God's Will

Today's blog post is going to be a little different.  I am going to come out of my comfort zone, and be totally transparent.  Not that I haven't been, but this post is a little about my life instead of my thoughts or feelings.  With that said, marriage is one of the hardest things I have had to work at.  There's so much give and take, compromising, ups and downs, and when you've got insecurities, it feels like you are failing at making it flow smoothly.  Lately I have been struggling with putting my priorities first above my marriage.  I am so consumed with my new life of working out, devotional blogging and going to bed at a decent hour, that I neglect quiet time with my husband.  Oftentimes, I leave him watching television in the living room, so I can go to bed to make sure my body gets the full 8 hours of sleep.  In the end, how does a skinny, well-rested body serve me well if my marriage is down the toilet because I do not know how to balance my selfish priorities with God's priorities.  And this is what God tells me today.

Come to Me with all your weaknesses.  Rest in the comfort of My presence, remembering that nothing is impossible with Me.  Pry your mind away from your problems so you can focus your attention on Me.  Recall that I am able to do more than all you ask or imagine.  Instead of trying to direct Me to do this and that, seek to attune yourself to what I am already doing.  When anxiety arises, remind yourself that I am your Shepherd.  I am taking care of you, so you need not be afraid of anything.  Rather than trying to maintain control over your life, abandon yourself to My will.  The safest place to be is in My will.
Luke 1:37; Ephesians 3:20-21; Psalm 23:1-4

I need to stop trying to take control over everything.  I need to have different motives to the things I am doing.  What good is all this if I am not letting it change me on the inside.  Change is about putting aside all my selfish priorities, selfish intentions, selfish motives and putting others first.  To do things because it is God's will for my life, not my will.  I need to get off the high horse, humble myself, and put God where He rightly belongs.  I am done trying to be perfect, trying to make my life perfect, trying to let my insecurities build a protective wall around myself.  I want to be free to love, to not worry, to just move on.  Move on knowing that as long as I am in God's will, I will be protected and that He will take care of us, no matter how badly I think it is.  That is just Satan playing mind tricks on me, but I am in a safe place.  I am in God's will.