First Birthday

So yesterday we celebrated Alexa's first birthday. Her birthday was actually the 29th, but we had her party yesterday. We only invited the immediate family because our apartment is small, but it was very nice. Her theme was flowers and butterflies. It worked out great like that because that was the theme of her nursery in our old house. She was a bit cranky because she did not feel too well. The day before, she went for her first year checkup and received three shots, so she was running a fever and with my mom catering to her every need, she is very spoiled! Anyway, we ate, opened presents and had cake. Alexa did not go too crazy with the cake. She put her fingers in it, but just looked at her fingers. I had to put her fingers in her mouth, but even then she really did not eat it. Here are a few pictures from the party.





















I bought Alexa a tiara that says 1 on it. She looked so cute with it on! That's me, my sister, my mom and birthday girl.





















In Korea, it's a tradition for kids and adults to wear these outfits during special occasions like weddings and birthdays. Since first birthdays are considered as a special occasion, my mother bought Alexa an outfit and she wore it (just for pictures).





















Me and my birthday princess.

My SIL helped me put together a slideshow that shows Alexa from birth to now. It came out so great. The only thing that didn't work right is the song we downloaded for the show. It was protected and we were not allowed to use it. So we used Kenny Chesney's Me and You. It came out so well! Everything turned out great!

In other news...we bought a house! So excited to get out of this tiny apartment. We converted the dining room into Alexa's play room because she got so many toys for Christmas and her birthday. In the new house, there is a bonus room that we are going to turn into a play room. I can't wait to move in. Hope everyone had a great Christmas and a Happy New Year!

What a Bully

I love watching Alexa grow into her own little person. She is starting to form a personality of her own and I am just falling more deeply in love with her each time she shows me a different part of her. Yesterday I picked her up from daycare and I noticed a scratch underneath her right eye. I'm pretty good at keeping up with her nails, so I know she didn't scratch herself. When I read her daily report card, I saw that she got into her first fight. This morning I talked to the teacher about it and she told me her and Maddie (a girl about her age) were fighting over a walker. Everytime Maddie would be walking around with it, Alexa will crawl over to her and get up on the walker and try to push it and push Maddie away. Then Maddie would do the same to Alexa. Then Alexa got into another fight with Max, another baby around her age, and that's who she received that scratch from. She is such a bully! Her sweet face sure does hide it well though doesn't it.




































These pictures are from a few months back, but are some of my favs.

Bath Buddy

Man...I am so bad at keeping my blog up to date. So today, I was giving Alexa a bath. I usually let her play with her bath toys for awhile before lathering her up. Well, I ran to the kitchen for something and when I came back to the bathroom, guess what I saw in the tub with her....POO! I was completely grossed out. Thankfully, it was one long poo instead of many little chunks. My wonderful husband was kind enough to pick it up with toilet paper after the tub was drained. I think I would have either passed out or threw up if I had to do it. YUCK!

In other news, miss Alexa took two steps last week all by herself. She really is growing up way too fast. When she was first born, the doctors told me she would be behind because she was born 6 weeks premature, but she is advancing well for her age. I'm so proud of her! She has also started picking up food and eating all by herself. She loves to eat...just like her mommy!

In just a matter of days, Alexa will have a brand new cousin. My SIL Taylor is being induced tomorrow with her second child! We're all so excited. Can't wait to see what this little man is going to look like. I can't wait till Alexa gets to be the age where she can play with her cousins...actually I can wait. She is growing up way too fast...hehe.

Plans have changed...I am no longer going home to visit my parents this month. I am actually going to in the middle of January. It's better this way because Jeremy is going to Arizona for work and I wasn't thrilled about staying home by myself and Alexa for the whole week, so I'll be in CT with my parents.

More updates to come and some pictures!

I'm So Excited, And I Just Can't Hide It...

I am so excited!!! Alexa and I planned a trip up to CT the week before Christmas and then we are flying back down with my mom and sister. My sister is staying until New Years so we can party together and my mom is leaving the day before Jeremy's birthday, in January. I have not partied with my sister since she turned 21, now she is 22, so that will be fun. The three of us have a special bond, so I cannot wait to spend all that time with them! I also cannot wait for the four of us (mom, sister, Alexa, and I) to spend some real quality time with each other.

On a sad note, I want to ask all of you to pray for my father. He has bacteria in his ulcer that will turn into cancer if it doesn't go away. He has been taking medication, but said that he isn't feeling any better. I don't know what I would do if he is no longer with us. You know, you never think about your parents leaving. You think your parents are always going to be there, but when reality hits, it hits hard. Even though I'm a wife and mother, I still feel like a little child depending on her parents for everything. If my father leaves, who can I depend on. Please keep him in your prayers. Thank you.

Pictures!!!

Daddy and his little girl














Mommy and Alexa
















Look I can sit up!
















Watch me crawl!

I'M BACK!!!

I have to say, after a long break my fingers are well rested and my mind is full of stories. I have to say that I actually missed blogging and missed reading everyone elses. I also miss recording what I have been up to and how fast Alexa is growing up on me. I read back on my old entries and regret that I didn't keep up with it. Alexa has reached so many milestones since I stopped blogging and I didn't even take the time to write about them. Can you believe she is 9 months?! Where has the time gone. She certainly has grown into her own little person. People are telling me she is looking more like Jeremy everyday.

A lot has gone on since I wrote my last entry. We sold our house in August and now living in an apartment. Apartment life is okay except that we live on the second floor so that tends to be a pain in my ass whenever I've gone grocery shopping. Jeremy and I just celebrated our first year anniversary and we just came back from a cruise to the Bahamas and Key West. It was a ton of fun. My mother came down from CT that week to watch Alexa and now Alexa is spoiled to death. I am trying to break some of the things my mother as done such as rocking her to bed every night.

Alexa is now crawling, pulling herself up and has two teeth on the bottom. She is constantly on the move and won't let me relax for a minute. I can't even eat in peace. Well I am at work and this is all I can do for now, but I promise once I get home, I will put up some pictures. Glad to be back!

Goodbye My Friends

I've decided that I am going to stop blogging. I just have no time to keep my blog updated and instead of just disappearing off the face of the planet, I thought I'd write my last entry. I want to thank everyone for their wisdom, advice and friendship. This blog has definitely given me a place to vent all my frustrations. I'll keep tabs on y'all once in awhile, and hopefully I can get back to the blogging world. Good luck to you and God bless.

Hating It, But Loving It All At The Same Time

I hate that Jeremy and Alexa are in Florida and I am stuck home working all week. I hate that I come home to an empty house. I miss them soooo much. I cannot wait till they come home. On the other hand, I am loving the fact that I can come and go as I please. I don't have to wait for Jeremy to get home so I can run to the store real quick or having to wake up at 5 in the morning to feed Alexa.

They are having a great time down there. Jeremy was thinking about coming home early because he thought it was too hot for Alexa, but said she is doing extremely well. He took her out to the ocean and she cried because it was too cold. I hate that I am missing my daughter's first beach experience, but we will be taking a mother-daughter trip in July. We are going up to CT to visit my parents. I am extremely excited about that. My parents cannot wait to see her!

This past Saturday, I went to a fair with a friend. At the fair, there were tons of booths that sold personalized baby stuff. I bought a canvas with Alexa's name painted on it for her front door; a butterfly with two ribbons hanging from the wings for her hair bows, also with her name painted on it; a pink growth chart; a puzzle that spells out Alexa so that we can teach her how to spell her name; and a onesie that reads "Handmade By God". I can't wait till Jeremy gets home so that he can hang up all that stuff for me.

Hope everyone had a great Monday!

All By Myself

Tomorrow Jeremy is taking Alexa with him on a trip to Florida with his mom and stepdad. I can't go since I am taking a week off in July to go visit my parents, so I will be all alone without the both of them until next Saturday. I don't know what I am going to do with myself. I guess just relax and catch up on sleeping. I have been extremely busy. I switched positions at work and this job demands a lot of time. I am more busy than I have ever been. I feel like I don't ever have time anymore to just sit and enjoy a minute to myself. I've either got laundry to do, dinner to cook, Alexa to feed, homework to do, the list never ends. I feel like it is all catching up to me and it is kicking me in the ass.

This Saturday I am going to a fair with a friend. They sell personalized stuff and I plan on getting some things for Alexa's room. I can't wait. It's going to be fun. Alexa has started on rice cereal and it's going well. She has been drooling like a mad baby, so maybe she is going to start teething. I can't believe she is already five months old. She is growing up so fast. Anyway, I thought I'd drop a line, but I really need to get some sleep. Until next time.

How Rude!

Sometimes I don't understand why people say the things they say. I don't understand why people think they can say incredibility rude things to people they don't know. My friend and I went out to lunch yesterday. While we are being sitted, two older woman who were sitting at a table next to us turns around and looks at Alexa. They keep looking at her and smiling. As they are getting up to leave, one of them comes up to me and asks me if she can gawk at my baby. I said sure. She has the audacity to say you must starve her. She is dwindling down to nothing. I was astonished!!! Before I can get a word in, she says she is a beautiful baby and walks away. I am not quite sure if I heard her correctly because the restaurant was so loud. However, my friend says, did she say what I think she said? So I guess I did hear correctly. The nerve of some people!

Anyway, after lunch, we head on over to the mall and while we were in Williams Sonoma, a lady asks if she can see Alexa. So I said sure and she looks into the stroller and says she's beautiful. Then she says to Alexa, you don't miss a meal do you? On a normal day, that would be a bit offending. Are you calling my baby a fatty? But this day I proceeded to thank her and told her what the other lady said. She commented on how rude people can be. I mean Alexa is four months old and weighs 13 lbs. My goodness. I think that she is very healthy. Anyway, even though it's not true and I don't starve my baby, that lady made me feel horrible. It made me question whether I'm a good mom and if people view me that way. I don't understand why people don't think before they speak.

Where Have You Been...Not That I Missed You

After three pregnancy tests and a checkup at the gyno to make sure I was alright, I finally got my cycle! I got it Friday night. I was so relieved to have gotten it! I went to the gyno last Tuesday to make sure I was okay, and the doctor gave me birth control pills to start my cycle. Well, I decided to hold off on them till Sunday and take goodness I did because I got it Friday. I really did not want to start the pill until I got my first cycle just to make sure they will going to work. I've always heard that you have to take it the Sunday after your cycle, but the doctor assured me that is not THE rule. But it doesn't matter because I feel like a woman again...LOL.

My precious Alexa is growing up. The pediatrician told me that I need to start her on a little bit of cereal. And to also give her a sippy cup just to experiment with. I probably won't start any of that until she is about five months though. She still acts like a newborn newborn, so I don't know if she is ready for all that...or maybe I'm just not ready =)

Hope everyone is having a great Monday and a great rest of the week!

Doctor Filled Day

Alexa had her appointment with the specialist today. He is so young looking. He must have just graduated from med school. The doctor concludes that Alexa has acide reflux. I explained to him that I have been giving her the dissolvable Prevacid. He told me they do not work and he prescribed me liquid Prevacid. Only certain pharmacies carry it. He also prescribed Miralax to relieve her of gas and give her daily stools. He said give it a MONTH to start working, but my friend (who referred me to this doctor) said it works in two weeks. I hope it's two weeks!

While I was waiting in the waiting room, I notice a mom with her daughter who had to be about nine years old. The mom was filling out paperwork while her daughter sat next to her. After filling out the first page, the mom takes a break and says something to her daughter. They laugh. Watching them, I cannot wait till the day Alexa and I can laugh together, tell stories and spend time together as mother and daughter.

Anyway, after the appointment with the specialist, I speed to the pediatrician's office for her four month checkup. She weighs 12 lbs. 5 oz. She is 23.5 inches. She is small for her age, but then again, she is a preemie. She has a clean bill of health. They give her four shots and this is the result of a doctor filled day (and the shots helped too):

Tour de Georgia

As of this weekend, I can officially say that I am an expert on the State of Georgia. I can tell you where each and every town lies in Georgia. On Friday, Taylor and I buckled up our girls and drove to Lake Hartwell to spend time with the grandparents. They rented a campground for the weekend so they could take their boat out. We ended up staying the night in their camper, along with our other SIL and her husband and Taylor's husband who came up after work. So needless to say, it was pretty tight inside the camper and we all did not get a good night's sleep.

On Saturday, I decided to leave before anyone else because I wanted to spend time with Jeremy. My other SIL gave me directions, but said she was unsure and to wait for her husband to get the correct directions. I wanted to leave right then because it was a little after 3 and if I left then, I could get home in time for Alexa's 5:00 feeding (I have to schedule my trips around Alexa's feeding schedule because there is nothing like a screaming baby in the back and nobody to calm her down). So I told her if I get lost, I can just pull over and ask for directions. How wrong was I?!?!

Not only did I get EXTREMELY (note the stress on the word) lost, but I couldn't find a single gas station for miles. I was on country roads with only one house per mile. I was also the only car on the road. I felt like I was in a scene of Children of the Corn. Anyway, I finally see an elderly couple walking in front of their house, so I pull over and ask for directions to the interstate. They had no clue what an interstate was! So I asked for the next town. Here's how the conversation went:

Me: Where is this road leading me? Is there a town coming up?

Woman to Man: Hmmmm, you know how we get to Kmart.

Me: Yes, Kmart. How do I get there?

Woman: Take a right.

Me: Okay, which right? What road?

Woman: You know, it's a right.

Well, thanks for clarifying for me, I wasn't sure which road to take...note a hint of sarcasm. So I proceed to drive endlessly on this deserted road and finally come to a small town. I stop by an antique store and ask the clerk how to get on the interstate. He told me the interstate was about 40 miles away. By this time, I have toured the whole top part of Georgia.

So finally I get on the interstate and it says Atlanta, 60 miles. WHAT?!?! So after driving about 30 miles, we come to a dead stop. There was a previous accident on the road and it was like a parking lot. So I got off the exit via an on-ramp (I was desperate) and come to a gas station. I ask the attendant if he knew the back roads to my destination and he says they will all be backed up because of this accident and it's best if I just hang out at his store for a couple of hours until the traffic dies down. Thanks but no thanks. So I ask this nice couple that were selling hot dogs and hamburgers in the parking lot and they tell me the way.

Meanwhile, all this time I am on the phone with my FIL getting directions. You see, the exit I got off of was in a town his mother lived in, so he was very familiar with the area (about time I got some luck). During this whole adventure, I was hysterically crying because I was lost, frustrated and scared. I hate getting lost and not knowing where I am going. Especially when I am in the country (and this was country country) and have no cell phone service. Plus, Alexa was crying from starvation and I was feeding her in the backseat in a ghetto (and I mean ghetto) gas station. And mind you, I was all alone.

Anyway, I finally made it home and I was relieved to see civilization. Now Jeremy knows why I don't want to move into the country. Especially after this adventure, I never want to hear country again!

Really Gonna Do It

This time it will be different. No more "well the last time I dieted." I am committed to not only losing weight, but to being a healthier me. No more hitting the gym just because I want to lose the twenty pounds I gained from pregnancy, but to overall live a healthier life. I want to live a long life to be there for my Alexa and to see her grow old. I am committed.

I won't be starting a weight loss blog because I won't be able to keep up with two blogs, so it will all just have to fit here. I promise, I will still update on my life and Alexa. About two weeks ago, I got a complimentary session with a personal trainer. He taught me a lot about how to eat and how to work out. I've also learned that I weighed 134 (I'm 5 feet tall) and 29% body fat. That body fat percentage puts me in the "poor" category. He said I need to be in the "great" category which is around 12%.

I am taking small steps. I am drinking a lot of water. Thankfully, I was never a soda drinking person. I am TRYING to eat right and not eat after a certain time at night. I have been very good at will power too. I have said no to fast food quite a few times last week and this week. That is a very big step for me since I LOVE fast food.

My long term goal is to lose 30 lbs. by September. September is our 1st year wedding anniversary and two weddings. Since April is coming to a close, I have about 5 months. That equals 6 lbs. per month. That seems like a lot, but if I work hard, I might be able to achieve it. If not, I'll still feel good about myself for living a healthier life.

Thanks to Linda, I have found this motivation within myself. Knowing that I am not the only one going through something makes it that much easier to stay focused. I am not alone.

Discovery

Have you ever discovered something about yourself that you didn't before? I've discovered that before I was pregnant, I was actually in good shape. I used to complain that I was fat, maybe I could have lost a couple of pounds, but I didn't look that bad. Now that I am 20 lbs. over my pre-pregnancy weight, I am looking back at my pre-pregnancy weight and thinking that is bikini material (well maybe a tankini). I look through my clothes everyday and think wow, I once fit into these....I will never again.

Being the weight I am now is very uncomfortable. I have rolls in places I never knew could have rolls and I don't move around as freely as I used to. This might sound all crazy to you, even to me. I mean it's not like I weigh 400 lbs., but this body is very different from what I am used to. I have been working out, but my next challenge is eating right and saying no to chinese food (my favorite). I hope to be back to my pre-pregnancy weight, but by that time comes, we will be ready for our next child. Then all that hard work just down the drain. But every time I look at Alexa and her sweet innocent face, I just realize that it's all worth it. I guess I'll just have to exercise for the rest of my life.

Happy Easter

Happy Easter! Thanks to Taylor, I can share Alexa's three month old pictures! Thanks for scanning it for me! I can't share the big canvas one because it's just too big to scan. Sorry! Maybe I will take a picture of it and try and post it, but I'm not too sure how it will look. I'll give it a try later.

Drawing a Blank

It seems like there is nothing for me to blog about these days. No exciting stories to tell, no funny jokes to share. My birthday went well. My husband took me to our favorite restaurant. It's a seafood restaurant and they have the best sushi! It never fails, but every time we go out to eat, Alexa cries. Either one of us is trying to console her or taking her outside because her cries get louder and louder.

We just got pictures back from Olan Mills. We got a huge canvas one where the background is a blown up picture of her (very faint) and then there is a sharp picture of her in a box on the left side of the canvas. She's naked in both of them, and the one in the box has a pink blanket over her. It looks really good. We are going to hang that one over the mantle.

As for my diet, I haven't lost a pound. I've been going to the gym a lot these past couple of days, but I cannot seem to say no to the foods I love. What's the point of working out if afterwards I'm going to eat a meal from McDonald's? I really need to focus and really devote myself to eating right and working out so that I can look good by September. Jeremy's cousin and my friend back home are both getting married in September, so I want to look good for that. That is my target.

Anyway, glad I am getting a three day weekend! Everyone have a great Easter!

It's My Birthday...

And I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want to...you would cry to if it happened to you! I'm now living the next quarter of my life...boo hoo!

Halfway There

In 6 days, I will be turning 26. I cannot believe a quarter of my life has passed. I am halfway to being over the top. Where has the time gone? What did I do these past 25 years?! It has gone by way too fast. Next thing you know, these next 25 years will past and I won't remember a damn thing about the last 50 years. All those years I wanted to grow up and be a grown up and life was just passing by too slow and here it is....26 years old. I know I know...people are probably reading this thinking what is she crazy?! She's not that old! But admit it...turning a year older does make you reminisce about the past and how young you used to be.

Alexa is doing much better now that I've changed her formula. She is hardly spitting up and is not crying like she used to. She has an appointment with a specialist at the end of April, so I'm hoping he will prescribe me the liquid Prevacid because the Prevacid she is on now does not dissolve very well in the water and therefore is not as effective.

Nothing else is going on in my life. Alexa and I will be taking a trip to CT to see my parents at the end of July and my dad just informed me that him, my mom and my sister will be coming down in December for Christmas and Alexa's 1 year birthday and my mom is going to stay for two weeks....I am so excited about that.

Bubba's Bling

Last night was one of the most memorable nights of my life. It all started out with Taylor and I taking our daughters to the mall to get their Easter pictures taken together. Now mind you, I thought this was going to take a few minutes because I mean, how hard can it be to take pictures of a 3 month old (who is always sleeping) and a 1 year old (who loves getting her pictures taken). Well all I can say is I've learned something last night...I WAS TOTALLY WRONG!

It started out with Taylor and I eating dinner at the food court. Alexa fell asleep in the stroller and I was praising the Lord above that she was passed out and will be through her pictures. Well I must have spoken a little louder than I should have because here is Alexa, MAD because I woke her up. Boy she sure has an attitude! So to let me know I pissed her off, she starts WAILING! Mind you people are all around me and I feel my cheeks growing red...LOL.

So we cruise around the mall thinking that the movement will calm her down. Wrong again. So we stop by Spencer's to buy her a paci. I didn't know they sold pacis, but apparently they do. And thank the Lord above again that these pacis are rated G. So after paying $10 for a paci (I almost fainted at the counter mind you when the girl told me the total), we headed to Penneys to get their pictures taken. This is what I get for not having a paci on hand...$10 and this...


Trying to get a perfect picture was a nightmare and afterwards, Taylor convinces me to go to Claire's to get Alexa's ears pierced. Now, I've always heard that a mother can feel a daughter's pain, but never really understood it until last night. Even though I really wanted to get Alexa's ears pierced, I was making up every excuse in the world not to because I personally couldn't handle it. I was even about to leave Claire's, but wanted to be there for my daughter if she needed me. So to sum up what happened last night at Claire's, here are a couple of pictures that will speak for themselves.

This is me biting Alexa's dress trying to calm my nerves.

This is Alexa screaming because the lady was dotting her ears. She kept on dotting the left ear crooked, so I took it upon myself to take the marker and dot it myself. I think I did a pretty good job at it too!

And finally...

So what did I learn last night? Let's recap...

1. Always have that paci even if I have to be sucking on it myself to have it on hand...

2. Note to self...spencer's sells pacis if desperate...

3. Thank the Lord above for the little things because I sure was praising him a lot last night...

4. Never assume...last night did not go as how I pictured it in my mind!

5. And lastly...never piss Alexa off!

The Same Old Me

So here we are at the end of March and I have made no changes to my eating habits or made an effort to hit the gym on a regular basis which is resulting in me going nowhere. I really need to stop making excuses and stop procrastinating and get my butt into a habit of eating healthy and working out. I have two weddings to attend in September and I intend to look good damn it. September is only six months away!

So an update on Alexa. She has acid reflux. She is just crying non-stop and spitting up her formula. The pediatrician prescribed Prevacid, but I don't think it's helping. A friend of mine has a child who had acid reflux the first year of his life and she had to take him to a specialist and get liquid Prevacid and change his formula, so we have an appointment with a specialist the end of April. It's so far away, but that was the earliest appointment he had. My friend said Alexa will be a totally different baby once we get the right formula and the liquid Prevacid. I sure hope so.

Alexa has just recently started to look at us and smile. Not a lot, but you can catch her at just the right moment looking at you and smiling. I sure hope she does it more often sometime soon because she looks so cute when she smiles.

Hope everyone is having a great Monday and have a great week!

Dr. Ju

So it seems as if this whole household needs to see a doctor. I took Alexa to the pediatrician today to make sure she is not cranky because she is hurting. The pediatrician concluded that her crankiness is due to colic. So she prescribed prevacid. Let's pray it works! My husband is not feeling too hot himself. He has a sore throat, cough and a headache. So it seems as if I must play doctor to the both of them.

Here are some pictures of Alexa.

And my favorite...it seems as if she is singing, but it's really her trying to suck on her hand.

Quick Note

This is just a quick note saying I am still here. It seems has if I am not posting often, but I just cannot find the time. Working, going to school and taking care of a now 3 month old is really taking its toll.

How does everyone like my new template? I figure now that almost all of my entries are about Alexa, I thought I would come up with a different title and template. Taylor actually came up with the name and did the template for me, so kudos to Taylor!

Alexa has been soooo cranky lately. I am beginning to think she has colic or something. She just cries and cries all day long. However, last night she did extremely well and slept through the night. I will post pictures as soon as I can find the time.

Where Are You?

So this Thursday will be 11 weeks since I've had Alexa and I've yet to have a menstrual cycle. Is that weird or what? Last week I took a pregnancy test and thankfully it came back negative. I just don't know why I haven't had my cycle yet. Will it ever come back?

Man I need to get back on my dieting and exercising routine. I always do this. I get so pumped up when I first start, and then I backslide. I don't know why I always do that. I want to lose this weight before summer comes so that we can take Alexa do the beach. I don't want to miss out on things because I don't want to get into a bathing suit.

There's nothing else that is going on my with life right now. I have school tomorrow...YUCK. I want a major makeover on my blog. Maybe SOMEBODY (you know who) can help me with that. Have a great week!

MIA

WOW! I can't believe I have been away for a whole month. I sure miss blogging and reading everyone else's. So why the long absence? Well, my laptop decided to burn out. Jeremy said having it on my lap just heats it up and does not let the fan that is underneath circulate air, so he said one night it was smoking and he had to take it apart and get the hard drive out so that we don't lose anything. As for Jeremy's computer, he had a virus on it and was not working for a long time, so he finally got his friend Steve to help him fix it. So now we have internet!!! I can finally live...LOL.

Well a lot has changed since the last time I posted. I got a new job, so I am back at work. Alexa has been going to Taylor's and it has been hard parting from him for so long, but at least I know she is in good hands. School has started this week, but I have not attended due to a death in the family. It is going to be hard next week going to school after working all day.

Alexa is getting so big. I can't believe how much she has grown. Last Friday we had naked pictures done of her, and I cannot wait to see them. She can lift her head up like a champ and she is just getting so big. Her 2 month checkup appointment leaves her at 9 lbs. 11 oz. and 20.5 inches long. She is just growing up too fast. Here are some latest pictures of her.

A New Month, A New Me

Since February 1, I have decided to change something about myself...my weight. Since February 1, I have been eating right and working out. I have been so focused and motivated. Why this sudden change? There are many reasons, but my main reason is because I hate standing in front of my closet for hours trying to find something to wear and always failing. I always complain that I have no clothes, but the real reason is that I can't fit into anything. The pregnancy weight I've added on doesn't help either.

There are also events that are coming up that is motivating me to work out. My birthday, the summer, and Jeremy's cousin's wedding and my friend's wedding in September. Hopefully I won't lose my focus and go back to my old self.

To help me stay focused and motivated, I am going to award myself. I want to lose 20 lbs., so when I lose half of it, I am going to buy myself an expensive watch that I really want from a jewelry store. When I lose the other half, I am going to treat myself to a shopping spree. I am excited about my new transformation. Hopefully I will stick to it.

A Month Ago

I can't believe that a month ago, I became a mom. A month ago, I felt a new kind of love that I have never felt before. I can't put into words how much I love this little girl, but I just love her. I can't believe a whole month has passed. Time sure flies when you are having fun.

Here's Alexa, a whole month old!

She's working on lifting her head. She is doing very well at it too.











And last by not least, the picture I've been waiting for. See, she likes to smile and laugh while sleeping and I've been wanting to take a picture of her doing it, but always missed my chance. Well today, I sat next to her for a good while with the camera to my eye in case she did it. The results...

Ouch!

Somebody once told me that the best time to cut an infant's nails is when they are asleep. That's when they are still and you are less likely to clip their skin. Well, I cut Alexa's nails about a week and a half after she was born, and I found it pretty easy. Today after her bath, she fell asleep. I took this opportunity to give her nails a trim. I felt confident and less nervous this time around because I have done it once successfully. I was on my last finger when all of a sudden, she flinched and started to cry. Once I calmed her down, I went back to that finger and realized that I cut her skin. It started to bleed, not much, but enough to make me feel so awful.

She had her month old checkup appointment today. Guess how much she weighs...6 lbs 14 oz! I can't believe it. I can't believe she is almost 7 lbs. I figured she gained weight because her face looks a little chubbier and she has a double chin now, but I wasn't for sure. The doctor said she looks great and very healthy.

In a month, she will go back to get her second round of the hepatitis shot. We will see how that goes!

Baaaaaa

This is so cute that I have to share with everyone...

While Alexa is asleep, she will once in awhile baaa like a sheep. She literally sounds like a sheep when she does that. It is just too cute.

Over the weekend, I met one of my fellow blogger friends, Diana at Tristyn's birthday party. It felt like I have known her forever, even though it was my first time meeting her. She is as sweet and as beautiful as her blog portrays her. I also had the privilege of meeting her daughter Destiny, who is so adorable and so well mannered.

Well I'm going to go spend some more time with Alexa. I'll leave with you my favorite picture...

Almost a Week

So it's been almost a week now that my mom has been gone. It was hard the first couple of days, but I have gotten into a bit of a routine and it is not that hard to get up in the middle of the night anymore. Alexa is doing great. She is still eating like a champ...drinking 3 oz. in less than 30 minutes. I have decided to stop with the breast milk. I know I should probably stick with it, but it is very stressful and it takes a lot out of me to pump every 3 hours. I have been trying everyday to nurse Alexa, but she isn't getting what she needs and is too tired afterwards to take a bottle as a supplement, so I decided to quit. I do not pump as often as I used to, so now Alexa is being fed formula every other feeding. Soon it will go down to just formula. I'm just waiting for my milk supply to decrease. I tried the best that I could and maybe I could have tried a little harder, but I just don't have the energy anymore.

I am also in search of a new job. I am tired of traveling to Midtown everyday and especially with Alexa here, I want to be closer in case of emergencies. Speaking of going back to work, my friend, who was suppose to watch Alexa when I go back to work, informed me today that she no longer can't because a parent that she is currently working for are having another baby. Therefore, she has no room for Alexa since she does not have a license. I wish I could stay home, but we can't afford to. We do have someone in mind though...you know who you are.

Well, wish me luck on finding a new job!

Birthday Wishes!

Birthday wishes go out to my favorite niece Tristyn.

Happy Birthday! Can't wait to see you at your birthday party!

2.5 Weeks

Here is Alexa at 2.5 weeks old!

My mom went home yesterday. Today is my first day alone with her. I don't quite have a routine going with her, but I will figure one out. It is nice though spending this quality time with her...just us. She doesn't cry at all unless I am taking too long getting her bottle warmed up or taking too long changing her diaper. She's so impatient! But she sounds so cute when she is crying. Well she's waking up and it's almost time for her to eat, so let me go!

First Doctor's Appointment

Today was Alexa's first doctor's appointment. It went extremely well. She gained 7 oz. and is an ounce over her birth weight. She shrunk an inch though. When she was born, she was 19 in. and now she is 18 in. I think it's because her conehead went down a lot since she was born. The pediatrician said that since she was gaining a good amount of weight, I don't have to wake her up every three hours at night to feed her. If she looks content sleeping, let her sleep, but do not go over five hours without feeding her at night. My mom has been keeping her with her at nights so I can get some sleep and my mom said that last night, Alexa would not wake up for her feeding, and my mom had to force her awake so she can eat and she did not eat too well. So the pediatrician said just to let her sleep.

Her cord fell off today. When I undressed her at the doctor's office, I noticed that her cord was gone and I asked my mom when it fell off and she remembered it being intact when she last changed her diaper. So we looked in her onesie and it was attached to it. So I am happy to say that she has a cute little belly button. Jeremy wants to save it, but I think it's gross.

The doctor said we should increase the amount of milk we put in her bottle. We have been feeding her 60 cc, but my mom last night fed her about 80 cc. She took it all. So the doctor said to increase it and give her as much as she wants. She also said that since Alexa is on breast milk, we should give her a multivitamin once a day, which confuses me because I thought breast milk was better than formula. Since Alexa has been drinking so much milk, my supply that I had stacked up is nearly gone, which brings me to my next topic...

I want to stop pumping. I try to breastfeed Alexa, but she doesn't seem to do very well. She gets tired after one breast. I know it takes time, but I am really tired of pumping every three hours. I want to stop pumping and give Alexa formula. Is that selfish of me? The reason I started in the first place was to give her the colostrum, but now that that is gone, it feels pointless in giving her breast milk, especially since the pediatrician is telling me she needs a multivitamin. Do y'all think Alexa will transition well to formula? I guess so because that is what they were giving her at the NICU unit before I started giving them what I had pumped. I need help. I want the best for my daughter, but pumping just really wears me out. What should I do?

She's Home!

I am happy to report that Alexa came home on Saturday. Jeremy and I picked her up at the hospital around noon. She is adjusting well to her new surroundings and Jeremy and I are so happy she is finally with us. It has been easy so far with her, but I know once my mom leaves, things will be different. I don't sleep very much at nights because I have to wake up every two hours to pump, change her diaper, feed her, tuck her back in bed and then clean up, but during the day, my mom switches with me so I can sleep. I still have to wake up every three hours to pump, but at least I can go right back to bed afterwards. I have been doing laundry every minute of everyday because Alexa likes to shoot into the open air. Once her diaper is off, she lets loose. Yesterday she got it all over my clothes.

We had our first scare this morning. My mom fed her and laid her back in the bassinett and I slipped into the shower. When I got out, I heard her fussing and then crying. I ran over to her and she is spitting up her milk and it was also coming out of her nose. I yelled for my mom, tipped her on her side and then used that suction pump they gave me to get it out of her nose and mouth. She was crying so badly and it was making me nervous. I finally got it all out, thank the Lord. She never cries, so it was a little nerve wrecking when she did.

The thing I love most about her is while she is sleeping, she will grin or have a huge smile with her mouth wide open. She is so cute when she does that. I am going to have to catch her at that exact moment and take a picture because she looks so adorable when she does it.

Well let me go take a nap before night falls.

The Moment We Have Been Waiting For...

Alexa gets to come home tomorrow! Jan, the nurse practitioner who assesses her everyday, called today and said that she is doing extremely well and is taking all of her bottles, so she is going to be discharged tomorrow. She would be discharged today, but she hasn't gained any weight, so they want to keep her there tonight to see if she will gain any weight. That's okay with us because we still have a few more things to do in her room and we also have to pick up her piggy bank that we had personalized for her, and that store is near the hospital, so tomorrow works out best for us. Also, tomorrow is Jeremy's birthday and this is a great birthday present for him. She will be home to celebrate her daddy's birthday! Jan told us just to call tomorrow to set up an appointment with her nurse so we can do the one hour car seat test and then go over discharge information. I'll probably set my alarm to 6:00 a.m. so we can get her early. I probably won't even be able to sleep!

I am kind of nervous about her coming home though. I don't know if I will do a good job. I've been waiting for this moment since last Thursday, and now that she is finally coming home, I am getting nervous. Especially since she is a preemie, I don't know if the house will be too cold/hot for her, if she will eat well for us, etc. I hope my maternal instincts kick in soon and being a mother will come easy to me.

Another great news. My insurance called me today and said that the accident was not my fault, so that girl's insurance should cover my damages and my insurance will not go up. I am happy about that.

I also dropped my courses for this semester so I can focus my whole attention on Alexa. Before I had her, I thought I can be supermom. Work full time, then go to school at nights, but ever since I had her, I just want to be near her 24/7. Especially with what we have been going through this past week, I don't know if I could have kept up on my school work. I would rather drop this semester than fail and lose my Hope scholarship.

Having my mom here has been great. She does everything: laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning. I just sit here on the couch and ask her to bring me things. It's like having a maid. I am so glad Alexa will be home so that my mom could spend time with her before she goes home. I am especially glad that we can hold her, change her diaper and stuff like that without all the wires. I will update everyone as to how it is going with her at home. Thanks to everyone for their prayers.

A Rollercoaster

Yesterday, my stress level was like a rollercoaster. One minute I would be stress free, the next minute my stress level will be at its highest. It started in the morning. My mother and I go down to the hospital to see Alexa and the nurse tells me she has had four bottles in a row. Taking 35 cc in less than 30 minutes. I breastfed her at noon and she feeds for 15 minutes and then takes another 32 cc from the bottle as a supplement. Everything is going great. We stick around until 3 so I can feed her the bottle and she takes 33 cc.

We leave around 4 and while driving home on GA 400, this lady loses control of her car, crosses two lanes of traffic and hits the truck in front of me. Going 60-65 miles per hour, I could not stop in time, so I hit him. My brand new 2.5 month old Tahoe is crushed on the left side of the hood. I am shaking and my stress level goes up to the max. The cop comes, gives me a court date and says the insurance companies will come up with who has to pay for the damages on my car. It better be that girl's insurance. But still, I think our insurance will go up for this.

Then I get home and Jeremy's mother tells me that at 6 p.m., Alexa only drank 20 cc (Jeremy's mom and stepfather went up to see her last night), and if she doesn't take the next 15 with Laurie, her nurse, then they will tube feed her. There goes my stress level. I don't want her being tube fed anymore because she was doing so well. She had 6 bottles straight in a row with no problems and taking it all in.

Well, last night I called and her nurse told me that she was doing great and she just needed a little rest before her feedings. When my mother and I went up there about 11:30, she was held by either my mom or I for 4 hours, so that is why she only took 20 cc at 6:00 p.m. But her nurse did inform me that Laurie tried to give her the other 15 cc by bottle and she took 13 cc, so that was close enough. Then her 9:00 feeding, she took 40 cc. So she is doing extremely well. That would have been her 9th bottle in a row.

This morning I called and she has Laurie again as her nurse, which is so strange because she never has the same nurse twice. But I am glad because Laurie is great with her. She tells me she had the bottle all night and did wonderfully. She has been taking in more than 40 cc. She said her jaundice is still low, at a 8.4, and if she does well all day today, she might come home tonight or tomorrow morning. Let's pray for tonight because Jan, the nurse practitioner, said she only need 8 in a row and if she does well all day today, she should have taken in like 12 in a row. We will see what Jan says after she assesses her today.

Thanks to everyone who has been keeping us in your prayers. I am truly grateful for everyone's support.

Update

It has been a tiring week. Jeremy, my mom and I have been driving to the hospital everyday this week to see Alexa. She has made a lot of improvements. Her jaundice level has gone down, so they took her off the light treatment which gives her more energy to eat; she is in a regular bed and has been able to keep her temperature; she is breathing well on her own; and she is breastfeeding very well. The nurses are saying she has a good strong suck. She has been downing all of her bottles within a matter of 15 minutes. However, the doctor wants to see her drink 8 bottles in one day for them to release her. But the problem is, the doctor has only ordered 4-6 bottles a day. The nurses are feeding her the bottle every other feeding. The rest is done by tubes. Therefore, the nurses are only giving her the bare minimum that the doctor has ordered. I have a feeling she is going to be in there for a long time because of how slow the hospital are taking things. Jeremy and I would like for them to give her a bottle every feeding and IF she happens to not drink it all, then tube the rest. The nurse told us today that once all the antibiotics, that they pumped into her the first few days, are out of her system, then she will have more energy and will be able to take more bottles. One major improvement is that she got transferred to a less critical unit of the preemie nursery, which is a sign that she is doing very well.

I miss her. I am so ready to be a mom, but with her not next to me, it is so hard for me to feel like one. After leaving the hospital, I cried because I can't be with her 24/7. I don't want her to think we are deserting her nor do I want her to feel unloved or alone. The nurses don't hold her. They don't have the time to love her with all the other babies. Jeremy and I are only allowed to hold her for so long because she needs her rest. I just hate leaving her there with no one to love her.

Everyone raves about how great Northside is. We hate it. Alexa has a really bad diaper rash because the nurses change her every 3 hours. They let her sit in her own crap for three hours. I wish they would change her more often, especially since she has that bad rash. I just can't wait to take her home and take good care of her.

I want to end in a happy note. Jeremy and I got a new camera and a camcorder. We are ready to film our little girl coming home!