Progress

It's 10:00 pm and I can't sleep.  I always have a hard time sleeping when Jeremy is out of town.  I usually don't go to bed until my eyelids are so heavy that I can't keep them open any longer.  The alternative is to lay in bed and over analyze every noise I hear, and that is just no fun!  I tried to continue with my photography lessons on itsoverflowing.com, but her website doesn't seem to be working tonight.  I really hope it's not permanently down because I have learned so much from her.  No other photography 101 websites can replace hers!  I know...I've already tried...hehe.

Today was my second weigh in at my health and wellness bible study class.  I haven't lost any "weight", but I did manage to drop 3% of my body fat, and my lean muscle mass went up.  I know I shouldn't stress too much about the "number" because so many things contribute to the number like bloating, clothes and muscle.  Even though I didn't lose "pounds", I am glad my body fat percentage is dropping.  That means all the blood, sweat and tears I've been pouring over Jillian Michaels workouts have been paying off!

You must be wondering why I am blogging so much lately.  I know this is such a change from not having blogged in years.  Blogging is my outlet.  It lets me get all my thoughts out.  It's part of my therapy.  I feel like I have been so out of touch with life. Living day by day in a blur.  I feel like I am taking back control.  Wanting to live day by day.  Wanting to change my outlook on life.  Wanting a change for my family.  I am working through so much by myself, with Pat (the wonderful woman I mentioned in my first "coming back" blog), and with God.  I just hope and pray that this is a new leaf I have turned, and that I never go back to the way I used to live; just barely making it, barely living life.  But we are making progress; emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.  It's a slow progress, but still progress nonetheless.