Be Still

At ladies bible study yesterday, our teacher asked us to share one goal we had in life.  One of the ladies had shared that her goal for right now is to rest.  To be still, and not feel like she needs to constantly be doing something.  Last night I was talking to my sister-in-law, and I shared with her my anxieties about sending my last child to preschool; therefore, having three mornings to myself.  What should I do?  Should I find a part-time job?  Should I find something to dive myself into?  What do I need to do to fill up that time?  And my sister-in-law told me I can do all the things I am currently doing, but without kids.  I can exercise without someone needing something.  I can catch up on a movie without interruptions.  Or I can just rest and be still.

It never occurred to me that I was so focused on filling up my time because I did not want to be judged for being a stay-at-home mom, but with no kids to take care of.  I did not want people to think I was lazy, selfish or just did not want my kids around.  I did not want people to start judging me, or giving me ideas of what I should do with my time.  I've been asking God for discernment and guidance.  He has blessed me with time next year, and I want to use it the way He intends me to.  I wanted to start my day off with a devotional, and God met me there.

Stop judging and evaluating yourself, for this is not your role.  Above all, stop comparing yourself with other people.  This produces feelings of pride or inferiority.  I lead each of My children along a path that is uniquely tailor-made.  Therefore, comparing is meaningless.  Don't look for affirmation in the wrong places.  The only source of real affirmation is My unconditional love.  

Luke 6:37; John 3:16-17; Isaiah 61:10; Proverbs 3:11-12

Some ladies go back to work when all their children go off to school.  I am not saying I will never work again, but my heart is at home.  God has put that desire in my heart for a reason.  Growing up my parents were never there because they worked all the time.  I want to do the opposite.  I want to be there for every event; every party, every book fair, every game, every gymnastics meet.  My oldest child has been begging me to be "room mom" since she started school.  Well next year I will have the time to be "room mom", and I will do just that.  My job as a mom never ends, no matter how old or what grade my children are in.  My path in life has been specifically paved for me, by God.  Who am I to question His decision.  "Be still and know that I am God"  Psalm 46:10.

In other news, I weighed today instead of tomorrow.  My friend has informed me that I needed to deload for a week every so often.  So today is my day off, and for the next week I am just strictly walking without the intense workouts.  It will be good for my body.  My body has been screaming for rest, but I have been really pushing myself.  I figure the harder I go, the faster I'll lose, right?  But this journey is a lifelong journey.  I am not going to stop once I reach my goal weight.  So I am going to get there slow, healthy and safe.  So the result of my weigh in...down 2 pounds!