What Are You Lacking Today?

When some basic need is lacking - time, energy, money - consider ourselves blessed.  Our very lack is an opportunity to latch onto Him in unashamed dependence.  When we begin a day with inadequate resources, we must concentrate our efforts on the present moment.  This is where we are meant to live.  It is the place where He awaits us.  Awareness of our inadequacy trains us to rely wholeheartedly on Him.  Self-sufficiency is a myth perpetuated by pride and temporary success.  Health and wealth can disappear instantly, as can life itself.  Rejoice in our insufficiency, knowing that His power is made perfect in weakness.

James 1:2; 2 Corinthians 12:9

The one thing I lack, and struggle with, on a daily basis is dying to myself.  There are lots of moments when I want to react on my emotions; anger, annoyance, bitterness.  I want to be entitled to my rights and throw myself a pity party.  That is my greatest weakness.  Sometimes I cave in, but most times I look to God and ask for His Spirit to take over.  When I do, He pours His Spirit into me and I go the opposite direction.  I have more compassion, love, empathy.  When I go that route, there is more peace around me and in me.  I should never be ashamed to ask God over and over again to make up for my shortcomings.  He prefers me to depend on Him than to learn how to be self-sufficient and never need Him again.

Back during the spring session of ladies bible study, I took up a study on Gideon.  The main point of the study is that our weakness is the key to unlocking God's strength.  All of us have shortcomings.  I have a lot of them.  But if I did not have them, I would have no need for God.  God designed all of us to have a need for Him; a desire; an emptiness that can only be filled by Him.  We need to embrace our weaknesses because that is the key.  The key to unlocking God's power; the key to a life dependent on Him; the key to an intimate relationship with the One who longs for us.

Taking It Slow

I like to work out first thing in the morning.  That is where I get my energy from; and I like getting it out of the way.  However, it looks like I will not be able to get my workout in until nap time today.  My children have their 6 month dental checkups this morning, so I can either workout and rush to get out the door, or I can grab my hot cup of coffee and spend time with God.  I chose the latter.  One of the things I am trying to work on is not to be such a control freak.  To not have a mental itinerary of the day.  God is teaching me this morning that I have a choice.  To either follow my mental checklist and be stressed, or to take it slow.  Each day is a gift from God, and I am to use it wisely.

Let Him teach us thankfulness.  Begin by acknowledging that everything belongs to Him.  Each new day is a gift from Him, not to be taken for granted.  If we slow down our pace of life, we can find Him anywhere.  Some of His most precious children have been laid aside in sickbeds or shut away in prisons.  Others have voluntarily learned the discipline of spending time alone with Him.  The secret of being thankful is learning to see everything from His perspective.  His world is our classroom.  His Word is a lamp to our feet and a light for our paths.

Hebrews 12:28-29; Psalm 119:105

Yesterday I hurt my ankle.  I jumped from our tub and landed hard on our tile.  So today I am switching my workout days and doing upper body.  I do not want to injure it more by doing all sorts of crazy moves.  I did not get to do Meatless Monday yesterday so I will be doing Meatless Tuesday today.  I had lunch with my neighbor at a Japanese restaurant, and who does hibachi and has vegetables?!  Not me!  I know, I am so not disciplined!  But I have to live life right?!  Or at least I tell myself that...hehe.  I started BETA yesterday, and even though it was not as tough as I thought it was going to be, I did get a great workout.  It felt so good to sweat like I did.  Here's to the next 5 weeks!

Which One?

As we look into the day that stretches out before us, we see many choice-points along the way.  We must make our choices one at a time since each is contingent upon the decision that precedes it.  Instead of trying to create a mental map of our paths through this day, focus on His loving presence with us.  He will equip us as we go so that we can handle whatever comes our way.  Trust Him to supply what we need when we need it.
Lamentations 3:22-26; Psalm 34:8

Sometimes I get so wrapped up with my own life that I forget to reach out to others.  Sometimes I go through a struggle and wonder if anyone can relate.  Sometimes I forget that we are all human and that life is not perfect.  I found out today that my sister is going through a tough situation.  I want to be there for her and help her in any way that I can, but I am not enough.  God reminds all of us that everyday we are faced with choices, and we have to be careful because one choice is a direct result of the previous choice.  We need to constantly focus our attention on Him.  He will direct our paths.  He will guide us in whichever way we should go.  He will equip us so that we can handle whatever comes our way.  And through it all, He will never forsake us or leave us.  Call upon His name, and He will come ready to fight the battle with us.

His Nurturing Side

Go to Him with empty hands and an open heart, ready to receive abundant blessings.  He knows the depth and breadth of our neediness.  Our life-paths have been difficult, draining us of strength.  Go to Him for nurture.  Let Him fill us up with His presence:  He in us, and us in Him.  His power flows most freely into weak ones aware of their need for Him.  Faltering steps of dependence are not lack of faith; they are links to His presence.
John 17:20-23; Isaiah 40:29-31

We have had an exhausting weekend; just nonstop from dawn to dusk.  I am utterly exhausted.  I am drained of strength and energy.  I have no more to give of myself.  God tells me that on days like this, I need to go to Him.  He will nurture me back to health.  He will give me more of His strength to continue on another day.  On days like today, I realize how much I depend on Him.

Changing Perspectives

Welcome problems as perspective-lifters.  If we encounter a problem with no immediate solution, our response to that situation will take us either up or down.  We can lash out at the difficulty, resenting it and feeling sorry for ourselves.  This will take us down into a pit of self-pity.  Alternatively, the problem can be a ladder, enabling us to climb up and see our lives from His perspective.  Viewed from above, the obstacle that frustrated us is only a light and momentary trouble.  Once our perspective has been heightened, we can look away from the problem altogether.  Turn toward Him, and see the light of His presence shining upon us.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18; Psalm 89:15

It seems as if I face problems almost on a weekly basis.  Most are small, but even the smallest of problems will get some sort of reaction out of me.  Some I handle well, others not so much.  When I do not seek God during the midst of my problems, I let "me" take over.  I react the way I want to; I feel the way I want to; and through it all, I feel entitled to it.  That is when the problem escalates because it lingers and won't go away, until I die to "me" and let God work.  We need to see everything through God's perspective.  Only then will we see problems for what they really are.

I lost a pound today, after not losing anything for the past three weeks or so.  I am two pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight, even though it does not look it.  My problem area is my mid-section.  Having three kids has not been kind to my lower stomach area.  I have loose skin that will not go away with crunches.  I guess I will just have to get a job to save up money for skin removal surgery...haha!  Today is the last day of the ALPHA cycle.  Monday starts the BETA cycle.  I have heard it is extremely hard, but I am ready to take my fitness to the next level.  I am ready to start feeling pain again.  Hopefully the BETA cycle will help tone my mid-section.  A girl can hope right?!

In a Blink of an Eye

Make Him our focal point as we move through this day.  Circumstances are in flux, and the world seems to be whirling around us.  The only way to keep our balance is to fix our eyes on Him, the One who never changes.  If we gaze too long at our circumstances, we will become dizzy and confused.  Look to Him, refreshing ourselves in His presence, and our steps will be steady and sure.
Hebrews 12:2; Psalm 102:27

In our crazy household, things are always changing.  One minute the kids are playing well together, and before you know it, a fight breaks out.  One minute my daughter is calm and collective, and all of a sudden she has an emotional meltdown (it all starts now folks.  She is 8 and full of DRAMA).  One minute life treats us well, and in a blink of an eye it changes.  But God reminds us that even though this world is whirling around us, changing minute by minute, He never changes.  When we become dizzy, confused and even overwhelmed, we need to turn our focus back to Him.  He is refreshing.  He is safe.  He is my shelter.

Tomorrow is STATday and my last day of the ALPHA cycle.  I am excited to start the BETA cycle; something new to challenge my body.  I feel confident about tomorrow.  I have done extremely well this week with my calories, and I feel great!  I need to always remember how I feel vs. how much weight I have lost because at this point, the number does not matter, for various reasons.  Not only is my body changing, but I am changing as well.  I feel like a different person, inside and out.  I have come a long way, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually; and I never would have embarked on this journey, nor been successful at it, without enlisting God's help.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Time Management

Rest in the stillness of His presence while He prepares us for this day.  Be still, and know that He is God.  There is both a passive and an active side to trusting Him.  The passive side is resting in His presence.  The active side is responding to the circumstances of our lives with affirmations of trust.  He is always with us, so we have no reason to be afraid.  Our fear often manifests itself in excessive planning.  Our minds are so accustomed to this pattern of thinking that we do not realize how pervasive it is and how much it hinders our intimacy with Him.  Repent and resist whenever we realize we are wandering down this well-worn path.  Return to His presence, which always awaits us in the present moment.  He accepts us back with no condemnation.
Psalm 46:10; Romans 8:1

Chandler has been sick with the stomach bug for the past three days.  As soon as he was back to his old self, I sent him off to school; and since today is Thursday, I attended ladies bible study.  The spring season of ladies bible study has officially come to an end, but they are offering a mini-session for the next three weeks on various topics.  No more small groups, no more formal bible studies, no more homework.  I usually do not attend the mini-sessions, but since Caleb and I have been cooped up in the house with Chandler, I thought it best for both of us to get out.  Today, one of our church members spoke on time management.  She categorized women as unplanners, to-do list ladies or control freaks.  I am borderline to-do list ladies and control freaks.  Then she posed the question, "would your life be different if you sought the Lord in your daily time management?  How?"  I answered "yes.  I would spend it in a way that glorifies God and benefits others.  Priorities over selfish desires."

Instead of jumping out of bed, ready to tackle my tasks for the day, I need to be still and ask God for what He has for me that day.  He might have a different agenda.  He sure did the last three days of this week.  Instead of attending playdates or a MOPS meeting, I was at home catering to my 4 year old.  But spending my time His way allowed me to set aside my selfish desires, and put someone else's needs before mine.  It helped me to see what is important in my life, and place that at the top of my list.  We were told to make a to-do list and put A, B or C next to it.  A means "must be done today or it will lose value."  God has shown me over the past couple of months that things that used to matter do not have value.  It's the things I have placed on the bottom; the things that I thought would always be there; those are the things that must be done today or it will lose value.

Privileged

Keep our eyes on Him, not only for direction but also for empowerment.  He never leads us to do something without equipping us for the task.  That is why it is so important to seek His will in everything we do.  There are many burned-out Christians who think more is always better, who deem it unspiritual to say no.  In order to know His will, we must spend time with Him.  This is not a onerous task but a delightful privilege.  He will show us the path of life; in His presence is fullness of joy; at His right hand there are pleasures forevermore.
Psalm 141:8; Psalm 16:11

When I first started blogging my daily devotionals, I made sure that I never turned it into a task; something on my to-do list that I had to complete by the end of the day.  Spending time with the Lord is not a tedious task, but a desire on my part.  The Lord not only gives me guidance, but He also empowers me to do things I cannot accomplish on my own.  He gives me the Fruit of the Spirit that I do not possess in my own DNA.  He gives me a peace that not even the best of circumstances can bring.  He keeps me grounded when at times, certain things can veer me off the path.  Every road He has lead me down, good or bad, is for my good and for His glory.  I will never doubt His path of life nor His will.  We never go through anything in vain.  Anything in puts in my way has a purpose, even though I might not understand.  All He asks of me is to be faithful in completing the task set before me.

My Controlling Ways

I live by my calendar.  Without it, I am lost.  When you have three kids, it is hard not to make your calendar your life.  I use it so that I can control what my day will look like.  I need order so that I do not create more chaos in my already chaotic world.  But God has told me before, like He is telling me today, that I need to let go of my controlling nature.  To live each day, ready to drop whatever it is to do God's will.  To not overbook my schedule; to not constantly be on the go, but to be still and listen for what God has for me that day.  I was not able to attend a MOPS meeting today due to Chandler being home with the stomach bug.  I was a little annoyed that I could not go, but God has revealed to me that sometimes I get too wrapped up with my social life.  There is a time and a place for everything; and today, Chandler just needed his mommy to be there for him when he needed me the most.

Listen to Him continually.  He has much to communicate to us, so many people and situations in need of prayer.  He is training us to set our minds on Him more and more, tuning out distractions through the help of His Spirit.  Walk with Him in holy trust, responding to His initiatives rather than trying to make things fit into our plans.  When our minds spin with a multitude of thoughts, we cannot hear His voice.  A mind preoccupied with planning pays homage to the idol of control.  Turn from this idolatry back to Him.  Listen to Him and live abundantly!
John 8:36; Proverbs 19:21; John 10:27

So yesterday, I completed my very first Meatless Monday.  I thought it was going to be tough, since I am such a carnivore, but it was not that bad.  Actually, I feel very good about giving my body a break from meat!  This week is the last week of the alpha cycle in T25.  I have heard the beta cycle is extremely hard.  I hope I am up for the challenge.  I am worried that if it is too hard, I might give up.  I just have to keep reminding myself how great I have been feeling physically, mentally and emotionally, and that should be motivation enough.

Mind Games

Let Him control our minds.  The mind is the most restless, unruly part of mankind.  Long after we have learned the discipline of holding our tongue, our thoughts defy our will and set themselves up against Him.  He risked all by granting us freedom to think for ourselves.  This is godlike privilege.  He made us in His image, precariously close to deity.  Though His blood has fully redeemed us, our mind is the last bastion of rebellion.  Open ourselves to His radiant presence, letting His light permeate our thinking.  When His Spirit is controlling our mind, we are filled with life and peace.
Genesis 1:26-27; Romans 8:6

On a daily basis, I have to give my thoughts over to God.  My mind can either encourage or destroy, and it is up to me to decide which way I want it to go.  Yesterday we attended an Easter family gathering, and like at most family get-togethers, there is just way too much food.  I do what I do best; I over-indulge.  This morning as I am putting on my workout pants, I notice my stomach bulging out.  I beat myself up for eating too much the day before, and vow to starve myself today to make up for it.  But instead of beating down on myself, and getting discouraged in the process, I give my thoughts over to God.  He reminds me in today's devotional that my bad thoughts are an act of rebellion against Him.  Instead of complaining, I need to see what He has done over the past few months in my journey.  Who cares if I slip.  I need to get back up and move forward.

As I was making my bed this morning, God revealed some things to me.  God has brought me through trials so that I can encourage others that are on the same path.  I had to come out of my comfort zone in order to be obedient.  I have been so self-centered, making it all about me, when in fact, I am to encourage those who have encouraged me over the years.  He has done some great things because of my obedience, and like I said before, He knows what I need.  He knows what is best, better than what I think is best for me.

Happy Easter

Do not be afraid, for He is with us.  Hear Him say, "peace, be still," to our restless heart.  No matter what happens, He will never leave us nor forsake us.  Let this assurance soak into our minds and hearts until we overflow with joy.  Though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, we need not fear.  The media relentlessly proclaim bad news.  Instead of focusing on the ever-changing news broadcasts, tune into the Living Word, the One who is always the same.  Let Scripture saturate our minds and hearts, and we will walk steadily along the path of Life.  Even though we do not know what will happen tomorrow, we can be absolutely sure of our ultimate destination.  He holds us by our right hand, and afterward He will take us into Glory.
Mark 4:39; Deuteronomy 31:6; Psalm 46:2; Psalm 73:23-24

Last night, The Bible mini series was on the History Channel.  When I tuned in, Jesus was eating His last supper with His disciples.  He just revealed to them that He was going to be betrayed and condemned to death.  As the disciples showed sadness, confusion and fear, Jesus was telling them to not be afraid.  That He will never leave them.  That the disciples knew the way He was going.  When they said to Him, "how do we know the way if we do not even know where you are going," Jesus responded "I am the way."  Jesus is the Resurrection and the Life.  If we die to our old self, Jesus will give us new birth, a new life.  He died for our sins so that we can have hope.

I love this definition of hope; "a feeling of trust."  I hardly ever watch the news.  It is just filled with darkness.  Saturating my mind with worldly news only creates fear and anxiety in me.  Jesus reminds me to saturate my heart and mind in His Living Word.  He brings light, even to the darkest of places.  I should know.  He has done that several times in my life.  Jesus often reminds me that this life is but a minute, compared to a life of eternity.  I am to use it wisely, and for His Glory.  I want to be able to hear, when I finally meet Jesus face-to-face, "you have done well my good and faithful servant."

Unfailing Love

He loves us regardless of how well we are performing.  We wonder if we are doing enough to be worthy of His love.  Our performance and His love are totally different issues.  He loves us with an everlasting love, without limits or conditions.  He has clothed us in His robe of righteousness, and nothing and no one can reverse it.  Therefore, our accomplishment as a Christian has no bearing on His love for us.  Bring our performance anxiety to Him, and receive in its place His unfailing love.
Jeremiah 31:3; Isaiah 61:10; Psalm 31:16; Psalm 107:8

Today's devotional is so refreshing to hear.  I feel like I always have to measure up to God's expectations, or else He will punish me.  If every box is checked, He will continue pouring His blessings down on me, right?  Wrong.  I have learned over the years that hard times are not a result of my disobedience.  In some cases, it very well could be, but oftentimes God just wants to teach me, and for me to turn back to Him.  Even though I know this, I need to apply that knowledge to my heart.  To really understand that God loves me no matter how poorly I did.  Things that happen in my life has no relevance to my performance.  It is not connected in any way.  This gives me the freedom to serve God without expectations, without fear, without reservation.

Today was STATday, and I am very disappointed that I did not lose any inches.  I felt like I did very well, and even though I feel like I lost some, it is very disappointing when you actually measure yourself and you did not.  But that is not going to stop me.  I feel awesome, better than I ever have, and I will take that over anything any day.

Lean On Him

I have to be very careful when God brings us through a time of abundance and peace.  It is so easy for me to slip back to putting God in a box, and trying life on my own.  That is until I mess up and pull God back out, asking Him to fix my mess.  I have to consciously, on a daily basis, commit to seeking Him.  Yesterday during our ladies bible study spring luncheon, we had a member of our church give her testimony.  She said the one thing that tests our love for Him is our obedience.  Being obedient to the things God has called me to do allows me to depend on Him.  It is putting aside my desires, and replacing it with His.  It is allowing Christ to live through me, and not me wanting to take over.  Being obedient helps me to stay grounded, and reminds me that God is my provider.  Everything in this world is constantly changing, but God is the one thing that remains constant.  Nothing in my life is because of what I did, but what God has done for me.

Peace is His continual gift to us.  Just as the Israelites could not store up manna for the future but had to gather it daily, so it is with His peace.  The daily collecting of manna kept His people aware of their dependence on Him.  Similarly, He gives us sufficient peace for the present when we come to Him in prayer and petition with thanksgiving.  If He gave us permanent peace, we might fall into the trap of self-sufficiency.  He has designed us to need Him moment-by-moment.  He can meet every need without draining His resources.  Approach His throne of grace with bold confidence, receiving His peace with a thankful heart.
Exodus 16:14-20; Philippians 4:6-7, 19; Hebrews 4:16

Whoa, Steady

He is training us in steadiness.  Too many things interrupt our awareness of Him.  Awareness of Him can continue in all circumstances, no matter what happens.  This is the steadiness He desires for us.  Don't let unexpected events throw us off course.  Respond calmly and confidently, remembering that He is with us.  As soon as something grabs our attention, talk with Him about it.  He helps us cope with whatever is before us.  This is how He lives in us and works through us.  This is the way of peace.
Psalm 112:7; Isaiah 41:10

When I am spending quiet time with God, or on my knees praying, I find that my mind often wanders and I constantly have to reel it back in.  It is not because I find God boring, but because so many other things vie for my attention.  Steadiness by definition means firmly fixed, supported, not shaking or moving.  God wants us to fix our gaze on Him.  It's like a one year old at the movies, moving around because their attention span is all but one minute.  God does not want us to be shaky.  He wants us to be steady in Him.  He will support us by helping us cope with whatever takes our attention away from Him.  He is there to help, if only we call on Him.

On a personal note, I need to learn how to be steady emotionally.  I react based on my emotions, and oftentimes I blow things out of proportion.  Chandler has told a friend of mine that I am grumpy, and I do not deny that.  Kids see what they see, and they are so honest.  Staying at home can take a toll on you emotionally.  It is not easy to deal with stuff calmly because sometimes, my nerves are shot.  I need to learn to be steady as a wife and mom.  Sometimes Jeremy says, I do not know what version of Ju I will get, and he's right.  Sometimes I let God live through me, and sometimes I let the flesh take over.  Being constant will benefit me and the people around me.  I need to work on that.

By Faith, Not Sight

He is calling us to a life of thankfulness.  The basis for our gratitude is His sovereignty.  He is the Creator and Controller of the universe.  When we criticize or complain, we are acting as if we think we could run the world better than Him.  From our limited human perspective, it may look as if He is mismanaging things.  But we do not know what He knows or see what He sees.  He has designed us to live by faith, not by sight.  Acknowledge His sovereignty by giving thanks in all circumstances.
Isaiah 6:3; 2 Corinthians 5:7; 1 Thessalonians 5:18

On top of thanking God for what He does, I need to also thank God for who He is.  He is all-powerful and all-knowing.  He knows what I need, where I need to be and who I need to be.  He is shaping me and reshaping me everyday.  Even though there are times when I think He is not doing a good job on my life, I need to believe that He knows what He is doing, even when it doesn't make sense.  I need to not try and take over, like I have done many times before.  I am commanded to live by faith, not by sight.  If my belief and trust in God was all by sight, it would waver.  It is not about what He can do for me, but what He can do through me.

The Master Planner

Trust Him and do not be afraid.  Many things feel out of control.  Our routines are not running smoothly.  We tend to feel more secure when our life is predictable.  Let Him lead us to the rock that is higher than us and our circumstances.  Take refuge in the shelter of His wings, where we are absolutely secure.  When we are shaken out of our comfortable routines, look for growth opportunities.  Instead of bemoaning the loss of our comfort, accept the challenge of something new.  He leads us from glory to glory, making us fit for His kingdom.  Say yes to the way He works in our lives.
Isaiah 12:2; Psalm 61:2-4; 2 Corinthians 3:18

I am all about routines and schedules.  I find it comforting to make a mental checklist and by the end of the day, have all those boxes checked.  But not everyday goes as smoothly as I plan.  Curve balls get thrown, and the faster it's thrown, the more anxious I become.  Change is something I am not good with.  Some people might not like monotony, but I somehow find it comforting.  To know that things remain the same, even though everything else is forever changing.  My mentality is "why fix it if it's not broken."  But I will never grow if I stay exactly where I am.  I never would have grown if God did not take me to places I never wanted to go.  He brings me to new places to break me, then shape me.  He knows what He is doing.  I just need to have an obedient heart, say yes and trust Him for the outcome.

I know I have said before that I am deleting my calorie counting app, but I have realized that for the past two weeks, I have been overeating.  I do not have the willpower to eat in moderation on my own.  So I am back to using the app, but not making it public.  Initially, my intentions of sharing my progress was to have accountability.  Even though my intentions were good, it started affecting my motivation.  I was losing weight for the wrong reasons.  I did not want to disappoint; therefore, it was stressing me out.  This journey is all about health and wellness, not size 2 jeans.  It's about changing inside out, not outside in.

2 In 1

I realized when I opened up my devotional this morning that I failed to do my devotional yesterday.

4/13/14
When He gives us no special guidance, stay where we are.  Concentrate on doing our everyday tasks in awareness of His presence with us.  Through collaborating with Him in all things, we allow His life to merge with ours.  This is the secret of joyful and victorious living.  He designed us to depend on Him moment by moment, recognizing that apart from Him we can do nothing.  Be thankful for quiet days instead of being bored by the lack of action.  Use this time to seek His face.  This speaks volumes in spiritual realms.  We will be richly blessed when we walk trustingly with Him through the routines of our day.
Colossians 3:23; John 15:5; Psalm 105:4

Yesterday morning, Jeremy informs me that he wanted to try a different church.  He has mentioned it before, but I always ignored it.  Our church has been our home for almost 5 years now, and I was not about to start all over in a different church.  After a long debate, I finally came to a conclusion that I did not want to be selfish anymore.  If Jeremy feels like He is not getting what He needs from our church, then I will be willing to go somewhere else.  I am willing to put His needs before mine.  I am not good with change, but change is not always bad.  Then I read yesterday's devotional and the first sentence is, "When I give you no special guidance, stay where you are."  I do not want to make any rash decisions like we have done in the past.  I definitely want both of us to pray about it.  It will be a big move for all of us.  When Alexa overheard my mother-in-law and I talking about the possibility of moving churches, she chimed in and said she did not want to switch.  The kids love it there.  I love it there.  But Jeremy needs to love it there too.  "Be still and know that I am God" and that is what we will do until He tells us otherwise.

4/14/14
Heaven is both present and future.  As we walk along His life-path, we are already in touch with the essence of heaven.  We can also find many hints of heaven along our pathway because the earth is radiantly alive with His presence.  Shimmering sunshine, birds, flowers, trees; they all evoke praises to His Holy Name.  At the end of our life-path is an entrance to heaven.  Only He knows when we will reach that destination, but He is preparing us for it each step of the way.  We will reach our home in His perfect timing.  Let the hope of heaven encourage us as we walk along the path of life with Him.
1 Corinthians 15:20-23; Hebrews 6:19

As I mentioned in a previous post, I love sitting outside in our backyard.  It brings me so much peace.  Taking in everything God has made, and listening to the birds, I catch a glimpse of heaven.  Not that I think that is what heaven looks like, but certainly the peace and serenity it brings me when I sit back there.  Knowing for certain that heaven is my final destination brings me comfort and joy.  It allows me to live life not fearful of death or the afterlife.  I cannot wait till I am in a place where there is no more sorrow and no more pain; just love and life.

In other news, I am excited about continuing week 4 of T25 today.  I took last week off due to spring break and my birthday.  So today I am back on my healthy eating and exercising.  I am surprised at my excitement.  I normally dread it, but since I am approaching it with a new outlook and attitude, I actually enjoy eating healthy and exercising.  The way it makes me feel helps me to keep at it.  My body changing because of it is just a bonus.

It's All a Matter of Trust

Trusting Him is a moment-by-moment choice.  We trust Him when things go well, when we see Him working on our behalf.  This type of trust flows readily within us, requiring no exertion of our will.  When things go wrong, our trust-flow slows down and solidifies.  We are forced to choose between trusting Him intentionally or rebelling, resenting His ways with us.  This choice constitutes a fork in the road.  Choose to trust Him in all circumstances.
Exodus 15:22-25; Psalm 31:14

We are all guilty of it; trusting God with our whole heart when things are well, and questioning God's love for us when things are not.  God has put Jeremy and I through the wringer in the past.  Oftentimes I have questioned His love for me.  Why would He put me through such a devastating situation?  What good could come out of all this?  I had a choice to either trust Him or rebel.  Sometimes I rebelled, telling God that if He did not change my circumstance, that I was going to turn my back on Him.  Other times, I had no choice but to trust Him.  I mean what else did I have to lose.  But God has proven Himself to be faithful and good.  Looking back at everything God has put us through, something good always comes out of it.  We would not be leading the life we are living if God has not put us through some tough times.  I wish to not have any reruns, but I know that is inevitable.  But when those times come, and they will, I know God will prove Himself to be faithful and good again.  Trusting Him is all we can do because He knows what is best for us, and I believe in that.

Happy Birthday To Me

As I sit here thinking about what I have accomplished during the 34 years I have been on this planet, my eyes land on a picture on our mantel.  It is a picture of the five of us on the day Caleb got dedicated at our Church.  That is my greatest achievement.  It's not some college degree hanging on the wall or an award I received.  It's our little life that Jeremy and I have created for ourselves.  It brings tears to my eyes to see how much God has truly blessed us.  The life He has carved for us is far greater than what I had carved.  It is beyond my wildest imagination, my highest expectation.

This is the day that He has made.  Rejoice and be glad in it.  Begin the day with open hands of faith, ready to receive all that He is pouring into our lives.  Do not complain about anything because He is the author of our circumstances.  Handle unwanted situations by thanking Him for them.  This frees us from resentment and frees Him to work His ways into the situation, so that good emerges from it.  To find joy in this day, live within its boundaries.  We can only bear the weight of only one day at a time.  Do not worry about tomorrow or get stuck in the past.  There is abundant life in His presence today.
Psalm 118:24; Philippians 3:13-14

Today's devotional reminds me of a song on my kids' Veggietales CD; "This is the day that the Lord has made.  I will rejoice and be glad in it. This is the day, this is the day, that the Lord has made."  Even though I dread birthdays because it is only a reminder that I am getting older, and wrinklier, it is the day God made me.  When I was born, my mother was in labor for 2-3 days.  When she finally delivered me, we both ended up in ICU.  The doctor told my parents that I only had a 5% chance of survival.  But here I am, healthy as can be.  God has saved me twice; once at birth and when I was 27.  The least I can do is follow the One who delivered me.

In other news, tomorrow will not be STATday.  Since we went away this week for spring break, I did not work out, nor did I eat healthy.  I had contemplated on craming in a week's worth in four days, but I did not want to overdo it.  I will start back on Monday, since this weekend is my birthday weekend aka fat weekend.

Which Way?

When I think back through my life, every fork in the road I have faced has led me to God.  I often think, if I chose the other path, I do not know if I would be a Christian today.  Even though I had a normal childhood, I went through some dark times during my college years.  I lived a life I am not proud of, nor want to relive.  But through it all, God was present, even though I knew nothing of Him.  Through it all, He was there offering me a relationship with Him.  He was there when I least deserved it.  

Trust Him in every detail of our lives.  Nothing is random in His kingdom.  Everything that happens fits into a pattern for good, to those who love Him.  Instead of trying to analyze the intricacies of the pattern, focus our energy on trusting Him and thanking Him at all times.  Nothing is wasted when we walk close to Him.  Even our mistakes and sins can be recycled into something good through His transforming grace.  While we were still living in darkness, He began to shine the light of His presence into our sin-stained life.  Finally, He lifted us up out of the mire into His marvelous light.  Having sacrificed His very life for us, He can be trusted in every facet of our lives.

Jeremiah 17:7; Romans 8:28; Psalm 40:2; 1 Peter 2:9 

Problems, Problems, Problems

We are His for all time; nothing can separate us from His love.  Since He has invested His very life in us, be well assured that He will also take care of us.  When our mind goes into neutral and our thoughts flow freely, we tend to feel anxious and our thoughts flow freely.  Our focus becomes problem solving.  To get our mind back into gear, just turn toward Him, bringing ourselves and our problems into His presence.  Many problems vanish instantly in the light of His love because we realize we are never alone.  Other problems may remain, but they become secondary to knowing Him and rejoicing in the relationship He so freely offers us.  Each moment we can choose to practice His presence or to practice the presence of problems.
Romans 8:38-39; Exodus 33:14

I do not always get to spend my first hour of the day with God.  I wish I did though because on days that I do, my problems do not seem all that big.  Things are put into perspective, and I realize that my problems are of this world.  If I make God my priority, all the other things take a back seat.  Making God my priority allows me to put my trust and dependence on Him, and not on myself.

For Us, Not Against Us

I love God's character; His loyalty, His faithfulness, His love, and it is all unconditional.  He doesn't love me only when I am good.  He loves me with all my faults.  When I am in a state of thankfulness, the one thing I am most grateful for is God's determination.  No matter how many times I turn my back on Him, He never gives up on me.  He is so determined to have an intimate relationship with me that He waits, for as long as it takes.  He is there, ready and willing.  I am so grateful to have a God who puts me first.

He is with us and for us.  He never leaves us, even when we leave Him by ignoring Him.  When we feel distance in our relationship with Him, we know where the problem lies.  His love for us is constant; He is the same yesterday, today and forever.  It is us who change, letting circumstances toss us this way and that.  When we feel far from Him, whisper His name.  This simple act, done in childlike faith, opens our heart to His presence.  He is delighted when we open ourselves to His loving presence.
Genesis 28:15; Romans 8:31; Hebrews 13:8

The Potter and the Clay

Like I have mentioned before, God has brought many trials into our family.  Jeremy and I have made a home in the valley because we have been there so many times.  But through each trial, God has seen us through it and molded us from it.  Our lives are changed because of them.  God has our best interest in mind when orchestrating or allowing a trial.  We never come out being the same person we were.  So instead of complaining or being bitter, we have learned to embrace the thing that God uses to make us more like Him.

He is the potter; we are His clay.  He arranges the events of each day to form us into this preconceived pattern.  His everlasting love is at work in every event in our lives.  On some days our will and His flow smoothly together.  On other days we feel as if we are swimming upstream, against the current of His purposes.  When that happens, stop and seek His face.  The opposition we feel may be from Him, or it may be from the evil one.  Talk with Him about what we are experiencing.  Let His Spirit guide us through the treacherous waters.  Let circumstances mold us into the one He desires us to be.  Say yes to the Potter as we go through this day.
Isaiah 64:8; Psalm 27:8

Positives and Negatives

Bring Him the sacrifice of thanksgiving.  Take nothing for granted, not even the rising of the sun.  When we focus on what we don't have or on situations that displease us, our mind becomes darkened.  We take for granted life, salvation, sunshine, flowers and countless other gifts from Him.  We look for what is wrong and refuse to enjoy life until that is "fixed".  When we approach Him with thanksgiving, the light of His presence pours into us, transforming us through and through.  Walk in the light with Him by practicing the discipline of thanksgiving.
Psalm 116:17; Genesis 3:2-6; John 1:7

Being grateful is something I consciously have to do.  Whenever I feel like I am always getting the short end of the stick in life, I have to purposefully thank God for all the things I do have.  When I do that, I realize that there are more positives vs. negatives.  It puts into perspective the things that matter in life.  I am grateful for a hard-working husband, three healthy kids, a house and a van.  Who cares if our house is old.  It provides shelter.  Who cares if our van is used.  It gets us around.  If I constantly focus on the negatives, I overlook God's blessings.  I am richly blessed not because I deserve it, but because of God's grace.  I need to learn not to take anything for granted because at any point it could be taken away, and only then will I realize what I had.

The Fruit of the Spirit

My husband is self-employed.  Almost a year ago, he bought a semi and started driving for himself.  The downside to owning your own truck is if anything gets broken, we have to fix it.  Luckily, Jeremy has an uncle who is a diesel mechanic, so a lot of the minor stuff is done by the two of them.  However, just recently Jeremy had to take it to a mechanic, who happens to live in south GA.  The plan was for Jeremy to deliver a load near his shop, drop his truck off and I pick him up.  Sounds simple right?  Well there's one problem...it's two hours away!  Not to mention, I have to drive through downtown Atlanta in the middle of rush hour...NIGHTMARE!  

When Jeremy calls me, he informs me that the work that needs to be done will only take 30 minutes, so I suggest that he wait.  He agrees.  Three hours go by and Jeremy is still waiting on the mechanic, who happens to be a road mechanic!  Apparently that is a guy who travels and fixes vehicles.  I begin to feel bad that I did not pick him up earlier, so I offer to pick him up at that point.  He is mad at me because I did not stick to our plan.  That results in a fight, go figure.  So here I am, 4 pm, getting ready to drive two hours away, preparing myself for the nightmare that is waiting for me in downtown Atlanta (since rush hour seems to last all day on Fridays), and he calls to tell me that the mechanic is finally on his way and he is going to go to his uncle's house and wait (please tell me why he did not do this from the beginning!).  

So there I am, sitting in a Walmart parking lot (waiting on Jeremy's cousin to get Alexa), mentally exhausted from the day.  The back and forth, the fights with Jeremy, the frustration; I just have had enough and I start crying.  I just want Jeremy home.  I just want to start our vacation.  I just want to escape from reality.  Then I read today's devotional and am reminded that at moments like that, I need to be filled with Him.  His strength gets me through the day.  His strength gets me through moments when I just want the world to go away.  And if I am filled with more of Him, and less of me, I would not be so anxious, annoyed, interrupted and mad.  I would've understood Jeremy's frustration and given him compassion, without trying to defend myself.  I would've apologized for my selfishness and maybe the end result would have been different.

Let Him fill us with His love, joy and peace.  These are glory-gifts, flowing from His living presence.  Our weakness provides an opportunity for His power to shine forth more brightly.  As we go through this day, trust Him to provide the strength we need moment by moment.  His Spirit within us is more than sufficient to handle whatever this day may bring.  In quietness and confident trust is our strength.

2 Corinthians 4:7; Isaiah 30:15

Today is STATday.  I lost the two pounds I gained last week.  I do not know what happened since I did not stick to my calorie counting this week.  Most likely, those two pounds were from the Chinese food I had eaten before my weigh-in.  I did manage to also lose an inch off my waist and chest again, and a quarter of an inch off my arms.  I decided I am going to delete the fitness app on my phone.  I am not against calorie counting, but when it takes over your life, that is when you know you should back off for a bit.  I want my life to be about health and wellness, not guilt and regret.

In The Still of the Soul

He meets us in the stillness of our souls.  It is there that He seeks to commune with us.  Stillness of soul is increasingly rare in this world addicted to noise and speed.  He is pleased with our desire to create a quiet space where we can meet with Him.  Don't be discouraged by the difficulty of achieving this goal.  He monitors all of our efforts and is blessed by each of our attempts to see His face.
Zechariah 2:13; 2 Chronicles 16:9; Psalm 23:2-3

Since Caleb has been sick, it has been difficult for me to continue my early morning routine.  Without a full night's sleep, I do not have the energy to get up at 5 in the morning, or even 6, and spend quiet time with the Lord.  This morning, however, I got up with Jeremy, sent him off to work, made my coffee and sat down to spend time with the Lord when Alexa and Chandler decided they wanted to be early birds too.  So here I am, locked up in my bedroom with the television blaring in the living room, trying to spend time with God in the stillness. He honors all of my efforts, whether it is spending time with Him in total silence or with kids running around.  I shouldn't focus so much about the environment, but about making my time with Him worthwhile.

Tomorrow is STATday.  I have to say, I am a bit nervous.  This week has been a tough one.  I have not been very committed to my calorie counting app.  But I have come to the realization that if I want to be successful, and not become obsessive, I need to give the app up.  I cannot put my success on a number.  I cannot beat myself up for going over on my calories.  This weight loss journey was not intended to me to be a certain weight, or wear a certain size; it was all about changing my outlook on health and life.  I did not want to be in bondage over food anymore.  I wanted to eat and be free.  What I want out of this is freedom.  Freedom to eat and be okay.  Freedom to be the size that I am and be okay.  Freedom to not wear the trendiest clothes and be okay.  I can do this without some app reprimanding me for overeating one day.  The most important thing is that I feel great.  I have more energy, I feel more alive, I have more confidence, I feel good about myself.  I will take that over size 2 jeans any day.

What Do You Strive For?

Today marks the end of the Stuck study.  Unfortunately, Caleb is not well enough to be around other kids, so I will miss the last class.  I hate that I will miss it, but grateful to have been a part of the study.  I love this study.  I love everything about it.  What I love most about it is that it is totally me; every part of it.  I have lived my life chasing the wind.  Chasing things that are visible, which only brings temporary joy.  I have put all my time and energy striving for things that did not matter; therefore, sacrificing the things that did.  When I strive for those kinds of things, nothing is ever good enough.  Once I reach that level, I start reaching for the next.  There's never an end.  This study has taught me many things, but the most important thing is that I need to die to myself, and on a daily basis.  I need to put aside my selfish hopes and desires, and start living for what God has planned for my life.  His plan is far greater than what I had planned.  A couple of months ago, we had a guest speaker at MOPS.  She passed out a sheet of paper that had sayings on it.  On the bottom it says, "put God first...everything else is just stuff."  I still have that piece of paper hanging on our organizer.  I look at it almost everyday.  It is a good reminder that the material stuff I strive for is just "stuff".  It will all waste away.  I want to store away treasures in heaven, not treasures in this life.

 In Him we have everything.  In Him we are complete.  Our capacity to experience Him is increasing through His removal of debris and clutter from our hearts.  As our yearning for Him increases, other desires are gradually lessening.  It is impossible for us to have a need that He cannot meet.  The world is still at His beck and call, though it appears otherwise.  Do not be fooled by appearances.  Things that are visible are brief and fleeting, while things that are invisible are everlasting.
Ephesians 3:20; 2 Corinthians 4:18

A Balancing Act

In a marriage, it is all about team work.  In our marriage, there always seems to be a shift in roles.  Sometimes I am the worrier, other times it is Jeremy.  This morning Jeremy called, worrying about our upcoming trip to Pigeon Forge.  Thanks be to God that He provided me with peace, not only to reassure Jeremy, but to also encourage him.  We need to balance each other out, so that both of us are not on the same end of the spectrum, tipping the scale.

He has promised to meet all our needs according to His glorious riches.  Our deepest, most constant need is for His peace.  He has planted peace in the garden of our hearts, where He lives, but there are weeds growing there too; pride, worry, selfishness, unbelief.  He is the gardener, working to rid our hearts of those weeds.  He also sends trials into our lives.  When we trust Him in the midst of trouble, peace flourishes and weeds die away.  Thank Him for troublesome situations; the peace they can produce far outweigh the trials we endure.
Philippians 4:19; 2 Corinthians 4:17

A Tough Job

Being a parent is tough.  I constantly second guess everything when it comes to my kids:  the way I discipline, what I am feeding them, how I am spending time with them, and so much more.  I am afraid that one mistake on my part will veer them down the wrong path when they grow up.  Yesterday Alexa comes home from school with her progress report.  She made straight A's, as usual, and received academic awards.  Chandler, on the other hand, comes home from preschool and tells me he moved his worm yet again.  This is about the 5th time he has moved his worm during the month of March.  Now, Jeremy and I always knew Chandler was going to be our class clown.  We just did not expect it to start in preschool!  But here I am, worried about how I am going to deal with him and school.  Anxiety consumes me, as I struggle with how to discipline him in a way that will not affect him in a negative way.  I call people for parenting advice, but as I read today's devotional, I am reminded that I need to communicate with God because only He knows Chandler's heart, and how to deal with him.

He is calling us to a life of constant communion with Him.  Basic training includes learning to live above our circumstances, even while interacting on that cluttered plane of life.  We yearn for a simplified lifestyle so that our communication with Him can be uninterrupted.  But He challenges us to relinquish the fantasy of an uncluttered world.  Accept each day just as it comes, and find Him in the midst of it all.  Talk with Him about every aspect of our day, including our feelings.  Our ultimate goal is not to control or fix everything around us.  Keep in touch with Him, even if things remain undone at the end of the day.  Do not let our to-do list become an idol directing our lives.  Keep close to Him.
1 Thessalonians 5:17; Proverbs 3:6

How easy it would be if Chandler was like Alexa.  However, He has a purpose for Chandler and a different purpose for Alexa.  So instead of comparing, I need to ask God to reveal to me His plans for them.  I need to raise my children up the way God intends.  I need to seek Him for wisdom and strength.

Currently I am struggling with my eating habit.  I fear that my mind is going back to my old way of thinking; I can eat whatever I want because I am working out.  Lately I have consumed more calories than necessary.  I am living to eat, not eating to live.  Even though I am on top of my exercises, I am not doing so well on the eating part.  I need to get my head in the game or else I will be back on the yo-yo.