Loving Alexa

36 Weeks

2009-11-27T13:32:00.003-05:00

I will be 36 weeks tomorrow. I cannot believe I am this far along. I swear I thought I was going to have this baby either earlier or right at 34 weeks like Alexa. At my 35 week appointment, the midwife told me I was 80% effaced and 3 cm dilated. She predicted that I wouldn't go much farther, so I was expecting to have this baby by Thanksgiving, but Thanksgiving has come and gone, and I am still pregnant! I will probably make it to my next appointment, which is on Dec. 1, but have a feeling they might send me to labor and delivery then. This baby has definitely moved down and is low.

This pregnancy has been so different this time around. I have major heartburn and indigestion, breakouts on my chest and back, and my stomach is much bigger and all baby. I have acculumated more stretch marks, and I just can't stand to see the sight of them!! Oh well, what am I going to do about it.

I have not been able to sleep comfortably for the past few weeks or so, I have carpal tunnel BADLY in both hands, and have been using the bathroom every 5 minutes! I can't wait for this baby to come out and have my old body back! I thought I would never say that considering how much I love being pregnant, but I am sooo ready! But I need to be careful for what I wish for because I do need this baby to bake a little more. I want a healthy baby that does not need to spend any time in NICU this time. With Alexa, it will be impossible for me to visit the baby if it ended up in NICU.

So with the H1N1 virus going around, Alexa is not allowed to visit us at the hospital. I'm really saddened by that since Alexa and I spend a great deal of time talking about the baby and her visiting us at the hospital. She even bought, with our money of course, a little stuffed reindeer for the baby. I don't want her to be disappointed when we come home and she realized she wasn't at the hospital. I don't want her to feel left out. Hopefully she'll be having such a blast, whoever she stays with, that she wouldn't even think about us the whole time we are at the hospital.

I am so anxious to meet our little one, especially since we don't know the sex. So final names: Ansley Elaine or Chandler Robert. Can't wait!!

30 Weeks

2009-10-16T19:50:00.004-05:00

I cannot believe I am 30 weeks!! Actually this pregnancy has been kind of going by slow only because I am sooo anxious to find out what we are having!!! I had another ultrasound done today so they can check my cervix. Everything looks great and the baby is actually measuring a little bigger than most babies at 30 weeks. They are going to start checking my cervix from now on so hopefully this baby will stay in the oven until at least 37 weeks!!

We need to start setting up the nursery and washing blankets and car seats and stuff. We are not on top of our game like we were with Alexa. I guess the next several weekends will be dedicated to setting up the nursery and cleaning everything. Alexa is so excited about being a big sister. She's already learned that if she has a sister, her name is going to be Ansley. I just hope if we have a boy, she doesn't call him Ansley, LOL.

She has been so anti-boy lately. She constantly says she doesn't like boys. Just today when she said the baby's name is going to be Ansley, I said but if it's a boy his name is going to be Chandler and she said I don't like boys. I'm sure Jeremy is loving that ;)

So my wonderful sister-in-laws are throwing me a baby shower. I'm pleasantly surprised because I really wasn't expecting to get one! I went to Target today to register and they gave me a tote bag with some goodies. I didn't register for much, since we have pretty much everything from when we had Alexa, but I just loved looking at all the newborn stuff!! I got a couple of diapers in the goodie bag and I just can't picture my baby wearing these teeny widdle diapers. I just can't believe how small it's going to be!! It's been soooo long!!

25 Weeks

2009-09-11T13:59:00.002-05:00

So tomorrow I will be 25 weeks!! This baby has been more active lately and it's movements have actually been movements instead of just kicks. It's awesome to actually see my stomach move when the baby is making movements. I can't believe I only have 15 weeks or less to go. I'm gonna miss my belly!! I better cherish every minute of it because it'll be flab before you know it! HAHA. Hopefully I'll be volunteering at a pregnancy center while Alexa is in preschool so maybe I'll get another sonogram before this baby is due!! But I'm still not finding out the sex!! LOL

Alexa has officially started preschool. She loves it! She had snack duty the first day of school so she got to be the big helper and the leader of their nature walk. She probably thinks she rules her classroom now. LOL. She came home today and said that the girls are nice and boys are mean. She said the girls talk too much about boys being mean. Oh no, the gossiping has started already! LOL

So in other news, I'm joining a MOPS group! I'm so excited about meeting some moms and hopefully getting some playdates set up for Alexa. She loves getting out of the house, but preschool is only three hours in the morning. It has been very hard for both of us adjusting to staying home all day, but God has truly blessed us in many ways. I cannot comprehend the goodness of Him and His mercy for us. Some days I just cannot help but fall on my knees and just praise Him for all that He has provided for us. Hopefully I can give back by leading others to Him so they can receive and enjoy His goodness.

21 Weeks

2009-08-20T19:49:00.003-05:00

So I turned 21 weeks this past Saturday. We had an ultrasound done and the baby looks perfect! We decided not to find out the sex of the baby, so that remains a mystery. Every now and then I regret not finding out, but I think in the end it'll be worth it when the doctor announces IT'S A _______!!!

Everyone we know, with the exception of one of my brother-in-laws, thinks we are having a girl. So we really concentrated on picking out the most perfect name. Her name will be Ansley Layne. If it's a girl, we wanted her to have the same initials as Alexa. I know I know, we are corny. If it's a boy, we were thinking about naming him Alec Robert, but we are still working on that. I'm not a HUGE fan of the name Alec.

I haven't been feeling much movement from this one. I don't know if it's still too early or if it's going to be a calm baby. I hope for the latter. Jeremy has felt it a few times. It's awesome to share moments like that with him. He'll ask me once in awhile if the baby is moving...hehe.

So this past Sunday Jeremy and I visited the Sunday School class I mentioned in my previous post. Everyone was right around our age and really nice. We plan on visiting that class again this Sunday. Also last Sunday I made the decision to get baptized. I have been saved for about 2.5 years now, but decided to fully commit my life to Christ and publicly announce it. He has really been working in our lives and has really shown Himself to us through our crisis, and we don't want to live a life without Him.

That's all the update I have for now. Jeremy had a job interview today, but they won't be hiring anyone until the middle of September, so he is still looking.

Update

2009-08-01T13:03:00.004-05:00

Yeah so I haven't updated this blog in awhile, and I was reminded that I will regret not blogging about my second pregnancy so here I am. I am 19 weeks today. This pregnancy is a little different. I am not as sick as I was with Alexa, I am showing a month earlier, and I am bigger than what I was at 19 weeks with Alexa. I started feeling the baby last week at 18 weeks but just small kicks. I can't wait till I can feel the big ones and have Jeremy feel them too! This time around we are not going to find out the sex of the baby. This will probably be our last one so we want to be surprised! Besides everything we had for Alexa is unisex so what's the point of even finding out. We aren't going to buy anything anyway.

So a lot has been going on since the last time I blogged. Jeremy got a job as a senior healthcare consultant. He gets frustrated with the traveling, but loves the job itself. He is pretty great at it. We started attending North Metro Baptist Church back in April and we love it there. We plan on joining a Sunday School class that is for married couples 25-35, married 4+ years (which is just perfect for us), and I plan on joining a women's bible study group for the fall. Alexa will be joining preschool at North Metro for the fall also. We are just so excited about the work God is doing in our lives. He has changed our life in every aspect.

Well that's it for now. I promise to be a better blogger, but time will tell. Hehe.

Round #2

2009-04-29T22:05:00.003-05:00

So about three weeks ago, I started having some serious pain in my lower abdomen. I thought those pesky cysts were back to haunt me, so I asked my sister to send me some birth control pills so I can zap them away! Then last week my breasts started becoming tender, so I thought I was going to get a little visit from the menstrual fairy. Monday night and she doesn't show up. What shows up in her place are those cramps that I have been feeling on and off for the past three weeks. So Tuesday morning, I took a pregnancy test so that I can get the OK to start the birth control pills. I did not get the OK. Instead what I got was a plus sign. I AM PREGNANT!!!

TOTAL SURPRISE!!! It's funny how for both of my pregnancies, I thought it was something else, but I was really just pregnant. That's how much I know my body!!!! HAHAHA

Here is a little clip I sent to the family announcing our new addition...

http://s10.photobucket.com/albums/a131/jubottoms/?action=view&current=BigSister.flv

Second Time Around

2009-03-24T20:51:00.002-05:00

I feel like I've done this before. Actually I have done this before. It was back in September of 2002 when I said goodbye to my family, my friends and all that I knew. And now I'm doing it all over again. However, this time it's different. It's going to be especially hard because of Alexa. She has bonded with my family in ways I cannot explain. Her and my mom are best friends; She views my sister like her second mother. To have to say goodbye to that saddens me the most. I truly hope that Alexa never forgets the relationship she has formed with my family.

Being back here as taught me a lot about myself and life in general. God has taught me things I never would have learned living down in GA. Do not be arrogrant, do not be prideful; so many of what I have been. Family and friends are very important. I have such a hard time keeping close relationships. I know how important it is to have love and support from people you trust. It's hard and painful to be alone.

The most important lesson I have learned is to keep God first and foremost. To trust Him with all aspects of your life. Without Him, everything is impossible. These past seven months have been wonderful because I was close to my family, but at the same time very trying. No job, no money, no way of catching up on bills. But I put my trust in the Lord and He has carried me through these trials and I am forever grateful. This is my summary of my last seven months. I plan on carrying this with me for the rest of my life.

New Approach

2009-03-03T21:57:00.003-05:00

So I have been on a journey to weight loss since I was born. Back in September I joined Weight Watchers and have managed to lose 10 lbs. Since then I gained a couple of that back. So about a month ago I started working out. I can tell my body is changing, but my scale is not going down at all. I'm guessing that is due to building muscle. However, I don't care about building muscle; I care about the scale numbers going down. So I decided to start Weight Watchers again and doing light exercises so I don't have bulging thigh muscles. I'm gonna try this for about a month and see if it changes the numbers at all. I can't WAIT till I'm finally skinny and never have to worry about my weight again!!! YEAH RIGHT, keep on dreaming...

WOW!

2009-02-24T16:33:00.003-05:00

WOW! I cannot believe it has been a year and a half since I last posted!!! Time sure flies. We moved up to CT back in the fall, so my sister-in-law thought it would be a good idea if I started blogging again to keep our GA families up to date on us and Alexa, but more Alexa, hehe. I sure wish now that I kept up with my blog. Alexa has grown so much and has done so much that I wish I kept a record of it. I have those memories in my heart, but I wish I could recapture them by reading about it. Oh well, live and learn.

So she is three now! I can't believe it. Just yesterday I had her at Northside Hospital! HAHA. Here is a recent picture of her.

She has truly grown into a little woman. She is so independent. Knows exactly what she wants. She is at such a fun age though. She can have a full conversation with you. It's amazing at some of the words she knows! It's so funny though when she really gets into it and starts talking all excited, she lapses back to her "toddler can't understand a thing" gibberish. We love her though! Best thing that has ever happen to us!!

Slacker

2007-06-07T06:33:00.001-05:00

Man...I am really slacking on this blog thing. So a lot has been going on since the last time I posted. We FINALLY moved into our house...YAY! It feels soooo good to have your own place again. Alexa is adapting well. We've moved that kid around so much that she probably doesn't even know how long we will be in this house, but I made sure that we stay in this house for a very long time because we put so much effort and money into it.

I finally joined the gym about a month ago. I haven't lost any weight, but that's probably because I'm not eating healthy. I should do that or else I'm just burning off half of what I ate at McDonald's for lunch...LOL.

Alexa is getting older and smarter everyday. She has started to talk, but only a few words like here, shoe, cracker...etc. She LOVES to eat and has recently learned to climb out of bed, so if you put her down for nap and for the night, she will climb out a few times before she finally gives up and lays down. About a month ago, we went to Myrtle Beach and she hated the ocean, but LOVED the pool. Everytime we would get out, she would scream and pit a fit. She's like that in the bath too. She just loves water.

I'm trying to convince my husband that we should start trying for another baby. I can tell Alexa gets bored with us. Like over the weekend, she will whine and just sit there and not play because she has nobody to play with. I will try and play with her, but she gets bored with me after awhile. When she sees other kids, like when Tristyn comes over, she totally gets sooo excited. Besides, I want another child. I think we're ready.

Well that's it for now. I promise I will make more time to blog.

Alexa's First Haircut

2007-03-16T12:18:00.000-05:00

Last Monday, I took Alexa to get her first haircut! I was kind of nervous about it because her hair is short enough and I didn't want to make it shorter and have her looking like a boy, but it desperately needed a trim. Despite my mom and mother-in-law's protests, I took her to Great Clips for a little trim up. I was also nervous about her first haircut because I didn't know if Great Clips knew how to handle toddlers, but the lady was really nice. Besides, she had no trouble with Alexa; she just sat in her chair and did not even fuss.

She loves those fingers!

Looking in the mirror to make sure she is doing a good job!

The finished product!

The other day, it was so gorgeous outside that Alexa and I decided to play outside for a couple of hours. She loves being outdoors.

Look how good she is walking!

The house is slowly coming along. We painted it last weekend. I am hoping by the end of the month we can move in, but I'm not so optimistic about it. My husband is such a perfectionist that I don't think we will ever move in. Anyway, Alexa is down for a nap and I think I'm going to lay down with her.

Update

2007-02-17T07:33:00.000-05:00

Not much has happened since the last time I posted. Our house is still under construction, so we have moved in with Jeremy's aunt and uncle this past weekend. Hopefully we will have the house finished and ready to move in by the end of this month.

Alexa has grown so much since her first birthday party. I am happy to report that she is now walking. She is still a shaky walker, but only loses her balance occassionally. Needless to say, mommy does not get much relaxation time. Alexa has also found her voice. She loves to scream and talks a lot to herself. We don't understand what she is saying, but love the fact that she is expressing herself through words. She also expresses herself through pointing. She'll point to things she wants and if you say no, she will pitch a fit.

I don't know if this is just a stage, but she HATES (and I use the word hate in all caps) riding in her car seat. She will scream and arch her back so that I can't seat her in her seat. Once I've managed to get her in her seat, she will scoot herself down so I can't buckle her in. Meanwhile she is screaming through this whole process. I swear I get so embarrassed when I'm out in a public parking lot and she is doing all this. People probably think I'm killing her...gee whiz.

I can officially say my kid is a fatso. She LOVES (and this time I use the word love in all caps) to eat. She does not know the meaning of fullness and will eat until the fridge is empty. She eats everything and anything. She even has tried paper and leaves. When I'm feeding her something and I say all gone, she immediately starts pitching a fit. I'm like come on, we just ate a whole cow. I mean this girl can eat! I've started teaching her how to eat with utensils and she is catching on quickly. She loves to feed herself and is extremely well at it.

Alexa's ability to remember things is extremely high. I only have to show her something once or twice and she immediately catches on. She loves to "brush" her teeth, but really she just loves sucking the toothpaste (bubble gum flavor and safe to swallow) out of the brush. Everytime I go to the bathroom for something, she points to her toothbrush. It's just too cute!

I've been thinking a lot about having another baby. I feel like Alexa is at that age where she needs a sibling around at all times. She easily gets bored and she loves being around other kids. Her and her cousin love spending time together. They always have the best of times.

First Birthday

2006-12-31T15:35:00.000-05:00

So yesterday we celebrated Alexa's first birthday. Her birthday was actually the 29th, but we had her party yesterday. We only invited the immediate family because our apartment is small, but it was very nice. Her theme was flowers and butterflies. It worked out great like that because that was the theme of her nursery in our old house. She was a bit cranky because she did not feel too well. The day before, she went for her first year checkup and received three shots, so she was running a fever and with my mom catering to her every need, she is very spoiled! Anyway, we ate, opened presents and had cake. Alexa did not go too crazy with the cake. She put her fingers in it, but just looked at her fingers. I had to put her fingers in her mouth, but even then she really did not eat it. Here are a few pictures from the party.

I bought Alexa a tiara that says 1 on it. She looked so cute with it on! That's me, my sister, my mom and birthday girl.

In Korea, it's a tradition for kids and adults to wear these outfits during special occasions like weddings and birthdays. Since first birthdays are considered as a special occasion, my mother bought Alexa an outfit and she wore it (just for pictures).

Me and my birthday princess.

My SIL helped me put together a slideshow that shows Alexa from birth to now. It came out so great. The only thing that didn't work right is the song we downloaded for the show. It was protected and we were not allowed to use it. So we used Kenny Chesney's Me and You. It came out so well! Everything turned out great!

In other news...we bought a house! So excited to get out of this tiny apartment. We converted the dining room into Alexa's play room because she got so many toys for Christmas and her birthday. In the new house, there is a bonus room that we are going to turn into a play room. I can't wait to move in. Hope everyone had a great Christmas and a Happy New Year!

What a Bully

2006-12-14T13:57:00.000-05:00

I love watching Alexa grow into her own little person. She is starting to form a personality of her own and I am just falling more deeply in love with her each time she shows me a different part of her. Yesterday I picked her up from daycare and I noticed a scratch underneath her right eye. I'm pretty good at keeping up with her nails, so I know she didn't scratch herself. When I read her daily report card, I saw that she got into her first fight. This morning I talked to the teacher about it and she told me her and Maddie (a girl about her age) were fighting over a walker. Everytime Maddie would be walking around with it, Alexa will crawl over to her and get up on the walker and try to push it and push Maddie away. Then Maddie would do the same to Alexa. Then Alexa got into another fight with Max, another baby around her age, and that's who she received that scratch from. She is such a bully! Her sweet face sure does hide it well though doesn't it.

These pictures are from a few months back, but are some of my favs.

Bath Buddy

2006-12-05T20:52:00.000-05:00

Man...I am so bad at keeping my blog up to date. So today, I was giving Alexa a bath. I usually let her play with her bath toys for awhile before lathering her up. Well, I ran to the kitchen for something and when I came back to the bathroom, guess what I saw in the tub with her....POO! I was completely grossed out. Thankfully, it was one long poo instead of many little chunks. My wonderful husband was kind enough to pick it up with toilet paper after the tub was drained. I think I would have either passed out or threw up if I had to do it. YUCK!

In other news, miss Alexa took two steps last week all by herself. She really is growing up way too fast. When she was first born, the doctors told me she would be behind because she was born 6 weeks premature, but she is advancing well for her age. I'm so proud of her! She has also started picking up food and eating all by herself. She loves to eat...just like her mommy!

In just a matter of days, Alexa will have a brand new cousin. My SIL Taylor is being induced tomorrow with her second child! We're all so excited. Can't wait to see what this little man is going to look like. I can't wait till Alexa gets to be the age where she can play with her cousins...actually I can wait. She is growing up way too fast...hehe.

Plans have changed...I am no longer going home to visit my parents this month. I am actually going to in the middle of January. It's better this way because Jeremy is going to Arizona for work and I wasn't thrilled about staying home by myself and Alexa for the whole week, so I'll be in CT with my parents.

More updates to come and some pictures!

I'm So Excited, And I Just Can't Hide It...

2006-10-25T15:01:00.000-05:00

I am so excited!!! Alexa and I planned a trip up to CT the week before Christmas and then we are flying back down with my mom and sister. My sister is staying until New Years so we can party together and my mom is leaving the day before Jeremy's birthday, in January. I have not partied with my sister since she turned 21, now she is 22, so that will be fun. The three of us have a special bond, so I cannot wait to spend all that time with them! I also cannot wait for the four of us (mom, sister, Alexa, and I) to spend some real quality time with each other.

On a sad note, I want to ask all of you to pray for my father. He has bacteria in his ulcer that will turn into cancer if it doesn't go away. He has been taking medication, but said that he isn't feeling any better. I don't know what I would do if he is no longer with us. You know, you never think about your parents leaving. You think your parents are always going to be there, but when reality hits, it hits hard. Even though I'm a wife and mother, I still feel like a little child depending on her parents for everything. If my father leaves, who can I depend on. Please keep him in your prayers. Thank you.

Pictures!!!

2006-10-06T14:05:00.000-05:00

Daddy and his little girl

Mommy and Alexa

Look I can sit up!

Watch me crawl!

I'M BACK!!!

2006-10-05T11:42:00.000-05:00

I have to say, after a long break my fingers are well rested and my mind is full of stories. I have to say that I actually missed blogging and missed reading everyone elses. I also miss recording what I have been up to and how fast Alexa is growing up on me. I read back on my old entries and regret that I didn't keep up with it. Alexa has reached so many milestones since I stopped blogging and I didn't even take the time to write about them. Can you believe she is 9 months?! Where has the time gone. She certainly has grown into her own little person. People are telling me she is looking more like Jeremy everyday.

A lot has gone on since I wrote my last entry. We sold our house in August and now living in an apartment. Apartment life is okay except that we live on the second floor so that tends to be a pain in my ass whenever I've gone grocery shopping. Jeremy and I just celebrated our first year anniversary and we just came back from a cruise to the Bahamas and Key West. It was a ton of fun. My mother came down from CT that week to watch Alexa and now Alexa is spoiled to death. I am trying to break some of the things my mother as done such as rocking her to bed every night.

Alexa is now crawling, pulling herself up and has two teeth on the bottom. She is constantly on the move and won't let me relax for a minute. I can't even eat in peace. Well I am at work and this is all I can do for now, but I promise once I get home, I will put up some pictures. Glad to be back!

Goodbye My Friends

2006-06-10T08:26:00.000-05:00

I've decided that I am going to stop blogging. I just have no time to keep my blog updated and instead of just disappearing off the face of the planet, I thought I'd write my last entry. I want to thank everyone for their wisdom, advice and friendship. This blog has definitely given me a place to vent all my frustrations. I'll keep tabs on y'all once in awhile, and hopefully I can get back to the blogging world. Good luck to you and God bless.

Hating It, But Loving It All At The Same Time

2006-05-22T18:45:00.000-05:00

I hate that Jeremy and Alexa are in Florida and I am stuck home working all week. I hate that I come home to an empty house. I miss them soooo much. I cannot wait till they come home. On the other hand, I am loving the fact that I can come and go as I please. I don't have to wait for Jeremy to get home so I can run to the store real quick or having to wake up at 5 in the morning to feed Alexa.

They are having a great time down there. Jeremy was thinking about coming home early because he thought it was too hot for Alexa, but said she is doing extremely well. He took her out to the ocean and she cried because it was too cold. I hate that I am missing my daughter's first beach experience, but we will be taking a mother-daughter trip in July. We are going up to CT to visit my parents. I am extremely excited about that. My parents cannot wait to see her!

This past Saturday, I went to a fair with a friend. At the fair, there were tons of booths that sold personalized baby stuff. I bought a canvas with Alexa's name painted on it for her front door; a butterfly with two ribbons hanging from the wings for her hair bows, also with her name painted on it; a pink growth chart; a puzzle that spells out Alexa so that we can teach her how to spell her name; and a onesie that reads "Handmade By God". I can't wait till Jeremy gets home so that he can hang up all that stuff for me.

Hope everyone had a great Monday!

All By Myself

2006-05-18T20:58:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow Jeremy is taking Alexa with him on a trip to Florida with his mom and stepdad. I can't go since I am taking a week off in July to go visit my parents, so I will be all alone without the both of them until next Saturday. I don't know what I am going to do with myself. I guess just relax and catch up on sleeping. I have been extremely busy. I switched positions at work and this job demands a lot of time. I am more busy than I have ever been. I feel like I don't ever have time anymore to just sit and enjoy a minute to myself. I've either got laundry to do, dinner to cook, Alexa to feed, homework to do, the list never ends. I feel like it is all catching up to me and it is kicking me in the ass.

This Saturday I am going to a fair with a friend. They sell personalized stuff and I plan on getting some things for Alexa's room. I can't wait. It's going to be fun. Alexa has started on rice cereal and it's going well. She has been drooling like a mad baby, so maybe she is going to start teething. I can't believe she is already five months old. She is growing up so fast. Anyway, I thought I'd drop a line, but I really need to get some sleep. Until next time.

How Rude!

2006-05-07T10:36:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I don't understand why people say the things they say. I don't understand why people think they can say incredibility rude things to people they don't know. My friend and I went out to lunch yesterday. While we are being sitted, two older woman who were sitting at a table next to us turns around and looks at Alexa. They keep looking at her and smiling. As they are getting up to leave, one of them comes up to me and asks me if she can gawk at my baby. I said sure. She has the audacity to say you must starve her. She is dwindling down to nothing. I was astonished!!! Before I can get a word in, she says she is a beautiful baby and walks away. I am not quite sure if I heard her correctly because the restaurant was so loud. However, my friend says, did she say what I think she said? So I guess I did hear correctly. The nerve of some people!

Anyway, after lunch, we head on over to the mall and while we were in Williams Sonoma, a lady asks if she can see Alexa. So I said sure and she looks into the stroller and says she's beautiful. Then she says to Alexa, you don't miss a meal do you? On a normal day, that would be a bit offending. Are you calling my baby a fatty? But this day I proceeded to thank her and told her what the other lady said. She commented on how rude people can be. I mean Alexa is four months old and weighs 13 lbs. My goodness. I think that she is very healthy. Anyway, even though it's not true and I don't starve my baby, that lady made me feel horrible. It made me question whether I'm a good mom and if people view me that way. I don't understand why people don't think before they speak.

Where Have You Been...Not That I Missed You

2006-05-01T11:30:00.000-05:00

After three pregnancy tests and a checkup at the gyno to make sure I was alright, I finally got my cycle! I got it Friday night. I was so relieved to have gotten it! I went to the gyno last Tuesday to make sure I was okay, and the doctor gave me birth control pills to start my cycle. Well, I decided to hold off on them till Sunday and take goodness I did because I got it Friday. I really did not want to start the pill until I got my first cycle just to make sure they will going to work. I've always heard that you have to take it the Sunday after your cycle, but the doctor assured me that is not THE rule. But it doesn't matter because I feel like a woman again...LOL.

My precious Alexa is growing up. The pediatrician told me that I need to start her on a little bit of cereal. And to also give her a sippy cup just to experiment with. I probably won't start any of that until she is about five months though. She still acts like a newborn newborn, so I don't know if she is ready for all that...or maybe I'm just not ready =)

Hope everyone is having a great Monday and a great rest of the week!

Doctor Filled Day

2006-04-28T17:40:00.000-05:00

Alexa had her appointment with the specialist today. He is so young looking. He must have just graduated from med school. The doctor concludes that Alexa has acide reflux. I explained to him that I have been giving her the dissolvable Prevacid. He told me they do not work and he prescribed me liquid Prevacid. Only certain pharmacies carry it. He also prescribed Miralax to relieve her of gas and give her daily stools. He said give it a MONTH to start working, but my friend (who referred me to this doctor) said it works in two weeks. I hope it's two weeks!

While I was waiting in the waiting room, I notice a mom with her daughter who had to be about nine years old. The mom was filling out paperwork while her daughter sat next to her. After filling out the first page, the mom takes a break and says something to her daughter. They laugh. Watching them, I cannot wait till the day Alexa and I can laugh together, tell stories and spend time together as mother and daughter.

Anyway, after the appointment with the specialist, I speed to the pediatrician's office for her four month checkup. She weighs 12 lbs. 5 oz. She is 23.5 inches. She is small for her age, but then again, she is a preemie. She has a clean bill of health. They give her four shots and this is the result of a doctor filled day (and the shots helped too):

Tour de Georgia

2006-04-24T08:59:00.000-05:00

As of this weekend, I can officially say that I am an expert on the State of Georgia. I can tell you where each and every town lies in Georgia. On Friday, Taylor and I buckled up our girls and drove to Lake Hartwell to spend time with the grandparents. They rented a campground for the weekend so they could take their boat out. We ended up staying the night in their camper, along with our other SIL and her husband and Taylor's husband who came up after work. So needless to say, it was pretty tight inside the camper and we all did not get a good night's sleep.

On Saturday, I decided to leave before anyone else because I wanted to spend time with Jeremy. My other SIL gave me directions, but said she was unsure and to wait for her husband to get the correct directions. I wanted to leave right then because it was a little after 3 and if I left then, I could get home in time for Alexa's 5:00 feeding (I have to schedule my trips around Alexa's feeding schedule because there is nothing like a screaming baby in the back and nobody to calm her down). So I told her if I get lost, I can just pull over and ask for directions. How wrong was I?!?!

Not only did I get EXTREMELY (note the stress on the word) lost, but I couldn't find a single gas station for miles. I was on country roads with only one house per mile. I was also the only car on the road. I felt like I was in a scene of Children of the Corn. Anyway, I finally see an elderly couple walking in front of their house, so I pull over and ask for directions to the interstate. They had no clue what an interstate was! So I asked for the next town. Here's how the conversation went:

Me: Where is this road leading me? Is there a town coming up?

Woman to Man: Hmmmm, you know how we get to Kmart.

Me: Yes, Kmart. How do I get there?

Woman: Take a right.

Me: Okay, which right? What road?

Woman: You know, it's a right.

Well, thanks for clarifying for me, I wasn't sure which road to take...note a hint of sarcasm. So I proceed to drive endlessly on this deserted road and finally come to a small town. I stop by an antique store and ask the clerk how to get on the interstate. He told me the interstate was about 40 miles away. By this time, I have toured the whole top part of Georgia.

So finally I get on the interstate and it says Atlanta, 60 miles. WHAT?!?! So after driving about 30 miles, we come to a dead stop. There was a previous accident on the road and it was like a parking lot. So I got off the exit via an on-ramp (I was desperate) and come to a gas station. I ask the attendant if he knew the back roads to my destination and he says they will all be backed up because of this accident and it's best if I just hang out at his store for a couple of hours until the traffic dies down. Thanks but no thanks. So I ask this nice couple that were selling hot dogs and hamburgers in the parking lot and they tell me the way.

Meanwhile, all this time I am on the phone with my FIL getting directions. You see, the exit I got off of was in a town his mother lived in, so he was very familiar with the area (about time I got some luck). During this whole adventure, I was hysterically crying because I was lost, frustrated and scared. I hate getting lost and not knowing where I am going. Especially when I am in the country (and this was country country) and have no cell phone service. Plus, Alexa was crying from starvation and I was feeding her in the backseat in a ghetto (and I mean ghetto) gas station. And mind you, I was all alone.

Anyway, I finally made it home and I was relieved to see civilization. Now Jeremy knows why I don't want to move into the country. Especially after this adventure, I never want to hear country again!

Really Gonna Do It

2006-04-19T07:56:00.000-05:00

This time it will be different. No more "well the last time I dieted." I am committed to not only losing weight, but to being a healthier me. No more hitting the gym just because I want to lose the twenty pounds I gained from pregnancy, but to overall live a healthier life. I want to live a long life to be there for my Alexa and to see her grow old. I am committed.

I won't be starting a weight loss blog because I won't be able to keep up with two blogs, so it will all just have to fit here. I promise, I will still update on my life and Alexa. About two weeks ago, I got a complimentary session with a personal trainer. He taught me a lot about how to eat and how to work out. I've also learned that I weighed 134 (I'm 5 feet tall) and 29% body fat. That body fat percentage puts me in the "poor" category. He said I need to be in the "great" category which is around 12%.

I am taking small steps. I am drinking a lot of water. Thankfully, I was never a soda drinking person. I am TRYING to eat right and not eat after a certain time at night. I have been very good at will power too. I have said no to fast food quite a few times last week and this week. That is a very big step for me since I LOVE fast food.

My long term goal is to lose 30 lbs. by September. September is our 1st year wedding anniversary and two weddings. Since April is coming to a close, I have about 5 months. That equals 6 lbs. per month. That seems like a lot, but if I work hard, I might be able to achieve it. If not, I'll still feel good about myself for living a healthier life.

Thanks to Linda, I have found this motivation within myself. Knowing that I am not the only one going through something makes it that much easier to stay focused. I am not alone.

Discovery

2006-04-18T07:36:00.000-05:00

Have you ever discovered something about yourself that you didn't before? I've discovered that before I was pregnant, I was actually in good shape. I used to complain that I was fat, maybe I could have lost a couple of pounds, but I didn't look that bad. Now that I am 20 lbs. over my pre-pregnancy weight, I am looking back at my pre-pregnancy weight and thinking that is bikini material (well maybe a tankini). I look through my clothes everyday and think wow, I once fit into these....I will never again.

Being the weight I am now is very uncomfortable. I have rolls in places I never knew could have rolls and I don't move around as freely as I used to. This might sound all crazy to you, even to me. I mean it's not like I weigh 400 lbs., but this body is very different from what I am used to. I have been working out, but my next challenge is eating right and saying no to chinese food (my favorite). I hope to be back to my pre-pregnancy weight, but by that time comes, we will be ready for our next child. Then all that hard work just down the drain. But every time I look at Alexa and her sweet innocent face, I just realize that it's all worth it. I guess I'll just have to exercise for the rest of my life.

Happy Easter

2006-04-16T16:07:00.000-05:00

Happy Easter! Thanks to Taylor, I can share Alexa's three month old pictures! Thanks for scanning it for me! I can't share the big canvas one because it's just too big to scan. Sorry! Maybe I will take a picture of it and try and post it, but I'm not too sure how it will look. I'll give it a try later.

Drawing a Blank

2006-04-13T11:21:00.000-05:00

It seems like there is nothing for me to blog about these days. No exciting stories to tell, no funny jokes to share. My birthday went well. My husband took me to our favorite restaurant. It's a seafood restaurant and they have the best sushi! It never fails, but every time we go out to eat, Alexa cries. Either one of us is trying to console her or taking her outside because her cries get louder and louder.

We just got pictures back from Olan Mills. We got a huge canvas one where the background is a blown up picture of her (very faint) and then there is a sharp picture of her in a box on the left side of the canvas. She's naked in both of them, and the one in the box has a pink blanket over her. It looks really good. We are going to hang that one over the mantle.

As for my diet, I haven't lost a pound. I've been going to the gym a lot these past couple of days, but I cannot seem to say no to the foods I love. What's the point of working out if afterwards I'm going to eat a meal from McDonald's? I really need to focus and really devote myself to eating right and working out so that I can look good by September. Jeremy's cousin and my friend back home are both getting married in September, so I want to look good for that. That is my target.

Anyway, glad I am getting a three day weekend! Everyone have a great Easter!

It's My Birthday...

2006-04-11T06:48:00.000-05:00

And I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want to...you would cry to if it happened to you! I'm now living the next quarter of my life...boo hoo!

Halfway There

2006-04-05T13:38:00.000-05:00

In 6 days, I will be turning 26. I cannot believe a quarter of my life has passed. I am halfway to being over the top. Where has the time gone? What did I do these past 25 years?! It has gone by way too fast. Next thing you know, these next 25 years will past and I won't remember a damn thing about the last 50 years. All those years I wanted to grow up and be a grown up and life was just passing by too slow and here it is....26 years old. I know I know...people are probably reading this thinking what is she crazy?! She's not that old! But admit it...turning a year older does make you reminisce about the past and how young you used to be.

Alexa is doing much better now that I've changed her formula. She is hardly spitting up and is not crying like she used to. She has an appointment with a specialist at the end of April, so I'm hoping he will prescribe me the liquid Prevacid because the Prevacid she is on now does not dissolve very well in the water and therefore is not as effective.

Nothing else is going on in my life. Alexa and I will be taking a trip to CT to see my parents at the end of July and my dad just informed me that him, my mom and my sister will be coming down in December for Christmas and Alexa's 1 year birthday and my mom is going to stay for two weeks....I am so excited about that.

Bubba's Bling

2006-03-31T08:27:00.000-05:00

Last night was one of the most memorable nights of my life. It all started out with Taylor and I taking our daughters to the mall to get their Easter pictures taken together. Now mind you, I thought this was going to take a few minutes because I mean, how hard can it be to take pictures of a 3 month old (who is always sleeping) and a 1 year old (who loves getting her pictures taken). Well all I can say is I've learned something last night...I WAS TOTALLY WRONG!

It started out with Taylor and I eating dinner at the food court. Alexa fell asleep in the stroller and I was praising the Lord above that she was passed out and will be through her pictures. Well I must have spoken a little louder than I should have because here is Alexa, MAD because I woke her up. Boy she sure has an attitude! So to let me know I pissed her off, she starts WAILING! Mind you people are all around me and I feel my cheeks growing red...LOL.

So we cruise around the mall thinking that the movement will calm her down. Wrong again. So we stop by Spencer's to buy her a paci. I didn't know they sold pacis, but apparently they do. And thank the Lord above again that these pacis are rated G. So after paying $10 for a paci (I almost fainted at the counter mind you when the girl told me the total), we headed to Penneys to get their pictures taken. This is what I get for not having a paci on hand...$10 and this...

Trying to get a perfect picture was a nightmare and afterwards, Taylor convinces me to go to Claire's to get Alexa's ears pierced. Now, I've always heard that a mother can feel a daughter's pain, but never really understood it until last night. Even though I really wanted to get Alexa's ears pierced, I was making up every excuse in the world not to because I personally couldn't handle it. I was even about to leave Claire's, but wanted to be there for my daughter if she needed me. So to sum up what happened last night at Claire's, here are a couple of pictures that will speak for themselves.

This is me biting Alexa's dress trying to calm my nerves.

This is Alexa screaming because the lady was dotting her ears. She kept on dotting the left ear crooked, so I took it upon myself to take the marker and dot it myself. I think I did a pretty good job at it too!

And finally...

So what did I learn last night? Let's recap...

1. Always have that paci even if I have to be sucking on it myself to have it on hand...

2. Note to self...spencer's sells pacis if desperate...

3. Thank the Lord above for the little things because I sure was praising him a lot last night...

4. Never assume...last night did not go as how I pictured it in my mind!

5. And lastly...never piss Alexa off!

The Same Old Me

2006-03-27T16:17:00.000-05:00

So here we are at the end of March and I have made no changes to my eating habits or made an effort to hit the gym on a regular basis which is resulting in me going nowhere. I really need to stop making excuses and stop procrastinating and get my butt into a habit of eating healthy and working out. I have two weddings to attend in September and I intend to look good damn it. September is only six months away!

So an update on Alexa. She has acid reflux. She is just crying non-stop and spitting up her formula. The pediatrician prescribed Prevacid, but I don't think it's helping. A friend of mine has a child who had acid reflux the first year of his life and she had to take him to a specialist and get liquid Prevacid and change his formula, so we have an appointment with a specialist the end of April. It's so far away, but that was the earliest appointment he had. My friend said Alexa will be a totally different baby once we get the right formula and the liquid Prevacid. I sure hope so.

Alexa has just recently started to look at us and smile. Not a lot, but you can catch her at just the right moment looking at you and smiling. I sure hope she does it more often sometime soon because she looks so cute when she smiles.

Hope everyone is having a great Monday and have a great week!

Dr. Ju

2006-03-20T19:03:00.000-05:00

So it seems as if this whole household needs to see a doctor. I took Alexa to the pediatrician today to make sure she is not cranky because she is hurting. The pediatrician concluded that her crankiness is due to colic. So she prescribed prevacid. Let's pray it works! My husband is not feeling too hot himself. He has a sore throat, cough and a headache. So it seems as if I must play doctor to the both of them.

Here are some pictures of Alexa.

And my favorite...it seems as if she is singing, but it's really her trying to suck on her hand.

Quick Note

2006-03-20T12:27:00.000-05:00

This is just a quick note saying I am still here. It seems has if I am not posting often, but I just cannot find the time. Working, going to school and taking care of a now 3 month old is really taking its toll.

How does everyone like my new template? I figure now that almost all of my entries are about Alexa, I thought I would come up with a different title and template. Taylor actually came up with the name and did the template for me, so kudos to Taylor!

Alexa has been soooo cranky lately. I am beginning to think she has colic or something. She just cries and cries all day long. However, last night she did extremely well and slept through the night. I will post pictures as soon as I can find the time.

Where Are You?

2006-03-12T19:26:00.000-05:00

So this Thursday will be 11 weeks since I've had Alexa and I've yet to have a menstrual cycle. Is that weird or what? Last week I took a pregnancy test and thankfully it came back negative. I just don't know why I haven't had my cycle yet. Will it ever come back?

Man I need to get back on my dieting and exercising routine. I always do this. I get so pumped up when I first start, and then I backslide. I don't know why I always do that. I want to lose this weight before summer comes so that we can take Alexa do the beach. I don't want to miss out on things because I don't want to get into a bathing suit.

There's nothing else that is going on my with life right now. I have school tomorrow...YUCK. I want a major makeover on my blog. Maybe SOMEBODY (you know who) can help me with that. Have a great week!

MIA

2006-03-08T08:52:00.000-05:00

WOW! I can't believe I have been away for a whole month. I sure miss blogging and reading everyone else's. So why the long absence? Well, my laptop decided to burn out. Jeremy said having it on my lap just heats it up and does not let the fan that is underneath circulate air, so he said one night it was smoking and he had to take it apart and get the hard drive out so that we don't lose anything. As for Jeremy's computer, he had a virus on it and was not working for a long time, so he finally got his friend Steve to help him fix it. So now we have internet!!! I can finally live...LOL.

Well a lot has changed since the last time I posted. I got a new job, so I am back at work. Alexa has been going to Taylor's and it has been hard parting from him for so long, but at least I know she is in good hands. School has started this week, but I have not attended due to a death in the family. It is going to be hard next week going to school after working all day.

Alexa is getting so big. I can't believe how much she has grown. Last Friday we had naked pictures done of her, and I cannot wait to see them. She can lift her head up like a champ and she is just getting so big. Her 2 month checkup appointment leaves her at 9 lbs. 11 oz. and 20.5 inches long. She is just growing up too fast. Here are some latest pictures of her.

A New Month, A New Me

2006-02-08T19:36:00.000-05:00

Since February 1, I have decided to change something about myself...my weight. Since February 1, I have been eating right and working out. I have been so focused and motivated. Why this sudden change? There are many reasons, but my main reason is because I hate standing in front of my closet for hours trying to find something to wear and always failing. I always complain that I have no clothes, but the real reason is that I can't fit into anything. The pregnancy weight I've added on doesn't help either.

There are also events that are coming up that is motivating me to work out. My birthday, the summer, and Jeremy's cousin's wedding and my friend's wedding in September. Hopefully I won't lose my focus and go back to my old self.

To help me stay focused and motivated, I am going to award myself. I want to lose 20 lbs., so when I lose half of it, I am going to buy myself an expensive watch that I really want from a jewelry store. When I lose the other half, I am going to treat myself to a shopping spree. I am excited about my new transformation. Hopefully I will stick to it.

A Month Ago

2006-01-29T16:07:00.000-05:00

I can't believe that a month ago, I became a mom. A month ago, I felt a new kind of love that I have never felt before. I can't put into words how much I love this little girl, but I just love her. I can't believe a whole month has passed. Time sure flies when you are having fun.

Here's Alexa, a whole month old!

She's working on lifting her head. She is doing very well at it too.

And last by not least, the picture I've been waiting for. See, she likes to smile and laugh while sleeping and I've been wanting to take a picture of her doing it, but always missed my chance. Well today, I sat next to her for a good while with the camera to my eye in case she did it. The results...

Ouch!

2006-01-27T18:42:00.000-05:00

Somebody once told me that the best time to cut an infant's nails is when they are asleep. That's when they are still and you are less likely to clip their skin. Well, I cut Alexa's nails about a week and a half after she was born, and I found it pretty easy. Today after her bath, she fell asleep. I took this opportunity to give her nails a trim. I felt confident and less nervous this time around because I have done it once successfully. I was on my last finger when all of a sudden, she flinched and started to cry. Once I calmed her down, I went back to that finger and realized that I cut her skin. It started to bleed, not much, but enough to make me feel so awful.

She had her month old checkup appointment today. Guess how much she weighs...6 lbs 14 oz! I can't believe it. I can't believe she is almost 7 lbs. I figured she gained weight because her face looks a little chubbier and she has a double chin now, but I wasn't for sure. The doctor said she looks great and very healthy.

In a month, she will go back to get her second round of the hepatitis shot. We will see how that goes!

Baaaaaa

2006-01-25T10:20:00.000-05:00

This is so cute that I have to share with everyone...

While Alexa is asleep, she will once in awhile baaa like a sheep. She literally sounds like a sheep when she does that. It is just too cute.

Over the weekend, I met one of my fellow blogger friends, Diana at Tristyn's birthday party. It felt like I have known her forever, even though it was my first time meeting her. She is as sweet and as beautiful as her blog portrays her. I also had the privilege of meeting her daughter Destiny, who is so adorable and so well mannered.

Well I'm going to go spend some more time with Alexa. I'll leave with you my favorite picture...

Almost a Week

2006-01-20T14:41:00.000-05:00

So it's been almost a week now that my mom has been gone. It was hard the first couple of days, but I have gotten into a bit of a routine and it is not that hard to get up in the middle of the night anymore. Alexa is doing great. She is still eating like a champ...drinking 3 oz. in less than 30 minutes. I have decided to stop with the breast milk. I know I should probably stick with it, but it is very stressful and it takes a lot out of me to pump every 3 hours. I have been trying everyday to nurse Alexa, but she isn't getting what she needs and is too tired afterwards to take a bottle as a supplement, so I decided to quit. I do not pump as often as I used to, so now Alexa is being fed formula every other feeding. Soon it will go down to just formula. I'm just waiting for my milk supply to decrease. I tried the best that I could and maybe I could have tried a little harder, but I just don't have the energy anymore.

I am also in search of a new job. I am tired of traveling to Midtown everyday and especially with Alexa here, I want to be closer in case of emergencies. Speaking of going back to work, my friend, who was suppose to watch Alexa when I go back to work, informed me today that she no longer can't because a parent that she is currently working for are having another baby. Therefore, she has no room for Alexa since she does not have a license. I wish I could stay home, but we can't afford to. We do have someone in mind though...you know who you are.

Well, wish me luck on finding a new job!

Birthday Wishes!

2006-01-17T17:53:00.000-05:00

Birthday wishes go out to my favorite niece Tristyn.

Happy Birthday! Can't wait to see you at your birthday party!

2.5 Weeks

2006-01-16T12:30:00.000-05:00

Here is Alexa at 2.5 weeks old!

My mom went home yesterday. Today is my first day alone with her. I don't quite have a routine going with her, but I will figure one out. It is nice though spending this quality time with her...just us. She doesn't cry at all unless I am taking too long getting her bottle warmed up or taking too long changing her diaper. She's so impatient! But she sounds so cute when she is crying. Well she's waking up and it's almost time for her to eat, so let me go!

First Doctor's Appointment

2006-01-12T21:29:00.000-05:00

Today was Alexa's first doctor's appointment. It went extremely well. She gained 7 oz. and is an ounce over her birth weight. She shrunk an inch though. When she was born, she was 19 in. and now she is 18 in. I think it's because her conehead went down a lot since she was born. The pediatrician said that since she was gaining a good amount of weight, I don't have to wake her up every three hours at night to feed her. If she looks content sleeping, let her sleep, but do not go over five hours without feeding her at night. My mom has been keeping her with her at nights so I can get some sleep and my mom said that last night, Alexa would not wake up for her feeding, and my mom had to force her awake so she can eat and she did not eat too well. So the pediatrician said just to let her sleep.

Her cord fell off today. When I undressed her at the doctor's office, I noticed that her cord was gone and I asked my mom when it fell off and she remembered it being intact when she last changed her diaper. So we looked in her onesie and it was attached to it. So I am happy to say that she has a cute little belly button. Jeremy wants to save it, but I think it's gross.

The doctor said we should increase the amount of milk we put in her bottle. We have been feeding her 60 cc, but my mom last night fed her about 80 cc. She took it all. So the doctor said to increase it and give her as much as she wants. She also said that since Alexa is on breast milk, we should give her a multivitamin once a day, which confuses me because I thought breast milk was better than formula. Since Alexa has been drinking so much milk, my supply that I had stacked up is nearly gone, which brings me to my next topic...

I want to stop pumping. I try to breastfeed Alexa, but she doesn't seem to do very well. She gets tired after one breast. I know it takes time, but I am really tired of pumping every three hours. I want to stop pumping and give Alexa formula. Is that selfish of me? The reason I started in the first place was to give her the colostrum, but now that that is gone, it feels pointless in giving her breast milk, especially since the pediatrician is telling me she needs a multivitamin. Do y'all think Alexa will transition well to formula? I guess so because that is what they were giving her at the NICU unit before I started giving them what I had pumped. I need help. I want the best for my daughter, but pumping just really wears me out. What should I do?

She's Home!

2006-01-09T12:27:00.000-05:00

I am happy to report that Alexa came home on Saturday. Jeremy and I picked her up at the hospital around noon. She is adjusting well to her new surroundings and Jeremy and I are so happy she is finally with us. It has been easy so far with her, but I know once my mom leaves, things will be different. I don't sleep very much at nights because I have to wake up every two hours to pump, change her diaper, feed her, tuck her back in bed and then clean up, but during the day, my mom switches with me so I can sleep. I still have to wake up every three hours to pump, but at least I can go right back to bed afterwards. I have been doing laundry every minute of everyday because Alexa likes to shoot into the open air. Once her diaper is off, she lets loose. Yesterday she got it all over my clothes.

We had our first scare this morning. My mom fed her and laid her back in the bassinett and I slipped into the shower. When I got out, I heard her fussing and then crying. I ran over to her and she is spitting up her milk and it was also coming out of her nose. I yelled for my mom, tipped her on her side and then used that suction pump they gave me to get it out of her nose and mouth. She was crying so badly and it was making me nervous. I finally got it all out, thank the Lord. She never cries, so it was a little nerve wrecking when she did.

The thing I love most about her is while she is sleeping, she will grin or have a huge smile with her mouth wide open. She is so cute when she does that. I am going to have to catch her at that exact moment and take a picture because she looks so adorable when she does it.

Well let me go take a nap before night falls.

The Moment We Have Been Waiting For...

2006-01-06T17:32:00.000-05:00

Alexa gets to come home tomorrow! Jan, the nurse practitioner who assesses her everyday, called today and said that she is doing extremely well and is taking all of her bottles, so she is going to be discharged tomorrow. She would be discharged today, but she hasn't gained any weight, so they want to keep her there tonight to see if she will gain any weight. That's okay with us because we still have a few more things to do in her room and we also have to pick up her piggy bank that we had personalized for her, and that store is near the hospital, so tomorrow works out best for us. Also, tomorrow is Jeremy's birthday and this is a great birthday present for him. She will be home to celebrate her daddy's birthday! Jan told us just to call tomorrow to set up an appointment with her nurse so we can do the one hour car seat test and then go over discharge information. I'll probably set my alarm to 6:00 a.m. so we can get her early. I probably won't even be able to sleep!

I am kind of nervous about her coming home though. I don't know if I will do a good job. I've been waiting for this moment since last Thursday, and now that she is finally coming home, I am getting nervous. Especially since she is a preemie, I don't know if the house will be too cold/hot for her, if she will eat well for us, etc. I hope my maternal instincts kick in soon and being a mother will come easy to me.

Another great news. My insurance called me today and said that the accident was not my fault, so that girl's insurance should cover my damages and my insurance will not go up. I am happy about that.

I also dropped my courses for this semester so I can focus my whole attention on Alexa. Before I had her, I thought I can be supermom. Work full time, then go to school at nights, but ever since I had her, I just want to be near her 24/7. Especially with what we have been going through this past week, I don't know if I could have kept up on my school work. I would rather drop this semester than fail and lose my Hope scholarship.

Having my mom here has been great. She does everything: laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning. I just sit here on the couch and ask her to bring me things. It's like having a maid. I am so glad Alexa will be home so that my mom could spend time with her before she goes home. I am especially glad that we can hold her, change her diaper and stuff like that without all the wires. I will update everyone as to how it is going with her at home. Thanks to everyone for their prayers.

A Rollercoaster

2006-01-06T11:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, my stress level was like a rollercoaster. One minute I would be stress free, the next minute my stress level will be at its highest. It started in the morning. My mother and I go down to the hospital to see Alexa and the nurse tells me she has had four bottles in a row. Taking 35 cc in less than 30 minutes. I breastfed her at noon and she feeds for 15 minutes and then takes another 32 cc from the bottle as a supplement. Everything is going great. We stick around until 3 so I can feed her the bottle and she takes 33 cc.

We leave around 4 and while driving home on GA 400, this lady loses control of her car, crosses two lanes of traffic and hits the truck in front of me. Going 60-65 miles per hour, I could not stop in time, so I hit him. My brand new 2.5 month old Tahoe is crushed on the left side of the hood. I am shaking and my stress level goes up to the max. The cop comes, gives me a court date and says the insurance companies will come up with who has to pay for the damages on my car. It better be that girl's insurance. But still, I think our insurance will go up for this.

Then I get home and Jeremy's mother tells me that at 6 p.m., Alexa only drank 20 cc (Jeremy's mom and stepfather went up to see her last night), and if she doesn't take the next 15 with Laurie, her nurse, then they will tube feed her. There goes my stress level. I don't want her being tube fed anymore because she was doing so well. She had 6 bottles straight in a row with no problems and taking it all in.

Well, last night I called and her nurse told me that she was doing great and she just needed a little rest before her feedings. When my mother and I went up there about 11:30, she was held by either my mom or I for 4 hours, so that is why she only took 20 cc at 6:00 p.m. But her nurse did inform me that Laurie tried to give her the other 15 cc by bottle and she took 13 cc, so that was close enough. Then her 9:00 feeding, she took 40 cc. So she is doing extremely well. That would have been her 9th bottle in a row.

This morning I called and she has Laurie again as her nurse, which is so strange because she never has the same nurse twice. But I am glad because Laurie is great with her. She tells me she had the bottle all night and did wonderfully. She has been taking in more than 40 cc. She said her jaundice is still low, at a 8.4, and if she does well all day today, she might come home tonight or tomorrow morning. Let's pray for tonight because Jan, the nurse practitioner, said she only need 8 in a row and if she does well all day today, she should have taken in like 12 in a row. We will see what Jan says after she assesses her today.

Thanks to everyone who has been keeping us in your prayers. I am truly grateful for everyone's support.

Update

2006-01-04T19:22:00.000-05:00

It has been a tiring week. Jeremy, my mom and I have been driving to the hospital everyday this week to see Alexa. She has made a lot of improvements. Her jaundice level has gone down, so they took her off the light treatment which gives her more energy to eat; she is in a regular bed and has been able to keep her temperature; she is breathing well on her own; and she is breastfeeding very well. The nurses are saying she has a good strong suck. She has been downing all of her bottles within a matter of 15 minutes. However, the doctor wants to see her drink 8 bottles in one day for them to release her. But the problem is, the doctor has only ordered 4-6 bottles a day. The nurses are feeding her the bottle every other feeding. The rest is done by tubes. Therefore, the nurses are only giving her the bare minimum that the doctor has ordered. I have a feeling she is going to be in there for a long time because of how slow the hospital are taking things. Jeremy and I would like for them to give her a bottle every feeding and IF she happens to not drink it all, then tube the rest. The nurse told us today that once all the antibiotics, that they pumped into her the first few days, are out of her system, then she will have more energy and will be able to take more bottles. One major improvement is that she got transferred to a less critical unit of the preemie nursery, which is a sign that she is doing very well.

I miss her. I am so ready to be a mom, but with her not next to me, it is so hard for me to feel like one. After leaving the hospital, I cried because I can't be with her 24/7. I don't want her to think we are deserting her nor do I want her to feel unloved or alone. The nurses don't hold her. They don't have the time to love her with all the other babies. Jeremy and I are only allowed to hold her for so long because she needs her rest. I just hate leaving her there with no one to love her.

Everyone raves about how great Northside is. We hate it. Alexa has a really bad diaper rash because the nurses change her every 3 hours. They let her sit in her own crap for three hours. I wish they would change her more often, especially since she has that bad rash. I just can't wait to take her home and take good care of her.

I want to end in a happy note. Jeremy and I got a new camera and a camcorder. We are ready to film our little girl coming home!

Introducing...

2005-12-31T22:12:00.000-05:00

Miss Alexa Leigh!

She was born on December 29, 2005 at 3:22 p.m. She weighed in at 5 lbs 6 oz. and was 19 inches. Here is her birth story...

On Monday night, December 26, I was not feeling too well. I don't know what it was, but I just wasn't feeling like myself. On Tuesday morning, I woke up with some of my mucus plug coming out with some blood with it. I was having contractions throughout the day, but they were not regular. On Wednesday I was having contractions all day long, so at 7 p.m. I decided to time them. They were about 6-7 minutes apart. I called the doc and she told me to take a hot bath and drink plenty of water. I did as told, but it didn't help. They were not that painful and I had the 34 checkup appointment the next day, so I decided to deal with them. About midnight, I could not take it anymore. They were painful and were about 5 minutes apart. I called the doc again and she told me to go to the hospital and get checked out. We arrived at Northside around 1:30 a.m. and was told that I was 4 cm dialated! I couldn't believe it. I thought I was being silly for going in and that they were going to tell me they were just braxton hicks and send me on my way. Boy was I wrong! So they tried to stop the labor by giving me some shots, but that didn't help. So they just decided to let me have the baby since I was 34 weeks. So we got sent to the real delivery room and got prepped up. They gave me the epi, broke my water, blah blah blah, and we just waited. The doc said we would be lucky if she was born by 7 p.m. We thought we were in for a long delivery. However, around 3 p.m., the nurse decided to empty my bladder, and when she was down there, she said she saw the head, so they prepped up for delivery. It was hard to feel myself pushing because the epidural made me so numb, but she came out at 3:22 p.m. The doc said she practically crawled out herself. I was delivered by midwife Becky. All the nurses were very sweet and I actually had a great time. I was actually up and walking in no time. I wasn't in any pain at all except for some cramping, which I still have.

She is a preemie, but she is doing extremely well. The doc did an x-ray of her lungs and her brain, and he said everything has developed wonderfully. The lungs could have used a couple of more weeks of developing, but she will be just fine. No long term effects. She breathes fine on her own. However, during feedings, she doesn't grasp sucking and breathing at the same time, so the first couple of days, she was being fed through a tube. However, she started on bottles today and she was able to suck and breathe at the same time, so the nurse and the doc both think she will be able to come home by Tuesday or Wednesday. Originally, they said a couple of weeks, so we are extremely happy and proud of our little girl.

The first day was very hard for me. I cried all day. I was able to hold her for a minute after she was born, but didn't get to see or hold her for a long time after that. When I was finally able to see her, she had an IV that was in her head and that just made me cry even more. Today was especially hard because we were discharged and had to leave her behind. I cried right there in the NICU unit. The nurse cried with me because she knew how I was feeling. I cried a lot tonight also. I just miss her so much.

Tomorrow they are taking the IV out, so they are going to take her hospital pictures. Also, I will meet with a lactation nurse so she can teach me how to breastfeed Alexa. On Monday, Jeremy and I have to take an infant CPR class (they will not release her unless we do) and hopefully on Tuesday, we can take her home. I really want her home to celebrate her daddy's birthday on January 7.

Some good news. My mother flew down yesterday and is staying with us until January 15. That will be a big tremendous help. She just fell in love with Alexa. She thinks she is just the most beautiful thing in the world.

One more thing...HAPPY NEW YEAR!

The Sweetest Thing

2005-12-23T15:06:00.000-05:00

This was so sweet that I thought I'd share with everyone. While laying in bed this morning, Jeremy rolls over and puts his hand on my stomach. He loves to feel Alexa first thing in the morning. Out of nowhere he says "thank you for carrying my baby". I thought that was so sweet. I didn't think he noticed all the bathroom breaks and the aches and pains I am going through, but I guess he does, and he was letting me know he appreciated it. HOW SWEET!

Merry Christmas!

2005-12-22T19:02:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas! I know it's not Christmas just yet, but since we all will be so busy this weekend, I thought I'd go ahead and say it anyway. So...Merry Christmas!!! I am so bored. I have been stuck in our bedroom these past two nights because our living room is all messy. Jeremy bought a new surround sound for the living room and so things are scattered around everywhere. He is building a shelf tonight so hopefully by tomorrow, everything will be back to order. It sucks that everyone has tomorrow off and I have to work. I have Monday and Tuesday off instead of Friday and Monday. But I'm only going to work half a day tomorrow.

Good news! Our photographer called and said our wedding pictures are ready. We are going to pick them up Saturday morning before we go to Jeremy's mom's house for Christmas because the photographer lives up near her. We have the pictures uploaded on the internet for family to view and order, so I will post some pictures on here once I get the website address.

We are going to be so busy these last few days of December and all of January that Alexa will be here before we know it. This weekend is Christmas, next weekend is New Years, the weekend after that is Jeremy's birthday, nothing the next weekend, the weekend after that is Tristyn's birthday party and my brother-in-law's birthday, and then Alexa will be here two weeks after that. I can't believe how fast January is going to past. I have been having braxton hicks contractions often lately, and I don't know how I am going to handle the real thing. I am getting very nervous every week that passes. I don't know how I am going to do it. Hopefully Jeremy will be a great coach.

Once again...MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Ready for Christmas

2005-12-18T21:05:00.000-05:00

Our weekend was filled with endless fun and we finally finished our Christmas shopping! On Friday night, Jeremy and I had the privilege of babysitting Miss Little Tristyn. She was a doll. We had a great time! We just love seeing her.

On Saturday, we got up early and went to the mall to finish our Christmas shopping. Afterwards, we headed over to Jeremy's neighborhood so that he can show me some houses that he is building (he's a builder for Ryland Homes). Some of those homes are gorgeous, and he wanted to show me the kind of house he would build for us when that time comes. Afterwards we went and got our nails and toes done. Yes, WE. Jeremy and I both got a manicure and pedicure. Jeremy's first time. The real reason he wanted a pedicure was for the massage. He loved it. After being pampered, we headed to Chili's for dinner. We wanted to go watch The Family Stone afterwards, but we wouldn't have made it on time. So we went to Blockbuster instead and rented The Island (stupid) and The Skeleton Key (okay).

On Sunday, we woke up early and headed to Church. Our preacher was not there because there was an infant death in his family. That's so sad. Afterwards we came home and a couple of my friends came over. One of my friends is a painter and she came over to paint butterflies in the nursery. It looks really good.

I haven't had a fun weekend in awhile. We usually just relax and sit around and do nothing, but we've kept ourselves busy this weekend. One more week of work and I have a four day weekend. Can't wait. Hope everyone had a great weekend and have a great week!

32 Weeks

2005-12-16T08:47:00.000-05:00

So I woke up this morning with Jeremy telling me not to go to work today...NO problem with that! See, he leaves for work before me and he saw 5 accidents on the way to work. He said the roads were really icy. So I turn on the news and there were tons of school delays and closings and tons of accidents. God was on my side this morning.

I had my 32 week appointment yesterday. Taylor had come over early yesterday afternoon because her power went out, so she drove me to the appointment. I told her it's the usual checkup, nothing new and I wish they will tell me something different than everything is fine. I mean I love to hear that Alexa is doing wonderfully, but I guess it's the same old thing each time. So at this appointment, my wish came true. The nurse tells me I have sugar in my urine and something called k-tones? I don't know if I'm saying it right. I'm just spelling it the way she told me. Then she said I lost a couple of pounds. So here I am freaking out because she seems concerned and I just wanted to punch myself for saying what I said to Taylor about how I wish the doctor would tell me something different at this appointment. But when I got to see the midwife, she said everything was fine. I had sugar in my urine because I had fried rice for lunch and that is a carbohydrate and that breaks down as sugar and the reason for the k-tones is because I am dehydrated. Needless to say, from now on, all I want to hear is everything sounds great!

Glad it's Friday. We are going to finish our Christmas shopping tomorrow. I love shopping and I love wrapping presents while listening to Christmas music. It gets me in the spirit. Anyway, my favorite show, A Baby Story, is about to come on, so I'm going to sign off for now.

Finally Decorated

2005-12-11T13:32:00.000-05:00

We finally got our house decorated. The one of the Christmas tree is sideways and I didn't know how to turn it, so I'm afraid you will just have to turn your head to see it. I'm going to have to get together with Taylor and ask her about loading these pictures onto these blogs because I still can't figure out how to put text, then picture, then text again. It seems like all my pictures get moved up to the top even though I type something first. Anyway, Jeremy and I finally got off our lazy butts and decorated the front of the house, the inside and finally put up the Christmas tree.

There's been such a commotion on artificial trees this year that we decided to purchase a real one. Jeremy is scared, as well as I, when we've heard that artificial trees can cause birth defects that we just went ahead and bought a real one. We were going to wait till next year to get a real one, but this year is fine too. I actually like the real one better because you can stick the lights inside the tree instead of hanging them on the branches like the artificial ones do. This is actually my first year having a real Christmas tree. My family always had fake ones.

No new news on the baby. Everything is still going great. My neighbor just had her baby a few days ago. She was due at the end of this month, but her little girl decided to come before Christmas so she can get some presents...haha. I am getting excited, but a little nervous and anxious at the same time. I only have 8 more weeks to go. I had tons of dreams about the baby. One dream I had, she turned out to be a he. The second dream, someone else had our baby and I was still pregnant. The third dream was that she had brown hair and blue eyes. Such weird dreams. Next week is finals and then Christmas break. After that, I start my online classes. I'm so glad I don't have to travel to campus for awhile. I'm going to enjoy that.

Well, hope everything has a great week!

Speaking Too Soon

2005-12-01T21:44:00.000-05:00

So here I am at 30 weeks and I thought I was in the clear. Not a hint of stretch marks, pimples or back pain (the usual complaints about pregnancy). Well, let me say that I spoke too soon...way too soon. I practically jinxed myself. I found a small stretch mark about a week ago next to my belly button, and it is sort of spreading. There are a couple more right next to the original one. I have a few pimples breaking through on my face and a couple on my back. And to make matters worse, I have to attend a Christmas party that Jeremy's company is throwing tomorrow night. First time meeting these people and I am not looking my best self. Tonight Jeremy and I went to the mall to find an outfit for me to wear. Went to JC Penney's (they are having a HUGE sale) and bought a pair of black pants and a red sweater. I tried it on and can I say beach whale. Yes, the sweater is the clinging one and I just look huge. Jeremy liked it because he thinks red looks great on me. Seeing myself in that outfit really made me realize how big and pregnant I am looking.

Don't get me wrong. I love being pregnant and I wouldn't trade in this moment for anything in the world. And I know this is going to be all worth it, but I've grown up chubby all my life and I just feel that embarrassment and insecurity I felt during my chubby years.

Some good news. Alexa is moving like crazy. She is no longer kicking, but moving. I feel a lot of waves in my stomach. I even see her moving when I look at my stomach. At my doctor's appointment the other day, the doctor was using the heartbeat monitor and Alexa kicked it. I swear, she is going to have a temper just like her dad. I can't wait to see her.

Thanks to everyone for their kind words on my previous blog. Maybe it was a little inappropriate of me to share my intimate problem, but I just wanted assurance that I wasn't going crazy with all this hormonal stuff. I mean I feel like such a cry baby because I cry about everything, but I guess that's normal. Well thanks again!

30 Weeks

2005-11-30T12:01:00.000-05:00

I can't believe I am 30 weeks. Time has just flown by. I can't believe in less than 3 months, I will be a mom. Kind of scary if you ask me. But we're both very excited!

I had my 30 week appointment yesterday. Doctor said everything looks perfect. My mom plans on flying down February 3 through February 12, so I asked the doctor if maybe I can be induced and she said she can't make any promises and we will just have to see how baby and I are doing when it gets closer to the time. I talked to Jeremy about it last night and he's not too happy with me getting induced. He thinks I'm playing God and deciding our daughter's birthday. Maybe I'll just have my mom come down the week after, just in case I am overdue, which is the case for most first time mothers. Besides, I do want to go into labor naturally.

I've been an emotional wreck lately. I don't know why, but I cry over EVERYTHING. I mostly feel insecure and unattractive. Jeremy and I haven't been intimate in forever and he says it's because he doesn't want to hurt the baby, but I guess my hormones are telling me something different. I hope this all passes because I hate feeling this way. Sometimes I feel so selfish for the way I feel. I should be grateful for having Jeremy in my life and not letting a lack of intimacy play with my emotions. I hope after Alexa is here, everything will be normal again.

The Nursery

2005-11-19T11:54:00.000-05:00

As promised, here are some pictures of the nursery. I am very proud of it because everything was done ourselves. Putting up the trim, painting, putting together the furniture. It took a lot of late nights after work, but finally it's complete and we are so in love with it.

Truly Blessed

2005-11-14T11:13:00.000-05:00

Ever since I became pregnant, I've realized how lucky I am. I've had an easy pregnancy so far with no complications, a husband who adores me and his unborn child, and a family that has been kind and supportive throughout this whole journey. I thank God everyday for truly blessing us with wonderful friends and family.

Moving down here on my own has been difficult. It can get lonely and very depressing, especially during the holidays. However, Jeremy's family has taken me in and has treated me like one of their own. It really touches me to know how much they care for me. The reason for this entry is because my two sister-in-laws, Taylor and Alea, and my two good friends, Nicole and Kris Anne, threw me a baby shower this past Saturday. Everything was beautiful and it was just a perfect day. I couldn't have asked for anything more.

Their thoughtfulness, hard work, and generosity really touched me in a way that I cannot explain. I cannot explain into words how much it means to me that they have gone through all that trouble to make that day so special for me. I cannot thank them enough for really making me and Alexa feel special. Thinking about it brings tears to my eyes because I just cannot believe how thoughtful they were to have put all that together just for me. I am truly blessed.

Official

2005-11-05T19:05:00.000-05:00

Okay folks, it's official. We have finally come up with a full name for our angel. Her name will be Alexa Leigh Bottoms. I have been waiting a while for my mom to come up with a middle name. I really wanted her to have a Korean name, but my mom just could not come up with anything that flowed well with Alexa. So going with my original middle name, I told my mom that I will just name her Lee, since that is my mother's maiden name. However, she informed me that in the Korean custom, you can only use the last name as the middle name only if it's the father's last name. Therefore, she told me I couldn't spell it Lee, so I decided to spell it Leigh. What does everyone think?

We really like it. I think it flows well and sounds really pretty. So there we have it folks. She finally has an identity!

Bored

2005-11-03T08:53:00.000-05:00

So here I am at work, bored to death. I really do hate my job. I work as a file clerk at a law firm and there is not much to do, so the majority of my time is spent on the internet just searching useless things. Once Alexa is here, I am going to start looking for another job. I like to be kept busy so that the time flies by, but here I am busy probably an hour of my eight hour shift. It really sucks.

I started reading again. I just finished a book called Dress Your Family in Corduroys and Blue Jeans. My neighbor lent it to me and I finished it in two days. It's funny, but not as funny as my neighbor made it out to be. Now I'm starting True Believer by Nicholas Sparks (I'm sure you've read that one Taylor). I'm only on Chapter 2, but I love his books, so I'm sure I'll love this one.

Jeremy and I are trying to buy a new car. We looking at SUV's because they are safer once Alexa is born. Surprisingly, insurance will not increase all that much if we go from my Civic to a bigger car. The problem is the monthly payment. I really don't want anything more than what I am paying now. I know that's unrealistic since SUV's cost a lot more than my Civic, but my neighbor works for Lou Sobh Chevrolet and he is looking to get us a great deal. We test drove an Envoy Denali last weekend and I absolutely love it. We've been working with our neighbor all this week to see what he can do for us to make our monthly payments a little cheaper than what they quoted us last weekend. If it can't be what we want, then we might just go to the lower end of an Envoy. The Denali's are the top of the line ones and I don't think we really need that one, I just really want that one...LOL.

Anyway, that's what's been going on in my life. I know, boring. No further news about Alexa. She's doing great. Jeremy got to feel her move last week. He's been feeling her kick for the past couple weeks, but last week he got to feel her actually move. He said it feels like a wave rolling in, which it does. We're both so excited about the birth. I can't wait. I will post pictures soon once Jeremy caulks the trim and touches up the walls, I promise.

25 Weeks

2005-10-27T17:40:00.000-05:00

Today I had my 25 week appointment. Everything is good. I am measuring right at my date and I got to hear her heartbeat. It was slower than normal though. The past couple of times I've listened to it, it was beating at 160 bpm, but today it was beating at 140 bpm. That makes me a little worried. According to the old wives tale, that should mean it is going to be a boy. Hmmm, that makes me wonder. I hope I'm not one of those mothers that were expecting one gender, but got the other...LOL. On a good note, I only gained two pounds from my last appointment. I don't know how. I've been eating so unhealthy. So far, I have gained altogether 21 pounds. The midwife said I have 15 more to work with. I think in the third trimester, the baby gaines a half a pound per week. That's probably where the 15 pounds will come from.

I can't believe that in a couple of weeks, I will be in my third trimester. It's funny...I thought that last trimester will never come, but then again it has come so fast. I can't believe I will be having a baby in three months. It just went by so fast. I can't believe it. I am in shock. I have my glucose tolerance test in two weeks. From now on, I have appointments every two weeks. It's definitely going to go by faster now!

As for the nursery, we are almost finished. We have the all the trim up, the crown molding up, and even have the border painted on. However, Jeremy has to paint all the trim white and touch up the wall because there are so many nail pops. Jeremy also finished the backyard last weekend. It looks so great. We finally have a backyard where Alexa can play. He also planted ten trees where the backyard ends. It looks really good. I am so proud of him. Some more great news. We ordered our crib set. We got a great deal and it's all white. I'm so excited! I will post pictures soon of the nursery, I promise!

Another good note...I was worried that my insurance wouldn't cover my delivery if I happen to end up with a midwife. So I voiced my concern today at the appointment and they said that if Dr. Grogan can't be there and they have to send a midwife, they will bill it under the doctor so that it makes it seem like Dr. Grogan delivered me. That way insurance will cover it! They said they've had that problem before. See, besides Dr. Grogan, there is only one other female doctor and if she's not available, I will feel uncomfortable having a male doctor. So I would definitely want a midwife.

Well, that's it for now. Wish me luck on my glucose tolerance test. I am a little worried. I had sugar in my urine today and I didn't have anything sweet to eat or drink today, so I was surprised when they found sugar in my urine. Hopefully it's nothing. But I do eat a lot of sugar. My current obsession is frozen pops!

Too Nice

2005-10-21T07:26:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I hate myself for being so nice. This morning I was sitting at a red light, and some woman who wasn't paying attention bumped me. I get out of the car and she asks me if I want to pull over. I go over to the back of my car and see that there is nothing there (mind you, it's 6:30 am and still dark), so I tell her it's no big deal, don't worry about it. When I arrive at the MARTA station, I notice that I have two screw dents from her license plate. Most of you are probably thinking that's no big deal, but I've had this car for a little over two years and I have yet to have even the tiniest scratch on it. So I start getting all upset and crying because these two dents are a big deal and I was so stupid to tell her don't worry about it. As usual, I was being so sweet and I just hate myself today for it. Of course, Jeremy is all upset because he thinks I should have called the police and everything. But dumb old me just let it go and now I'm paying for it.

Some good news. Jeremy put up the chair rail molding yesterday and it looks great. Our neighbor Mike is going to help him put up the crown Saturday night. Also, Jeremy's uncle Joe came over last night with his bulldozer and leveled our backyard for us. See, our background is just a big hill, so we got a bunch of dirt poured into our backyard and we've been waiting months for Joe to come over and level it out so we can put sod down. So it's leveled and all Jeremy has to do is put sod down. Now we have a backyard for Alexa to play in. Finally, the outside of our house is coming together.

My First Project

2005-10-15T21:27:00.000-05:00

Man, I forgot how much I LOVE to shop. I don't get to do it that often, so when I finally get to splurge a little, I forget how much I miss shopping. Well, as you all know, Jeremy is down in Macon for the weekend to attend a concert with our neighbor and some of his friends. I went to Michaels to try and see if I can get a book on crocheting, but it was way too difficult so I decided I won't even go there. So I decided to pick up another project...the nursery. I called up my friend Kris Anne, and we decided to go to Target, buy a ruffle that goes with the bedding and head over to Home Depot and get two colors that we can paint the nursery with. The ruffle is striped with four different colors...lavendar, pink, green and yellow. So we decided to paint the bottom half lavendar and the top half pink. Jeremy is going to put chair rail molding in the middle and crown on top. Jeremy promised me that when he returns home on Sunday, he will touch up the paint and run to Home Depot to get the molding so we can finish the nursery.

Today, Kris Anne and I decided to go on a shopping spree. We hit a couple of consignment shops and a lot of stores. I bought a couple of clothes for Alexa and some accessories to go into the nursery. I bought this really cute floor lamp that is just adorable. I will post pictures of the nursery after Jeremy finishes it on Sunday and the lamp because it is just too cute. I of course had to buy something for myself, so I got a pair of shoes and a purse.

I am so excited about getting this nursery started. Jeremy has been procrastinating, but since we've got the room painted, Jeremy is really excited about finishing it. Starting the nursery just makes this all the more real.

This morning, before Jeremy left, Alexa was kicking like crazy. She's getting to the point where her kicks are becoming stronger that Jeremy can feel them right away. However, this morning as I was laying in bed watching Jeremy pack, I felt Alexa kick. So I put my hand on the side of my stomach and when she kicked again, I actually felt a body part jabbing me. It was kind of weird, but at the same time awesome.

We are going to order our crib set soon. I am so excited!!! There is also this cute little girlie dresser at Home Goods that I want to purchase. It is really cute, but I decided I better stop and consult with my hubby before spending any more money. I think he might be a little agitated about how much I've spent, but it's not like I shop like this all the time. Anyway, thought I'd share my excitement about the nursery. This is just the first stage!

Ideas Anyone?

2005-10-12T13:48:00.000-05:00

So I was thinking about picking up a hobby. You see, Jeremy is going to a Widespread Panic concert this Saturday and it's all the way in Macon. He is leaving this Saturday early afternoon and coming home probably Sunday afternoon. (He's going to be missing the Bulldogs game...I wonder if he realizes that. He NEVER misses a game. In fact, part of our wedding night was spent watching the game and when we were coming home from our honeymoon, we were listening to it on the radio). Anyway, so I thought since I will be BORED to death this weekend, I thought I would pick up a hobby. I was thinking about going to Michaels and making something for our baby. Any suggestions anyone?

I guess I could study. I do have finals next week. I guess I could hang out with some of my girlfriends. I guess I could watch television all weekend. But I am in the mood to do something productive and something I could show off. So any advice is welcome.

Mystery Solved

2005-10-07T15:18:00.000-05:00

Okay okay...for those of you that are curious as to what I look like, I've finally decided to reveal myself. Well actually, let me rephrase that. Ever since I've learned how to post pictures on here, I've decided to reveal myself...LOL. Now you guys can finally put my blogs to a face. This is Jeremy and I on our honeymoon. We are at an Improve Comedy Club in Fort Lauderdale.

Our Precious Angel

2005-10-06T07:00:00.000-05:00

First Shopping Experience

2005-09-30T17:27:00.000-05:00

I am just so excited about having a girl that I thought I'd post another entry about my appointment yesterday. Alexa is really active. She kicks me all the time and the doctor had to chase her around because she was moving so much during the ultrasound. At one point, the technician was right above her head, and she was pushing down hard. Well just then, Alexa kicked me and as she did, the technician said whoa. I asked her, did you feel that or see that and she responded that she felt it. Then I said wow, she must have kicked pretty hard for you to feel that, and the technician told me that she didn't kick, she head butted...LOL. The technician said she doesn't think Alexa was liking what she was doing, so she head butted her...LOL. My baby is going to have a temper just like her mommy!

Also, according to the calendar, I was 21 weeks and 2 days at the time of my appointment. However, after the technician did her measurements, she said I was really 20 weeks and 6 days. She said it's no big deal and they won't change my due date because it's only a matter of three days. So far I have gained 16 pounds, which I guess is good. Every week, I check the development of my baby on babyfit.com. Well, during the 21 week, it says that the baby should weigh approximately 10.5 oz. Well, Alexa weighs 13.5 oz. What a piggie...LOL.

So after the appointment, we came home and ate dinner. Later that night, we went to Babies R Us to buy Alexa her very first outfit. Actually, it was going to be her going home from the hospital outfit. Well, after picking out an outfit, Jeremy says, we need to buy her something else because it's going to be cold in February. So we got her a layette. Then we were looking at hats and Jeremy wanted a three pack of one of those hats that the hospital puts on babies after they are born. Well, I told Jeremy we didn't need that because the hospital provides that for us, and he said he doesn't want his baby girl wearing something from the hospital. The hats will be dirty and he wants something clean for his baby. I told him the hospital is the cleanest place, and he just won't budge. So we bought the hats. Then he wanted to buy Alexa a "blankie". So we got her that too...LOL. I swear, he is going to SPOIL her.

My friend gave me really good advice. She said we should start stocking up on diapers, so that will be one less expense to worry about when I am on maternity leave. So we bought a pack of diapers and wipes. Every week or two, we plan on buying diapers and wipes. Of course, we will buy a little of the 1's and 2's so that as the baby grows, we will have diapers that will fit her. After buying that stuff, it just makes this pregnancy more real. I am so excited!!!

Team ......

2005-09-29T16:51:00.000-05:00

On PW, they use the term Team Blue for a boy and Team Pink for a girl. That is the reason for my title. I went to my ultrasound appointment today and I have the results! But before I tell you, I want to keep you in suspense and tell you about my appointment first.

The very first thing I did was give a urine sample. Then they did the ultrasound before they did anything else, like blood pressure and weight. The technician asked if we wanted to find out and we said YES. At first, the baby had its hand over its private part, so the technician said let me do my measurements of the baby first and then we will go back to that. I was getting nervous thinking the baby wanted to keep its identity a secret.

She did all her measuring and printing and then explained to us everything she was seeing. She was really sweet. She said the baby was measuring just perfectly and it weighs 13.5 oz as of now. All the organs are there and we even got to see one hand with all five fingers attached. When I saw that, I cried because I was just so grateful that our baby was healthy and growing normally. She then printed out a few pictures for us to keep and went back to the private part. Now the results...it's a...

GIRL!!!!!

We are sooo excited. We have been wanting a girl and my entire family wanted a girl too, so we are all so excited. At first I was a bit shocked because everyone kept saying I'm going to have a boy and deep down I felt like it was going to be a boy, so when the technician said congratulations, it's a girl, I was in shock for a minute. It had to sink in. We have some awesome pictures. We have one where she is looking right at us and you can see her eyeball. It's kind of scary...haha. She also took a side profile picture and a picture of her private part...LOL. I can't believe how much she has grown. The doctor did an ultrasound when I was only 9 weeks and back then, she looked like a peanut, but now she looks like a human. She has a huge head.

I am so glad that finally I can say she and not it. We have already picked out a name. She will be named Alexa. We are still waiting on my mom to give us a Korean name for her middle name, but if she doesn't come up with anything cute, we might go with Lee, her maiden name. So it might be Alexa Lee Bottoms. What do yall think? I'm not too sure if it flows, but I really like Alexa. I think it's really pretty and unique. Well, not unique, but not a lot of people are named Alexa.

Alright, let me stop here before I bore you guys to death. That's the verdict!

Gas and Butterflies

2005-09-20T13:58:00.000-05:00

Starting last week, I started feeling weird movements in my stomach. At first it would feel like gas, but nothing. Then it would feel like butterflies, and I would even think to myself "why am I so nervous" and realize that it is the baby. I know the doctor told me that the first initial movements would feel like gas or butterflies. Over the weekend, I actually felt a couple light kicks. I woke up one morning to feel three light kicks. I was so excited. I thought I would never feel the baby. But now I am feeling it all the time. It is very active!

So today is officially my 20th week. I am halfway there. I can't believe it has gone by so fast. Feels like I just found out yesterday that I am pregnant. Next Thursday is my ultrasound appointment. I get to find out what we are having. Jeremy wants a girl, but deep down I feel like it is going to be a boy. Whatever it is, we just hope we have a healthy baby.

As for married life, I thought our relationship wouldn't feel any different since Jeremy and I have been living together for a long time now, but we feel more love for each other and our relationship feels more concrete. It's a nice feeling. I feel like I have more responsibilities though. I should cook more, clean more, things like that.

So now that our wedding is over with, we need to start concentrating on the baby. I think when I am around 25-30 weeks, we are going to start really putting the nursery together. Once we find out the sex of the baby is when we are going to start buying things. We haven't bought anything yet. Our friend, who had a baby last year, gave us a ton of stuff and one of Jeremy's aunts bought us a couple of pacies and a pull down toy that plays music, but other than that, we haven't bought anything. I am excited though. I would go to the store and see something and be so tempted, but can't buy it because it's so gender distinguished. I have been using cocoa butter lotion on my stomach, but I've heard from many that stretch marks are hereditary and I've also been playing music for the baby. Jeremy and I fight about how soft or loud we should have it. I put it on loud thinking the music has to travel through my skin and my organs to reach the baby, but Jeremy puts it on so low that I can't even hear it.

He is so excited about the baby. My stomach is starting to get real hard and when you press on it, you can actually feel the baby. One morning Jeremy pushed on my stomach and he said the baby is right here and he was so excited. When he felt the baby, he said it feels like Christmas. He is going to be a great dad.

The next time I report is when I find out the sex. September 29 at 2:45. So excited!!!

Mrs. Jeremy Bottoms

2005-09-11T09:16:00.000-05:00

Well I am back from our honeymoon and before I begin my daily life, I want to soak in my week of fun and tell you guys all about it.

Last Friday, 9/2, I picked up my family from the airport. Thank the Lord that the plane was not delayed. I was worried about that because it was Labor Day weekend and I wasn't sure how busy the airlines were going to be. After picking them up, we dropped some of them off at home and ran to the Church for the rehearsal. After the rehearsal, we went and had dinner at Kani House aka Yoshino's. It's a Japanese restaurant and it was goooood.

On Saturday, a couple of my friends came over at 6 am to help me get ready for the wedding. One of my friends, Jama, was doing all of our hairs. They looked so beautiful. We were sort of late for the pictures, but it was okay. We just took a few and took the rest after the wedding because guests were starting to arrive and I didn't want them to see me yet.

The ceremony went perfect. All my hard planning paid off. I was so nervous though. As soon as I saw the last set of attendants walk down the aisle, my knees started shaking because I knew I was up next. Walking down the aisle was a little scary. I saw my mom crying, then Jeremy's mom crying, so I started crying. Then as we were saying our vows, I started crying again. Not when I was saying them, but when Jeremy was saying them to me because they touched my heart. Jeremy was tearing up also which also touched me.

Man, I feel like it all went by so fast. It's like a blur. Everyone always told me it will be over in a snap of a finger, but I didn't think it was going to go by that fast. But it was beautiful. Everything went perfect and everything just fell into place.

Afterwards we had our reception at the Modavi Restaurant, which I was not too happy about. Sonya, the lady who has been coordinating our reception, told me that people who ordered steaks would get a chance to let them know how they want to be cooked. Well, the restaurant decided on their own that they would cook all of them medium. Not everyone eats medium. And they were bloody medium, so almost everyone asked them to cook it a little longer. What a pain. Other than that, it was pretty nice.

After the wedding, we came back to the house and dropped my family off, packed a few more things and headed off to the Stone Mountain Marriott. My co-workers got us a room there. They wanted to book us at Chateau Elan, but it was booked for that Saturday. But the Marriott was beautiful and it was a perfect wedding night...sorry guys, no details...haha.

On Sunday, we woke up early and headed off to Pompano Beach, Florida. We did so many things there. Airboat riding, buggy rides, went to Miami and Miami Beach, and other things I can't remember. We hardly had time to lay out at the pool and get ourselves a tan. We met some really nice people and it was an awesome honeymoon. We really had a great time! I will post pictures as soon as I find out how.

While in Florida, we attended some timeshare presentations. If all of you don't know, when you attend one of those presentations, you get free things. We attended one in Myrtle Beach and we got $100. We attended one Tuesday morning and got $90 and went to another one right after that and got two free tickets to the Jungle Queen dinner cruise in Fort Lauderdale and a trip to St. Thomas. We have 12 months to use that trip. It's for 5 days 4 nights. So it was well worth going to those presentations. The only thing I hate about them though is when it's time to decide if you want to make a purchase and you tell them you want to think about it, they push you and push you to try and say yes that day. Sales people, go figure.

Anyway, that was our wonderful wedding and honeymoon. I wish we can do it a hundred times over again, but eventually reality sets in and back to our lives!

Last Day

2005-09-02T08:44:00.000-05:00

This will be my last day as a Kang. Tomorrow, I will officially become a Bottoms. That's a little scary don't you think. I mean, I am excited about getting married to the man I love, but dropping my family's last name and no longer being a part of them, in a sort of way, is kind of terrifying. But I am excited about this new journey as Jeremy and I start a family of our own.

The wedding is a little stressful now that it is finally near. When we first got engaged, everyone was telling me how stressful it gets and I was thinking, I'm having fun planning it. But now that it is getting to the end, it is very stressful, let me tell ya. The reception lady called us yesterday saying she can no longer offer the lunch menu. Therefore, we need to get the dinner menu, which is $4.00 more a person. Then the limo driver tells me a of couple weeks ago that he will call me back and fails to call me. I called him yesterday why he hasn't called me back and he said the quote his mother gave me is too low and he can't do it for that much. Well, call me and tell me. So, he is not getting our business. When he says he'll call me back, he needs to call me back no matter what.

Good news. The preacher agreed to allow us to move the communion table. About time something goes right! That is a huge stress reliever. Now I don't have to worry about people not being able to see us or the photographer not getting a full body shot of us.

Well, for the last time, I am signing off as Miss Ju Kang.

Why Me

2005-08-25T06:42:00.000-05:00

We have 9 days until the wedding and I have a broken blood vessel in my left eye, which has caused the white of my eye to turn bloody red. How nice. Just my luck. I am into my second trimester, and even though my morning/afternoon/night sickness went down a level, it hasn't totally disappeared. I guess from throwing up, I have put too much strain on my eye, at least that's what the doctor told me. I asked if he could prescribe some drops, but he said it's pointless. It'll just have to heal on its own. How lovely. I am still holding onto some hope though because the doctor told me it should take about 7-10 days for it to heal. I have 9 days. Let's see how it looks then. He said it should eventually turn brown and then yellow, so as long as it's in its yellow stage by the wedding, I should be happy. But I'm sure if it's not, the photographer can work some magic.

Well, the wedding plans are coming along great. We have everything planned, except for a few minor details. We are still trying to convince the preacher to move the communion table. For those of you who don't know the dilemma, the communion table is HUGE. It's a pretty small Church, so the stage is not up high. Standing on the stage, behind the communion table, makes it hard for people to see me and doesn't allow the photographer to take a picture of my entire dress. The communion table covers almost half of my dress. I mean, it's a pretty huge table. Well, the preacher at first said we can move it, then decided to change his mind and said it will take the symbolism out of worship. I can totally understand his view, but it's not like we are going to get rid of it altogether. Just push it to the side. We still intend on using it, for our unity candle. We'll see though.

Has anyone experienced this. People will be so nice to you, when you are only shopping around, and when they finally get your business, they turn into a witch! The restaurant we are having the reception at, Modavi Restaurant, the staff is really friendly. Especially Sonya, who coordinates receptions. Well, after we got her business, she totally did a 180. Everytime I call her to ask her things, she is just a total witch. Major attitude. I don't know if it's me because I am pregnant and my hormones are getting the best of me, or if that's just how businesses are. Anyway, I am tired of dealing with her. I will be so glad when this wedding is over!!!

Some Family Bonding

2005-08-18T20:52:00.000-05:00

Last night, we bonded as a family for the first time. I bought a three disc CD at Kohls that has classical baby songs. Well, last night I was playing it for the baby. I hooked up the headphones into my laptop and put the headphones on my stomach. Jeremy came home and I mentioned to him that I wanted one of those CD players that has two headphone hookups so that I can listen with the baby and he told me that he had a spliter. Well, I had extra headphones that went with my MP3 Player, so I hooked it up and I was able to listen to the CD with the baby. Well, the headphones I was using were actually earphones so I gave one ear to Jeremy and we sat there in bed for a good hour just listening to the music with the baby. I really felt a connection and it was really nice that Jeremy wanted to be a part of it.

Two more weeks left till the wedding. I am so excited. I feel like these last couple weeks are coming up SLOW. When we first got engaged, people would tell me that I would be really stressed out the last couple of weeks and they are right. I'm stressed because I want everything to go right. I'm constantly calling my procrastinating father and brother to get their tux fixed and trying to get everything ready when my family comes. Lately, I haven't been eating or even hungry because I'm constantly thinking and stressing. Well, I'm not stressing to the point where I am about to pull my hair out, but very anxious and worried. I just can't wait till the day is here and all my hard work has paid off. I've been waiting a long time for this.

Well, I'm going to relax now and play some music for the baby. Till next time...

Madame Zaritska's Prediction

2005-08-15T14:01:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I got this off of a pregnancy message board from pregnancyweekly.com. There is a website, sheknows.com, where this Madamn Zaritska can predict what it would be like outside when you deliver and what your baby will look like. This is only for fun. I don't really believe in this. Besides, only God has the power to decide. Here goes...

The day you deliver, outside will be rainy. Your baby will arrive in the evening.
After a labor lasting approximately 4 hours, your child, a girl, will be born. Your baby will weigh about 8 pounds, 10 ounces, and will be 18 inches long. This child will have dark brown eyes and be completely bald.

Here is my assessment of this prediction. It could be rainy since I will deliver in February. I pray my labor only lasts 4 hours. It could be a girl since that is what everyone is saying. The baby can weigh 8 lbs because Jeremy weighed that much when he was born. This child can definitely have dark brown eyes because I have dark brown eyes and Jeremy has blue. Therefore, mine is dominant. I PRAY that our child is not completely bald. I have never seen a baby girl born without hair. I've seen boys born without hair, but never a girl.

Anyway, like I said, this is just for fun. I'm not going to rely on this, but it will be fun to see if this is actually true once the baby is here. Thought I'd share this with all of you. Enjoy!

Pregnancy Pictures

2005-08-10T09:56:00.000-05:00

This morning, Jeremy suggested that since I am now 3.5 months pregnant, we should start taking montly pictures of my belly. I am not ready to because it is still mostly 80% fat and only 20% baby. I think once I hit the 4 month mark, I will be ready to expose my fat belly and start taking pictures. I know it might seem like I am very self-conscious of my weight, and yes I am. I have been chubby my entire life and I've had to deal with critisms from family, so weight is a sensitive topic for me. I lost 20 lbs in high school and now that I am getting big again (whether I am pregnant or not), it still makes me feel self-conscious. But once I start getting bigger and look more pregnant, I will feel more comfortable with taking pictures of my exposed belly.

I took the day off from work today. I woke up with a painful migraine. I've never had bad headaches before I became pregnant. Tylenol doesn't seem strong enough for me, but I am afraid to take anything else, even something the doctor prescribes. I guess I'll just ride it out.

I have to clean the house today. I hate cleaning, but I want our house to look nice for the bridal shower. I don't want people to think we live like pigs. I've also got some homework to do. We only have two more weeks left of this term and then our second term starts. During my second term, I have classes Mondays and Tuesdays. That works out great because when we take a week off for our honeymoon, I'll only be missing one day of class because on Labor Day, we don't have class.

Anyway, let me stop procrastinating and get up and do something.

Jeremy's First

2005-08-09T11:49:00.000-05:00

Ever since I became pregnant, Jeremy was unable to attend any of my appointments. He missed the first ultrasound, where I got to see its little heart fluttering. He missed my second appointment where I got to listen to the heartbeat. I am a little disappointed that he missed the first few important appointments, but we hit an unexpected bump in our lives and he had to do what he had to do to get us back on our feet. So I decided to rent a heart doppler from babybeat.com. Jeremy complained saying it was a waste of money, but when he heard the heartbeat for the first time yesterday, he thought it was the most amazing sound and he couldn't stop smiling.

A lot of things have changed for our wedding. The preacher, who is suppose to do the ceremony, backed out last minute saying him and his wife want to go out of town for Labor Day weekend and if it was okay with us if his associate, Rita, perform the ceremony. We said yes...I mean, what can we say. Jeremy is a little upset because he thinks the "man" is suppose to perform that duty...what a pig...LOL. I personally am delighted about it because he was getting on my nerves. He kept telling us what we could and couldn't do and I was getting so annoyed of him. I've switched out one of my bridesmaids and got an additional one. My two, VERY APPRECIATED, CAN DEPEND ON LAST MINUTE, sister-in-laws decided to be in our wedding. The reason I wanted one more additional bridesmaid was because I want my brother in the wedding as a groomsman and I needed a woman for him. But everything else is coming along great. We've sent out the invitations and have started receiving RSVPs.

I've started working out again. Nothing vigorous. Just some light walking and weight lifting. My arms are getting so huge and I don't want bulging arms for the wedding. I am wearing a strapless, so I want my arms to look at least toned since everywhere else will look HUGE. I'm even starting to get dimples on my legs because I am getting weight. I hate mirrors...LOL.

I've been having more energy ever since I've entered my second trimester. I even get to work early now, like I used to. I still get nauseous here and there, but doing much better. I've got a lot of baby things like swings and exersaucers from a friend of mine whose son just turned a year old, so our nursery is filled with a few things. I'm excited about decorating our nursery. I think we will wait until we find out the sex.

Well, that's it from me for now. Jeremy's aunts are throwing me a bridal shower this Saturday, so I guess I'll post with some presents!

13 Weeks 2 Days

2005-08-04T15:44:00.000-05:00

So today was my third appointment with the doctor. I am officially into my second trimester. I seem to have more energy, but am still a little nauseous. Everything went fine. They drew blood from me and then I got to hear the heartbeat. It was beating at 160 bpm. So according to the wives tale, I should be having a girl, but we'll see! It took them a little while to find the heartbeat because the baby is still so small, but when they found it, the sound was amazing. I loved it so much that I might actually rent one of those dopplers off the internet.

I have another appointment on August 30. It will be with a midwife because my doctor will be out of town. My next appointment with the doctor will be on September 29. I will be 21 weeks then, so we will be able to find out the sex then. We will start working on the nursery after we find out the sex. A friend of mine is a painter and she wants to do a mural for me. But I don't know what I want the theme to be yet. I was thinking Precious Moments, but that seems to be more expensive than other themes.

I am getting excited about the wedding. It is coming up fast. Jeremy and I decided to go down to Pompano Beach, FL for a week. My co-workers got together and got us a room at Chateau Elan that includes dinner, breakfast and a massage for two on the night of our wedding, so we will be spending a night up there and then driving down to Pompano Beach. It's about a ten hour drive, but tickets are so expensive right now that it's worth the drive. Besides, we both love road trips.

An answer to Kari's question...our wedding is on September 3. I've been waiting a long time for this moment, so I am very anxious. It's going to be the happiest day of our lives. Well, besides the birth of our baby it (despite what Taylor is saying...haha).

Surprisingly, Jeremy really wants a girl. I too want a girl, but whatever it is, I'll be equally happy.

Well, that's it for now.

Back to Reality

2005-08-01T14:50:00.000-05:00

I'm back! Actually, I've been back. I came home last Thursday around 2 in the morning. Some advice...NEVER FLY WITH AMERICAN AIRLINES! I had a two hour delay, then we had to fly over Rome, GA for an hour, then when we finally landed, we had to wait another half hour because there was construction being done around the gate we were suppose to get off at. Supposedly, Hartsfield Airport was extremely busy that night and they had no room for planes to land on, but everyone else seemed to have landed just fine. The only planes that were held up were American. Never again!

Anyway, home was fun. I had a blast! I always hate leaving because I get so pampered when I see my parents. They do not get to see me often, so when they do, they like to spoil me. It was great seeing my friends, but sucked that I couldn't drink with them everytime we went out to the bars (don't worry, every restaurant and bar is smoke-free up in CT)...LOL.

Wedding stuff is all done now. We got our invitations printed, thanks to Taylor, and sent out and we've got our wedding bands. My dress is being altered and I ordered all the attendant gifts and my jewelry that I am going to wear for the wedding. We met with Publix and got our cake ordered and our flowers are paid for. The only thing I have left to do is somehow get my veil onto the tiara I am borrowing from a friend. I have my four main things...something new (dress), something old (grandmother's necklace), something blue (garter), and something borrowed (tiara). The only problem with the necklace is I won't be able to wear it. I was thinking about tucking it inside my bra. Any suggestions?

We're meeting with the restaurant tomorrow night and the preacher Wednesday night for our pre-marital counseling and our last minute details. Then all we have to do is wait for the big day! I am soooo excited. Jeremy still wants to go on a honeymoon and even though I hate to go pregnant, I would like to spend some time alone as husband and wife. We might go on a cruise, but I don't know how well I'll do.

Anyway, thought I'd keep everyone updated on the wedding. I am getting huge! My belly is getting round, but I don't look pregnant when I have my wedding dress on, which is a good thing. The top part is made out of cardboard, I think, and the bottom part is flared and that is important because only my bottom stomach is getting rounder. I do have to say though, that even though I am excited about being pregnant, I do feel fat and unattractive. Sometimes I get depressed. I don't know if that's normal. I mean I am so happy I am pregnant and that we are going to have a baby, but my self-esteem has gone down a lot. I just feel so huge and ugly. Hope that is normal and that it will go away.

Anyway, happy Monday!

Home Sweet Home

2005-07-21T09:53:00.000-05:00

I am so excited! I am going home tomorrow! When I say home, I mean my parent's house in CT. I still refer to it as home. When I expressed my excitement to Jeremy about going home, he's like you are home and I said no my second home. I guess I should start saying my parent's house. Anyway, I am just so excited to see my family and my friends. I am even more excited about eating some home cooked meals. My dad calls me last night and asks if there is anything in particular my mother can cook for me. How sweet. He never asks me that. He's probably thinking about the baby and what the baby wants to eat, since I am starting to get cravings. I'm been craving a lot for sodium. One day, I ate a whole jar of pickles (there was about 10 left) and a can of Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup. By the end of the night, my fingers have swelled up so much that they looked like little sausages. I know that too much sodium is not good for me during my pregnancy. I better watch my intake. So next Tuesday, I will be in my 12th week which marks the end of my first trimester. I can't believe how fast it is flying by. I feel like it was just yesterday when I found out that I was pregnant. I can tell Jeremy is getting kinda scared, but excited at the same time. The other night he said, can you believe we're going to have a baby. Yep, believe it because it's coming...LOL. He's been really sweet though. Catering to my every need. He's going to be such a great dad!

Wedding plans are coming along great. Everything is all set and now we're just waiting for the day. I took August 4 off because I have a doctor's appointment and after that, we are going to the Forsyth County Probate Court to get our marriage certificate. I don't think we are going on a big honeymoon like we planned on doing. We originally thought about going to the Canary Islands, but since I'm pregnant and all, we decided to save that trip for another time. Instead, we might just take a few days and go to Destin or something. Either way, it'll be nice to spend some time with my new husband.

Well, that's it for now and I'll post after I come home (to Atlanta...LOL).

By the way, school sucks!

A Success

2005-07-16T19:29:00.000-05:00

Today was Jill's bridal shower (the one I threw for her). It was suppose to be a surprise, but when she showed up, she didn't seem surprised at all. I thought her fiance Joe spilled the beans, but she later told me that she read in one of my blog entries that I was going to throw her a bridal shower. Oh well, it was still a success. She really enjoyed herself and she got lots of presents!

Jeremy and I went to IKEA today. It was sooo packed. It's like the mall. We went there in search of a huge clock we can hang above the mantel, but came out buying a coffee table, two end tables and some pictures. It was fun though. It's always fun to shop!

Some sad news. We gave our dog Bailey away. We gave him to a client of Jeremy's. He bit Jeremy one time a long time ago. It was really bad. It was really deep and Jeremy had to go to the emergency room and get a shot. We let that one go, but recently, Bailey bit Jeremy again. Jeremy's hand swelled up. We would've let that one go too, but now that we are expecting a baby, we don't feel safe with Bailey around. I mean, Bailey is a small Lasa Apso, but when we try and discipline him, he gets aggressive and we can't have that. Jeremy brought him to the guy's house when I was hosting the bridal shower so that I wouldn't see him off. I didn't even get to say goodbye. When everyone left and I was home by myself, before Jeremy came home, I cried so hard. I was so upset that I didn't even get to say goodbye. Even typing it now makes me tear up. We've had him for a year and a half and I miss him so much. But to know that this guy we gave him to has another small dog makes me feel better. At least Bailey has a playmate now. Jeremy and I are so tired when we get home from work that we rarely play with him and the weekends are so packed with stuff that Bailey hardly gets any attention nowadays. I really miss him though. I'm starting to cry now so I'm going to stop talking about him.

I'm such a procrastinor. I haven't done any of my economics homework and I have class Monday. I'm helping, or should I say watching, Jeremy put together the tables so I probably won't get to it tonight. After Church tomorrow, I really got to start cracking down on the homework.

Well, till next time...

Hurrican Dennis

2005-07-11T12:09:00.000-05:00

I know I shouldn't be complaining because people in other parts of the country, like Florida, have faced more than I have due to this hurricane, but I need to vent! My one hour commute to work turned into a three hour ordeal this morning. Part of 141 was closed due to an accident, so therefore, I had to reroute and get on Old Atlanta to McGinnis Ferry to get onto 141. Old Atlanta was sooo backed up. Then, once I got onto 141, it was backed up all the way to States Bridge. The reason for the backup on 141 was because the traffic lights at two MAJOR intersections were not working and there were no cops directing traffic, so we had to create our own lights. That's an accident waiting to happen. To top it off, it was raining so hard off and on that I had to drive 30 mph. I knew I should've called in this morning...haha.

School has started back up. My first class was last Thursday. It went okay. I was soooo sleepy though. I have a class tonight. Dreading it. When it starts getting past 7, I zone out. I am so tired lately, all I want to do is spend the whole day in bed. That's what I did all weekend. Just laid in bed or the couch and watched television all day. I'm so lazy!

I don't know if any of you experienced this during your pregnancy, but this morning I woke up with a bloody nose...and I mean bloody. It ran down like water. It was so gross. It happened once before when I was a few weeks pregnant, and I read in a book that it's normal during pregnancy because I have more blood (or something along those lines), but I just wanted to make sure it was normal.

Well, I hope everyone had a great weekend and have a great Monday!

Should I Do It?

2005-07-08T13:56:00.000-05:00

I am so dying to rent one of those heart doppler things, but I'm contemplating as to whether or not I should because I will get to hear it on August 4. I want to wait because I want to look forward to something, besides being pricked for blood, at my next appointment, but I am sooooo anxious to hear the heartbeat. What is a girl to do...

My First Appointment

2005-07-07T19:30:00.000-05:00

Today was my first prenatal appointment. I was so excited that I couldn't sleep last night. We went to bed late and I woke up early, even though I had the day off. I was just too excited about seeing my baby on the screen. So we arrived at the hospital at 11:30 and we filled out some consent forms, for like the HIV test and Cystic Fibrosis test. I chose not to be tested for Cystic Fibrosis because I don't know if my insurance will cover it and since I am not really at high risk, I figured why be tested. After giving a urine sample and getting weighed (I gained a pound and a half), they checked my iron and hemoglobin. Everything turned out fine. Then I was transferred to a room where they did a pap smear and then the doctor did the vaginal ultrasound. It was awesome. I saw my little baby and its little heartbeat. It was fluttering really fast. I didn't ask the rate of the heartbeat, but the doctor said it looked perfect. I'm actually surprised at its size because I am only 9 weeks and I just expected to see a dot, but it looks like a peanut. I was more excited to see the heartbeat because it just made it seem so real. The doctor gave me a couple of pictures so hopefully I'll get them scan soon so everyone can see.

After the appointment, Jeremy wanted me to stop by his office to show him. He was really excited. He went with me to the appointment, but his brother called and did something to almost mess up our loan that we are trying to get to refinance our house, so Jeremy had to leave and clean that mess up. I really wish that he was there though. He missed his baby's first heartbeat and ultrasound. I really wanted to share that special moment with him. But at my next appointment, August 4, the doctor said we will be able to hear the heartbeat with a doppler and Jeremy promised to be there for that.

My morning sickness has been calming down. I've been feeling pretty good this week. I would get nauseous and gag, but didn't vomit. But I still have food aversions that make me sick at the thought of them. I can't believe I am almost into the second trimester. It's all going so fast. I've been obsessed with A Baby Story. I watch it religiously. Watching the show makes me want to meet our baby so badly.

So that's what happened at my first appointment. I can't wait to hear the baby's heartbeat! I definitely will not be able to sleep the night before that appointment...LOL!

Fireworked Out

2005-07-05T09:46:00.000-05:00

Man, I have never seen so much fireworks in my life. On Saturday, we went to downtown Norcross to watch fireworks with a few of our neighbors. On Sunday, we went up to Taylor's farm to cookout and hang out and watch fireworks. They were AWESOME! We had a blast! On Monday, we went to Lenox and watched fireworks with a couple of our neighbors. They were awesome! We ate at Houston's and watched the fireworks from the parking lot. The fireworks reflected off of this black building behind us. They were beautiful. The fireworks were sooo big. It looked like they were jumping right at us. We listened to Star 94 while watching the fireworks (they match the music to the fireworks) and that was cool. I love fireworks!

So Thursday is my first appointment. I think I am going to go with a midwife. Taylor had a midwife and just hearing the difference between them and doctors, I think I will do better with a midwife. If there are any complications during labor, there is always a doctor in the hospital, so I'll be alright. I wish I can get Emma (Taylor's midwife), but my insurance will only allow me to pick out of their provider list. But I'm sure I can get a midwife as sweet as Emma was to Taylor.

I hope everyone else had a great Fourth of July!

Judgment Day

2005-07-01T10:29:00.000-05:00

I just received a call from New Natalies Bridals that my dress has arrived. I'm nervous to pick it up and try it on. I mean, I haven't gained too much weight, but I can tell my stomach has gotten a little bigger than when I bought the dress. Let's just pray that it'll fit and looks as gorgeous as it did before I got pregnant.

So my cousin Linda calls me yesterday to tell me she can't make it to the wedding. Her work is not allowing her to switch her day from the 10th to the 3rd. But no worries. I plan on asking a friend, who I initially wanted in the wedding, and I'm sure she will accept. I won't make her pay for the dress because she will need to spend a pretty penny on alterations. See, my cousin is a big girl and she ordered a size 16, which would still be too small on her, and my friend probably wears a size 8. Therefore, she's going to need to take half of the dress off and I'm sure it will cost a good amount for that much alterations. So I don't want to charge her for the dress and then make her pay for alterations. I made my mom pay Linda back for the bridesmaid dress. My mom will pay for what she's done. I don't think I should pay her.

I hope everyone has a safe and wonderful Fourth of July weekend. Becareful with fireworks. I think Jeremy and I are going to go on a little date tonight. We plan on going to see Batman Begins...BOO. I really want to see Cinderella Man, but Jeremy says that sounds like a chick flick because of the word "Cinderella"..haha. We might do a dinner and a movie, but thinking about food right now is making me sick. But whatever we do, it'll be nice. We need to go out on dates as much as possible before the baby comes because after that, we won't be going on any...haha.

So you guys are probably curious about my title. Well, Judgment Day is the day I try on my dress. I will look either pretty pregnant or fat pregnant. Let's hope for pretty pregnant. I guess if I just work out my arms, I shouldn't worry too much. It's a sleeveless dress and all you'll see are my arms, so maybe I'll just keep them toned. As for the rest of me...I'm pregnant. Cut me some slack...=)

A Great Day...Yesterday

2005-06-30T10:34:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a great day! Not only was I not sick ALL DAY, but I was able to keep down every meal. I thought things were looking up for me until today. Now I'm back to bonding with the toilet. So it's official. Our wedding date has changed from September 10th to September 3rd, thanks to my menopausal mother. But I really don't mind...except for the fact that Melanie and Rick (Jeremy's mom and stepdad) got married on that day. I guess it's not a big deal, but it's still creepy that our wedding anniversary will be the same as theirs. But there is nothing that can be done about it now since all the tickets are bought for my family to fly down September 2nd. So there is no turning back...LOL. I am so excited! I am going home July 22nd. I miss my family and friends and I can't wait to see them all again. I'm more excited about sleeping in and not having to go to work. Lately, I can't seem to get up to go to work and I keep coming in later and later. I gotta stop or else I might get fired. But I CANNOT seem to get up and if I try to get up before 8 am, I get so dizzy. School starts next week. It's been such a great past couple of weeks without having to study or attend classes till 10 at night. Usually, we start the new term the following week, but DeVry decided to be generous and give us three weeks off for the summer. I am not looking forward to school when I start getting bigger because DeVry still uses those desks where the seat is connected to the desk and I probably won't fit into them...LOL. Maybe I'll start taking more online classes. Anyway, I'm going to try and eat my salad for lunch. Let's hope I keep it down.

Tagged

2005-06-28T19:33:00.000-05:00

Well, I've been tagged by Kari, so here goes...

Three nicknames: Ju-Ju-Bee, Hubbas, Tubbas

Three things I like about myself: My caring nature, my ambition, my jokes (yes, I laugh at my own jokes...LOL)

Three things that scare me: Being tortured, being alone in the house (at night), the basement (I'm such a baby...LOL)

Three everyday essentials: Prenatal vitamin, a glass of milk, a shower

Three things I'm wearing right now: Engagement ring, promise ring, pajamas

Three fave bands growing up: In no particular order - NKOTB, Backstreet Boys, All For One

2 truths and a lie: I'm excited about my soon to be family, I LOVE chinese food, I am tall

Three things I can't do without: My family, Jeremy, my friends

Three things I can certainly live without: Traffic, getting sick, chores

Three places I want to go on vacation: Africa, Japan, Fiji

Three things I want to do before I die: Sky-dive, have a career, learn to swim

I'm tagging three people: Nikki, Kit, Mary

Reassurance

2005-06-27T13:00:00.000-05:00

You know, I was just reading my past couple of blogs and it seems like all I'm doing is bitching. I'm sorry. I know it's probably not pleasant to read negative thoughts. I promise to be more positive and really, I'm not a bitchy person. I guess it's my hormones =)
I promise to be more optimistic so that my blogs are funnier to read. Hope yall come back now!

Scared

2005-06-27T12:52:00.000-05:00

Ok I'm scared. I was reading on Week 8 and it says that this week is the most critical and I should be careful of what I eat and drink. But I am just not in the mood to eat ANYTHING. All I had today was a granola bar, a can of pears and some crackers. I went upstairs to the cafe to eat something with a co-worker and seeing her food made me sick. Even thinking about eating real food makes me run to the bathroom. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?! I know everyone says they go through this stage in the first trimester and I know the baby will get whatever it needs from me, but I just can't help but fear that I am starving my baby. I feel like I'm being a bad parent already. I know I should force something down my throat, but it just comes right back up. Even the smell of ANYTHING makes me sick. Maybe it is because I am CRAVING Korean food. Maybe I'll buy some and see if I can eat it. Maybe my appointment next Thursday will reassure me that everything is fine. I hope so. If anything is wrong, I could never live with myself thinking I starved it to death.

Wedding Blues

2005-06-27T09:03:00.000-05:00

To catch people up to date, my mother wants us to move the wedding date to September 3, 2005 because that is Labor Day weekend and my mother wants to have a three day weekend so that she can have one day to rest before my parents open up shop. It all depended on the photographer so we gave him a call and he couldn't tell us till the end of this month because he had a meeting with a lady on 6/25/05 who wants September 3. Well, he called last night to let us know he has September 3 available. So I called my mom to let her know, but it all depended on my two cousins, who are in the wedding, because they already took the tenth off from work and they are not sure if they can switch it to the third. Well my mom had a freak attack. She said I was being selfish and if I cared more about my two cousins coming instead of her, I can keep it the tenth and she just won't come. She is being such a BITCH! I mean I love her, but she is being so selfish about the whole thing. I mean it's my damn wedding. Jeremy is so fed up with her making it her wedding and stressing me out, especially since I'm pregnant. I mean, my mother and I fight so badly that I'm sure my neighbors can hear me screaming. I just end up hanging up on her, like I did last night. She calls me back and leaves me this nasty message. And what I hate the most is when she says, don't yell because your baby will have the same attitude as you and it's like then stop making me so annoyed. So I just told her that if Linda and Jin (cousins) can't come, then she will just have to refund their bridesmaids dresses. But it's not even about the dresses. If Linda and Jin can't come, then I'm just going to have one bridesmaid while Jeremy has three groomsmen. UGH! I can't believe my mother! I just want to elope and just make her pissed off. She would HATE it if I just went and got married...LOL. Then she offers to buy me a plane ticket home for the Fourth of July. HELL NO! If I'm face to face with her, I can't just hang up on her so NO THANK YOU! I'm not going to go home until she gets whatever she has up her butt out. The only reason I would want to go home right now is because I miss my sister and my friends and I miss Korean food. I mean I can buy some from Farmers Market, but it's not the same as my mom's cooking. She's the BEST at cooking Korean food. That's the only compliment I'll give her right now!

Malnutritious?

2005-06-23T12:50:00.000-05:00

So lately I haven't wanted to eat. Everything makes me sick. The only thing I have been eating the past few days are crackers, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and ramen noodles. I still drink my glass of milk a day and take my prenatal vitamin, even though I throw it up five minutes later. I have been addicted to gingerale though. I drink it all the time at work because I'm naseous and they say gingerale tames it (but not for me). I don't know if I am giving enough (or any for that matter) nutrition to my baby. I'm scared I'm scarving it or giving it junk. I feel like I'm being a bad mother already. But I don't know what to do. I don't want to eat. If it wasn't for the intense hunger I feel sometimes or knowing I have to feed a baby, I wouldn't eat at all. What's wrong with me?

Miserable

2005-06-22T21:03:00.000-05:00

I feel like I am not eating healthy enough for my baby. Not only do prenatal vitamins make me nauseous and I just end up throwing them up, but I have a big distaste for meat (a big source of protein). Lately, I just haven't been able to eat anything. I just feel so nauseous all day that all I want to do is either sit by the toilet or go to sleep. I heard morning sickness goes away around the 15th week (which means I have 7 more weeks of this), but with my luck, I'll have it until the 9th month. I want to stop feeling sick and start enjoying my pregnancy. I even told Jeremy that this will be our only child. I'm complaining now, but I'm sure once I hold my angel in my arms, it will all be worth it. I have my first ultrasound on July 7th. Maybe seeing the ultrasound will make me feel good.

My Menopausal Mother

2005-06-21T03:26:00.000-05:00

So I called my mother to tell her we might move the wedding date closer because I might not be able to fit into my dress in September. We were thinking of July 30 or August 6. Why did she tell me I was being selfish and not thinking about them or their business. So I told her she was being selfish. I am their first daughter and my first and only wedding and she can't close the shop down not even for a day. So we got into this huge fight that resulted in me hanging up on her. My sister called me shortly after telling me our mother has been so bitchy later. I really think she is going through menopause. My dad is more understanding and he called and said if I ever had to talk about the wedding, just to call him. He knows everytime me and my mom talk, we just end up fighting. So now they want me to change the wedding to the 3rd of September because that is Labor Day weekend and they want that extra day before they have to open up shop again. I don't mind doing that, but it all depends on the photographer. He has a meeting at the end of this month with a lady who is getting married on that day. If she likes his work, which I'm sure she will, then that day will be taken. If that is the case, we will keep it the tenth. We might as well because Linda already took the time off of work and I would hate for people to alter their plans AGAIN. It's bad enough I went back and forth about the wedding and now the date. What will people think of me. Anyway, I just took this new sample prenatal vitamin and it made me throw up everything I ate today so I'm going to try to sneak a nap at work.

Officially Pregnant

2005-06-20T13:11:00.000-05:00

After this past weekend, I can safely say that I am pregnant. I have been puking up a storm. I don't know what it was, but this past weekend was the first time I experienced morning, afternoon and night sickness. At first I contemplated as to why I started getting morning sickness and so I decided to do a test. Friday and Saturday morning, I ate a real breakfast. Usually, I just have time for a granola bar on the way to work. On Sunday, I just ate a granola bar and I was fine all day. I came to the conclusion that if I eat real breakfast, like eggs and sausage, I don't feel good ALL DAY. I vomit all day which leads to this migraine that just makes me want to drive a knife through my head. If I just eat crackers or granola bars, I'll be fine. So I guess I'll save the real food for the afternoon. I wish I could stay home during the first few months of my pregnancy. All I feel like doing is laying in bed and sleeping all day. I have no energy to do anything. I don't even feel like working out, which I should be doing if I want to fit into my wedding dress. I am worried that I'll be too big (fat and pregnant) to fit into my wedding gown. But we'll see how it turns out!

Title Change

2005-06-15T02:28:00.000-05:00

So I decided to change my blog title from A Wedding Story to A Wedding/Baby Story. I figured since this blog will contain my steps to becoming a wife and a mother, I would change the title to fit my blogs. I can't believe I'm going to be a wife and a mother within five months of each other. It seems like everything came all at once, but Jeremy and I are both very excited about our future together. It's so cute to see Jeremy all worried about the baby. This morning I was up, as usual, and I rolled over in bed and Jeremy woke up and said, "are you on your stomach? You can't be on your stomach" and I assured him that I wasn't. I'm still having a hard time with picking out a name. I know I said I would name it Jaelyn if it's a girl, but now I'm not sure. I have always like the name Alexa and I've always wanted to name my little girl that, but when I heard Jaelyn I changed my mind. Now I'm changing my mind again. I don't know though. I am leaning more towards Alexa, but I really want a name that is original and I think Jaelyn is very original. Watch me have a boy. I haven't even thought about a boy's name. Taylor thinks we are having a girl. Jeremy really wants a girl and a part of me wants a girl too. But no matter what sex it is, it will have so much love it won't know what to do with it. I can't wait to find out what we are going to have. I'm so excited!

Sleepless in Georgia

2005-06-14T12:21:00.000-05:00

I don't know if it's because I am pregnant or because I am not allowed to sleep on my stomach, but for the past week, I haven't been able to sleep. Don't get me wrong, when we go up to bed, I pass out, but I end up waking up in the middle of the night WIDE AWAKE. I can't seem to go back to sleep, so I end up staring at the ceiling for the remaining three hours until I have to get up and get ready for work. I hate that I am not getting my usual 6-8 hours of sleep. Hopefully it will get better as the pregnancy progresses, but I have a feeling it will get worse. I still haven't experienced much morning sickness (thank the Lord), and I've actually been feeling great. I think I even look prettier (not to be vain) because I am pregnant. I'm probably just glowing. Anyway, I just wanted to express my frustration as to my sleepless nights. I need to figure out what I can do to sleep longer.

My First Night

2005-06-10T04:03:00.000-05:00

So last night was the first night I spent knowing I was pregnant. Therefore, I couldn't sleep in my favorite position, my stomach. So I tossed and turned all night. Being on my back was very uncomfortable and laying on my side was kind of uncomfortable. I have been sleeping on my stomach for 25 years so changing that was really hard. I did not get a wink of sleep. Maybe three hours, if that. It was so uncomfortable that I was thinking about getting up and sleeping on the couch, sitting up. I have a feeling I am not going to sleep well for the next nine months. But I guess that comes with being pregnant, along with the hot sweats and being nauseas all day. But in the end, it will all be worth it. I don't know if this is surprising or if I should have expected it, but Jeremy is being more of a worry wart than I am. In the middle of the night I became so hungry, so I went to the kitchen and got a granola bar. As I am eating it in bed, Jeremy wakes up and asks me, "are you allowed to eat that?" (we have been reading magazines where it tells me what to eat and what to avoid) and I tell him I think it is fine. Then I had my laptop on my lap and he asks me, "are you allowed to have that so close to your stomach?" I'm not too sure on that one, but I figure since I am only a minute pregnant, I should be alright, but from now on, I will have it on a table instead of my lap. Being pregnant makes me feel so different. I can't explain it, but it does. But it's a good feeling and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

An Unexpected Surprise

2005-06-09T23:27:00.000-05:00

Ok so I had an appoinment for my yearly pap smear this morning and why did I come out of the office carrying a baby bag with tons of baby magazines and prenatal vitamins? Because I am PREGNANT!!! I can't believe it. It was a total shock. After getting weighed, the nurse asks me if my last menstrual cycle was May 3. I answer yes, but I informed her that I should be getting my cycle again soon because my breasts were tender and I was experiencing cramps. Well, she wanted to take a pregnancy test just in case and it turns out that I am pregnant. I immediately started balling my eyes out. I was so happy and excited. I was shaking terribly though. After the appointment, I surprise Jeremy at his office and tell him the good news. He was stressed out at first because of the financial responsibility that goes with a child, but afterwards he became very excited. After announcing it to the guys at the office, I decided to start on my list of people to call. I was very nervous about calling my parents (they are so old fashion), but they were okay with it considering Jeremy and I are getting married in three months. However, I can tell in my mom's tone that she wanted me to finish school first. But I assured her that I will not quit and I will graduate. My dad is joking around telling me that he doesn't want to be a grandpa. He will feel too old..LOL. I am so excited. I can't believe I am going to be a wife in just a matter of a few months and then a mom a few months after that. It is going all too fast so I want to slow down and enjoy everyday and every moment. I am already starting to become a worry freak. I am trying to digest everything I read so I don't eat the wrong thing or do the wrong thing to hurt my pregnancy. I can already feel some of the pregnancy symptoms like fatigue and laziness, but then again, I've always been lazy..LOL. I have my next appointment on July 7. Jeremy will be with me for that one. The doctor told me that during that appointment, she will do an ultrasound. I am not that far along. Maybe two weeks. The doctor told me I am a minute pregnant..LOL. Jeremy and I are both hoping for a girl. Jeremy wants a girl because he is not ready to devote his entire time with a boy. For example, teaching him sports and all the manly stuff he needs to know and I want a girl because I already have a name picked out, Jaelyn or Jaelin (can't decided which way to spell it..I think I like "lyn" because it looks more feminine than "lin"). Jeremy prefers Lexis, but I've been wanting to name my little girl Jaelyn for the longest. But whatever the sex of the baby is, we will love it with all of our heart and soul. The middle name will be Korean. I will have to consult with my mom for a Korean name though. I am so excited. I can't tell you how I am feeling. All I can say is that it is wonderful!

The Countdown

2005-06-06T23:03:00.000-05:00

We have about 3 months left till the wedding. I'm really stressed out because the pastor at the Church we are getting married at is being difficult. He is not allowing us to remove the communion table and he is suggesting that we have the reception on the parking lot. I think we are going to move the reception to the Modavi Restaurant. I'm also stressing out because lately, I have been gaining weight. I need to get back on my dieting plan and work out everyday during my lunch hour. If I don't lose any weight, I probably won't fit into my wedding gown. Tomorrow is going to be my first day of living healthy. I'm going to eat right and work out everyday. I have exactly 3 months to work out and lose around 15 pounds. We'll see how dedicated I am though. But I've got to do something. Our wedding is just around the corner. This summer is going to fly by so fast. This past weekend was Payton's, Jeremy's cousin, bridal shower. This weekend is my friend Gargi's engagement party, June 25 is Jacqueline's, Jeremy's cousin, wedding, July 9 I am throwing a bridal shower for my friend Jill (I'm her maid of honor), July 15 is Payton's wedding, I'm going home sometime in the end of July, and August 27 is Jill's wedding. I can't believe how fast this summer is going to fly. I can't believe I'm going to be a wife in a few months. I'm getting anxious and nervous as days go by. I'll post updates on my road to weight loss.