't come, then she will just have to refund their bridesmaids dresses. But it's not even about the dresses. If Linda and Jin can't come, then I'm just going to have one bridesmaid while Jeremy has three groomsmen. UGH! I can't believe my mother! I just want to elope and just make her pissed off. She would HATE it if I just went and got married...LOL. Then she offers to buy me a plane ticket home for the Fourth of July. HELL NO! If I'm face to face with her, I can't just hang up on her so NO THANK YOU! I'm not going to go home until she gets whatever she has up her butt out. The only reason I would want to go home right now is because I miss my sister and my friends and I miss Korean food. I mean I can buy some from Farmers Market, but it's not the same as my mom's cooking. She's the BEST at cooking Korean food. That's the only compliment I'll give her right now!

Malnutritious?

So lately I haven't wanted to eat. Everything makes me sick. The only thing I have been eating the past few days are crackers, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and ramen noodles. I still drink my glass of milk a day and take my prenatal vitamin, even though I throw it up five minutes later. I have been addicted to gingerale though. I drink it all the time at work because I'm naseous and they say gingerale tames it (but not for me). I don't know if I am giving enough (or any for that matter) nutrition to my baby. I'm scared I'm scarving it or giving it junk. I feel like I'm being a bad mother already. But I don't know what to do. I don't want to eat. If it wasn't for the intense hunger I feel sometimes or knowing I have to feed a baby, I wouldn't eat at all. What's wrong with me?

Miserable

I feel like I am not eating healthy enough for my baby. Not only do prenatal vitamins make me nauseous and I just end up throwing them up, but I have a big distaste for meat (a big source of protein). Lately, I just haven't been able to eat anything. I just feel so nauseous all day that all I want to do is either sit by the toilet or go to sleep. I heard morning sickness goes away around the 15th week (which means I have 7 more weeks of this), but with my luck, I'll have it until the 9th month. I want to stop feeling sick and start enjoying my pregnancy. I even told Jeremy that this will be our only child. I'm complaining now, but I'm sure once I hold my angel in my arms, it will all be worth it. I have my first ultrasound on July 7th. Maybe seeing the ultrasound will make me feel good.

My Menopausal Mother

So I called my mother to tell her we might move the wedding date closer because I might not be able to fit into my dress in September. We were thinking of July 30 or August 6. Why did she tell me I was being selfish and not thinking about them or their business. So I told her she was being selfish. I am their first daughter and my first and only wedding and she can't close the shop down not even for a day. So we got into this huge fight that resulted in me hanging up on her. My sister called me shortly after telling me our mother has been so bitchy later. I really think she is going through menopause. My dad is more understanding and he called and said if I ever had to talk about the wedding, just to call him. He knows everytime me and my mom talk, we just end up fighting. So now they want me to change the wedding to the 3rd of September because that is Labor Day weekend and they want that extra day before they have to open up shop again. I don't mind doing that, but it all depends on the photographer. He has a meeting at the end of this month with a lady who is getting married on that day. If she likes his work, which I'm sure she will, then that day will be taken. If that is the case, we will keep it the tenth. We might as well because Linda already took the time off of work and I would hate for people to alter their plans AGAIN. It's bad enough I went back and forth about the wedding and now the date. What will people think of me. Anyway, I just took this new sample prenatal vitamin and it made me throw up everything I ate today so I'm going to try to sneak a nap at work.

Officially Pregnant

After this past weekend, I can safely say that I am pregnant. I have been puking up a storm. I don't know what it was, but this past weekend was the first time I experienced morning, afternoon and night sickness. At first I contemplated as to why I started getting morning sickness and so I decided to do a test. Friday and Saturday morning, I ate a real breakfast. Usually, I just have time for a granola bar on the way to work. On Sunday, I just ate a granola bar and I was fine all day. I came to the conclusion that if I eat real breakfast, like eggs and sausage, I don't feel good ALL DAY. I vomit all day which leads to this migraine that just makes me want to drive a knife through my head. If I just eat crackers or granola bars, I'll be fine. So I guess I'll save the real food for the afternoon. I wish I could stay home during the first few months of my pregnancy. All I feel like doing is laying in bed and sleeping all day. I have no energy to do anything. I don't even feel like working out, which I should be doing if I want to fit into my wedding dress. I am worried that I'll be too big (fat and pregnant) to fit into my wedding gown. But we'll see how it turns out!

Title Change

So I decided to change my blog title from A Wedding Story to A Wedding/Baby Story. I figured since this blog will contain my steps to becoming a wife and a mother, I would change the title to fit my blogs. I can't believe I'm going to be a wife and a mother within five months of each other. It seems like everything came all at once, but Jeremy and I are both very excited about our future together. It's so cute to see Jeremy all worried about the baby. This morning I was up, as usual, and I rolled over in bed and Jeremy woke up and said, "are you on your stomach? You can't be on your stomach" and I assured him that I wasn't. I'm still having a hard time with picking out a name. I know I said I would name it Jaelyn if it's a girl, but now I'm not sure. I have always like the name Alexa and I've always wanted to name my little girl that, but when I heard Jaelyn I changed my mind. Now I'm changing my mind again. I don't know though. I am leaning more towards Alexa, but I really want a name that is original and I think Jaelyn is very original. Watch me have a boy. I haven't even thought about a boy's name. Taylor thinks we are having a girl. Jeremy really wants a girl and a part of me wants a girl too. But no matter what sex it is, it will have so much love it won't know what to do with it. I can't wait to find out what we are going to have. I'm so excited!

Sleepless in Georgia

I don't know if it's because I am pregnant or because I am not allowed to sleep on my stomach, but for the past week, I haven't been able to sleep. Don't get me wrong, when we go up to bed, I pass out, but I end up waking up in the middle of the night WIDE AWAKE. I can't seem to go back to sleep, so I end up staring at the ceiling for the remaining three hours until I have to get up and get ready for work. I hate that I am not getting my usual 6-8 hours of sleep. Hopefully it will get better as the pregnancy progresses, but I have a feeling it will get worse. I still haven't experienced much morning sickness (thank the Lord), and I've actually been feeling great. I think I even look prettier (not to be vain) because I am pregnant. I'm probably just glowing. Anyway, I just wanted to express my frustration as to my sleepless nights. I need to figure out what I can do to sleep longer.

My First Night

So last night was the first night I spent knowing I was pregnant. Therefore, I couldn't sleep in my favorite position, my stomach. So I tossed and turned all night. Being on my back was very uncomfortable and laying on my side was kind of uncomfortable. I have been sleeping on my stomach for 25 years so changing that was really hard. I did not get a wink of sleep. Maybe three hours, if that. It was so uncomfortable that I was thinking about getting up and sleeping on the couch, sitting up. I have a feeling I am not going to sleep well for the next nine months. But I guess that comes with being pregnant, along with the hot sweats and being nauseas all day. But in the end, it will all be worth it. I don't know if this is surprising or if I should have expected it, but Jeremy is being more of a worry wart than I am. In the middle of the night I became so hungry, so I went to the kitchen and got a granola bar. As I am eating it in bed, Jeremy wakes up and asks me, "are you allowed to eat that?" (we have been reading magazines where it tells me what to eat and what to avoid) and I tell him I think it is fine. Then I had my laptop on my lap and he asks me, "are you allowed to have that so close to your stomach?" I'm not too sure on that one, but I figure since I am only a minute pregnant, I should be alright, but from now on, I will have it on a table instead of my lap. Being pregnant makes me feel so different. I can't explain it, but it does. But it's a good feeling and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

An Unexpected Surprise

Ok so I had an appoinment for my yearly pap smear this morning and why did I come out of the office carrying a baby bag with tons of baby magazines and prenatal vitamins? Because I am PREGNANT!!! I can't believe it. It was a total shock. After getting weighed, the nurse asks me if my last menstrual cycle was May 3. I answer yes, but I informed her that I should be getting my cycle again soon because my breasts were tender and I was experiencing cramps. Well, she wanted to take a pregnancy test just in case and it turns out that I am pregnant. I immediately started balling my eyes out. I was so happy and excited. I was shaking terribly though. After the appointment, I surprise Jeremy at his office and tell him the good news. He was stressed out at first because of the financial responsibility that goes with a child, but afterwards he became very excited. After announcing it to the guys at the office, I decided to start on my list of people to call. I was very nervous about calling my parents (they are so old fashion), but they were okay with it considering Jeremy and I are getting married in three months. However, I can tell in my mom's tone that she wanted me to finish school first. But I assured her that I will not quit and I will graduate. My dad is joking around telling me that he doesn't want to be a grandpa. He will feel too old..LOL. I am so excited. I can't believe I am going to be a wife in just a matter of a few months and then a mom a few months after that. It is going all too fast so I want to slow down and enjoy everyday and every moment. I am already starting to become a worry freak. I am trying to digest everything I read so I don't eat the wrong thing or do the wrong thing to hurt my pregnancy. I can already feel some of the pregnancy symptoms like fatigue and laziness, but then again, I've always been lazy..LOL. I have my next appointment on July 7. Jeremy will be with me for that one. The doctor told me that during that appointment, she will do an ultrasound. I am not that far along. Maybe two weeks. The doctor told me I am a minute pregnant..LOL. Jeremy and I are both hoping for a girl. Jeremy wants a girl because he is not ready to devote his entire time with a boy. For example, teaching him sports and all the manly stuff he needs to know and I want a girl because I already have a name picked out, Jaelyn or Jaelin (can't decided which way to spell it..I think I like "lyn" because it looks more feminine than "lin"). Jeremy prefers Lexis, but I've been wanting to name my little girl Jaelyn for the longest. But whatever the sex of the baby is, we will love it with all of our heart and soul. The middle name will be Korean. I will have to consult with my mom for a Korean name though. I am so excited. I can't tell you how I am feeling. All I can say is that it is wonderful!

The Countdown

We have about 3 months left till the wedding. I'm really stressed out because the pastor at the Church we are getting married at is being difficult. He is not allowing us to remove the communion table and he is suggesting that we have the reception on the parking lot. I think we are going to move the reception to the Modavi Restaurant. I'm also stressing out because lately, I have been gaining weight. I need to get back on my dieting plan and work out everyday during my lunch hour. If I don't lose any weight, I probably won't fit into my wedding gown. Tomorrow is going to be my first day of living healthy. I'm going to eat right and work out everyday. I have exactly 3 months to work out and lose around 15 pounds. We'll see how dedicated I am though. But I've got to do something. Our wedding is just around the corner. This summer is going to fly by so fast. This past weekend was Payton's, Jeremy's cousin, bridal shower. This weekend is my friend Gargi's engagement party, June 25 is Jacqueline's, Jeremy's cousin, wedding, July 9 I am throwing a bridal shower for my friend Jill (I'm her maid of honor), July 15 is Payton's wedding, I'm going home sometime in the end of July, and August 27 is Jill's wedding. I can't believe how fast this summer is going to fly. I can't believe I'm going to be a wife in a few months. I'm getting anxious and nervous as days go by. I'll post updates on my road to weight loss.